Not quite the same as yourself, no kids but were together for nearly 10 years….. i became withdrawn i guess and we drifted apart to the extent we were flatmates but slept in the same bed. We didn’t really do anything together and had no common interests, i couldn’t/wouldn’t discuss my feelings with her and her with me, she was really frustrated and when things came to a head she became really nasty in the things she would say and this pushed us further apart. The relationship finally ended and she moved out to go back to her parents of all places (at the age of 32) so living with me mast’ve been bad! 🙁 That was 18 months ago and i can honestly say i’ve regretted what happened every day since, i haven’t been able to move on and i’m completely miserable in every aspect of life……..i barely even ride my bike these days! 🙁 My advice for what its worth is do everything you can to rectify/save the relationship not just for the kids but for you and your partner because whats right for you will work for the kids. If it doesn’t work out at least you’ve tried and you’ll be able to move on, hopefully much happier.
Good luck 🙂