we live in a sh1te country, with a sh1te government, sh1tey weather, and it's full of little sh1tes that run around shooting people because the police are sh1te!
Try and time it so the auction ends at about 7ish on a saturday or sunday. Start bidding at 99p. If there's still no action on the day it's due to end, get a friend to bid about 50% of what you want for it.