Theres a hole in my shin that still hasn’t healed properly after a couple of years and yeah, I thought I’d eased off, but I have recently taken up skating again, and I reckon that’s actually more dangerous, especially when you don’t heal so fast and you live next door to a concrete downhill skatepark… so to get over that I’ve built the death barge ™ up again. And I’m shopping for bigger, faster, more launchable skis for this winter.
Counting the scars, the fear seems to go in 5 year cycles for me. Coming out of an episode right about now.

Basically, ease off all you want, but if you’re the sort of person that enjoys hurting yourself at speed, eventually your unconscious mind will get it’s way.

No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong.

The arse end of my bike is imperial measurements, the front is metric. Does that count as mismatched travel?

The G6 does look like just what I want, mind you, regardless of numbers. If they spec it in hands I’ll probably buy one at some point.

Beacon Tower, Fishponds, Bristol. It’s astonishing. I can’t actually find a photo of it, I assume most cameras commit suicide if you try.

You know the magic ratio of proportions used to create a graceful, balanced structure? There is an opposite, and that figure is hidden somewhere in the measurements of this building. It’s too short to actually be a tower for a start, but too regular to be a turd. It really does deserve some sort of a prize for unfeasibly bad design. It’s not ugly as such, just.. just wrong.

10 deg, 10mm spacer & flat bars. It’s still 4cm-ish lower than the saddle when at XC spinning-along height though.

It’s mint on a rigid big wheeler. Try locking your forks out or turning the compression right up – easier to pump without the bike squidging all over the place. Have only hit one tree so far, well below my usual average.

To be honest I’m amazed it lasted as long as it did. Isn’t that the one that you didn’t quite land a quarry drop on?

I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my gnar, forgone all custom of lugging supertacky minions uphill; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition – that goodly norco frame, the death barge, seems to me a sterile lunk; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire,—why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours into which I am no longer inclined to jump. What a piece of work is man on a rigid singular swift! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like a fat drunk angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?

Well, that disclaimer out of the way, actually it’s pretty bloody good. Yes it’s different, yes it’s brand new so hasn’t yet got much character, but it will erode, everything does, it will eventually get roots growing through it, because the roots you’ve been riding near to death will hopefully regrow, people will miss corners and odd lines will evolve and it will actually be rideable in winter. (Yay!)

On a damp, farily gopping Wednesday night during a 10 minute window there were 8 riders I saw on quarry and another 4 nearby, having recently ridden it. Without this sort of work the only way to keep AC rideable at all is to organise a cull of MTBers. For comparison, in leigh woods there were 0, in t’other bit there were 0, in 50 acre there was 1. Furthermore, in these locations there was approximately 100 of mud. And believe me, I do a lot of standing around “admiring the view”; I’m fat and lazy. Plenty of opportunity to count.

And as for “it’s not like it was” well no, but it was even better before before, pre-timberland, last century, before all you other buggers turned up with your crabon fibre picnics, fancy-schmancy seatposts and modern city-folk ways. Yes I’d prefer a more earthy, rootsy, “natural” trail, but in order to get that I’m going to need all of y’all to bugger off and stop cycling round these here parts. Until you see sense and do just that, I reckon that this is going to be the best option.

And remember, if you really, really want it lumpier, just take the Welsh Trail Centre approach – armour up, hop on your rig, set gravity droppers to ‘mince’ and drag that back brake all the way round the sucker! But if you do, just try and remember why there’s hub deep puddles come November.

I’ll be up there saying hello to few people, wandering around, offering words of encouragement, getting a few snaps. Not actually racing, perish the thought. Terrible hawaiian shirt and a singular swift, possibly a beer also, if the beer tent has a decent view of the course.

Roots, you say?

Orange C16r. One of my current bikes is coming a close second and closing the gap, mind.

How does it steer with that much kit up front? I’m kinda dubious about this ‘loads over the bar’ approach to packing, my previous trips having had all the junk in the trunk…

Since 1991 I have broken (as opposed to worn out) everything bar a front hub. Frame wise bent a saracen (bent it back) and snapped a Mount Mision at the pivot. Have ovalised a few headtubes too. Fork wise have snapped steerers, bent some out at 90 degrees blown up maguras and RSTs, entirely discombobulated an old set of rockshox. Everything went.

Re: hardcore hardtails, the 2003 secondhand Marin B17 frame that I’ve got a set of lyriks on and hurled into a load of silly things under a graceless, talentless, 220lbs lunk is still refusing to die. Astonishing bit of kit. Proper job.

Don’t mess around, get a Salsa cog, or an On-One groove armada. Buy cheap; buy twice and spend a considerable amount of time cursing a cheapo wonky sprocket.

Besides that see also Mr Sheldon Brown’s site (apparently still kept going by those good folks at Harris Cyclery, who deserve massive props for doing so, still the best place for arcane cycling info). And get a 29er, it works better on a 29er. (For me anyway, your results may vary)

I’m at home, with a beer, kitchen scales out, weighing tents and looking for my map of Dartmoor… you know who’s fault this is? Yours. All of you.

One problem with a 29er that I hadn’t anticipated, mind you, is that there’s less space to fit stuff in between the top of the tyre and the saddle. I clearly need smaller, lighter, more expensive stuff.

Rig eh? Aye, and under full sail on a broad reach I’ll be bound she can make all of five knots. Tell me, what d’ye make of these tales of the white whale?

Scaredy, are we to understand that underneath that Milletts-yard-sale of random bags, mud and, well, just stuff there’s actually a bike?

I mean, your stem seems to have some sort of fungal infection. You really ought to have that looked at, you know.

I had a set of 1st gen Marzocchi 66s for a while, on the front of a Norco. At their longest setting I think it snuck under 65. That’s a slack head angle.

6 degree rise on its side at the botom of a box of parts in the spare room. Sam, how are you getting on with that latest batch?

No pressure…

I’m about to commit something similar, but with less gears and marginally wider tyres. And uglier handlebars. I approve.

I have something of a hangover, the drive side of my bike appears to have been turfed and my knee hurts. Mission accomplished.

The park looked like it was in pretty good nick this morning – a couple of trails S-ing down but nothing a spot of rain and a weeks growth won’t spruce up. Held up well, hope that helps with a re-run at some point.

Ask yourself – why do HMRC have your e-mail address but not your name?

Superb! Thought I'd missed this for some resaon. Speaking as a resident I'm all for it.

What do you reckon for the course – the Marin with Minions on or the Brompton with a shopping basket?

Have you seen the one legged guy in the wheelchair from Turbo Island? With a clear run he can hit about 25mph going backwards past the Blue Mountain. Quite outstanding.

Mr 661 is a fine addition to the Gloucester Rd crowd though. I miss that commute, though only a bit.

Been called 'induraaaaaaaaaaain' by a crowd of lunatic drunken basques on a climb in the pyrenees.

Made it across 3 countries and one sea in less than 36 hours for the grand sum of £0.00 without performing any favours for lonely truckers.

Does a mosquito count as an animal that could realistically kill and eat you?

Y'see, I'm really liking Death Magnetic at the moment as well. It kinda sounds like I remember Metallica sounding, whereas what Metallica sounded like doesn't sound like what I'm sure Metallica sounded like when I first got into the Metallica sound.

I think maybe Metallica have invented a time machine and there's a Metallica paradox where now Metallica have gone back to mellow then Metallica's sound but later Metallica have sent the JH2000 back to try and stop now Metallica meddling with then Metallica whilst simultaneously bringing then Metallica forward into now to make sure that later Metallica can still build the JH2000 then.

Regardless, it's a pretty strong album.

Brentford is awesome. I've got the original of one of his poems too. I inadvertently pinched it off him at a signing, I may send it back one day, if he agrees to give me a part in one of his books…

mmmmmmmmmm beer[/url]

Tiny, in a word. Haven't been there in an age, seem to recall it being quite nice.

Billy's good for sam smiths, the Navy Vol will have duff karaoke, and the beer in the llandogger was always awful. Maybe they've improved?

If you can be arsed walking up a hill and want the best beer, go 500m up Colston Street and go to Colston Yard. Best selection of bitter, lager and belgian niceness you'll find. Good food too. Easy to find, well worth it.

Seinheisser sport twist-to-fit ones that have a sort of o-O sticky up bit on the top are what you need. You can get a set of the green ones off Amazon for a tenner. Horrible colour, but they work.

Backhander – the cow is, in fact, special forces. Sneaky.

Snipers are usually used as recon or cover for others. I would imagine they are being used to cover police officers who are scouring the fields and woods in the area.

Recon are a bunch of wookie douche campers. The bloke's got a couple of shotguns, plod have assault kit with 4x scopes, it's only going to end one way.

I think I may be developing a PS3/reality problem.

Dye the black bits white and the white bits black and – hey presto – invisibadger.

Simple and effective.

There was a young feller called Lee,
Who thought he'd been stung by a wasp,
But when he was asked
"Did it hurt?"said
"No, it can do it again if it wants"

Hat tip to Johnny Clarke for that one.

slow down?

was the last thing that got me in proper trouble. Thinking "hmmm. not sure i can maintain this" and trying to scrub some speed meant that "skimming over" became "bouncing off". Didn't end well, should have just held it to the bitter end.

I always like to have a decent bit of speed when I crash as that way you spend more of the crash going sideways rather than downwards, and it's the downward bit that hurts.

First thing to do is to plug in an ipod and rename it in itunes, then do the same with the other one.

Afterwards it'll show up in the menu not as "iPod" but instead as "Humphrey Cheesegrater Smythe III" and be recognised by your sync prefernces as such.

That's the hypothesis, at least.

Meat, salt.

Splashing a bit of mushroom ketchup over them whilst cooking works, but anything else is just a bit faddy.

Drac – Space Marine is going to be a FPS. It's also (hopefully) going to be a Squad based multiplayer online co-op FPS in SPACE (*reverb*) with orcs and outrageously silly weapons, and destruction, and the moon on a stick. I'm bound to be dissapointed though.

The trailers look pretty convincing, though I admit I'm easily swayed by bright colours and lots of explodey things 😀

I'm hoping that there's some system built into it whereby you can only play the game whilst listening to metal realy, really loud.

The nerd-tacular Space Marine.

I'll get my coat *rolls D20, selects linen jacket + extra reputational damage*

160 lyriks on an old (03ish) rocky ridge frame, have done for a while. Given the franky pisspoor way I ride I'm most concerned about the chainstays.