The water splash at the bottom of Jaggers Clough.

Raceface, having not had my balls squeezed in a vice(*) I’m struggling to find empathy.

* – the night is young…..

But Singletrackmind, I can almost see an advantage for you.

You’ve been wind surfing and need to change into normal clothes for the drive home. Isn’t it better to be the perfect human representation of Action Man in the sea front car park? Surely it must scare fewer children?

My dear Project, I find it awkward that this thread is now challenging my professional status….

So your answer to my question “where does it go?”, in your case it goes into a sock?

Let’s not get obsessed by soaked stoats people. All sorts of wildlife could be injured. Maybe even Chris Packham could get a nasty soaking.

But this thread is not about the morals or ethics of weeing on wilderness. It’s about the effect riding has on a gentlemans gentleman.

Surely no-one arrives home from a ride with a bigger one than when they started?

So I’m assuming most people find the cold air and tight, tight Lycra to be somewhat effective at reducing ones “impressiveness”.

But the question still remains, where does it go to?

No Chip, there’s no HRT shenanigans going on in Casa Swank. As for the woodbine, the good lady gave up smoking her pipe a few years ago now.

Tops 5 – this is why I worry about Ernie doing a pee in the wilderness. One single wee could seriously soak a stoat that was minding its own business nearby.

You do know there’s nothing solid in there, don’t you?

Let’s not go down that route….

Ernie, weeing in the outdoors is so uncivilised. Is there no way you could hold it in until you’re home?

I don’t wee when I’m riding?

Do you carry a portable toilet?

I didn’t try the cheese method Chip.

The issue isn’t so much that it vanished, the issue is where did it vanish to? It has substance, yet seemed to have vacated the area completely.

Is there a special pouch that no-one has told me about?

Downshep – that’s sort of what the good lady wife was so amused by this morning.

Her concern was “where’s it gone?”. And, to be fair, I wasn’t sure. Where do they go?

I have no shame Weeksy…..

So, which camp are you in?

I’m a tad surprised (should I be….) at the thoughts that the Police shouldn’t receive greater protection legally.

Take the scenario of someone breaking into your house intent to cause you injury. You call the Police, and instead of them running to the rescue, risking their own safety, they say “Well, you’re just one person Sir, if someone has to die it may as well be you”.

I doubt you’d be impressed.

If “full life” sentences were mandatory and it made people think twice about pulling a gun, or a knife, or whatever, on a copper, then it would be worth it.

He killed two policeman and was found guilty in relation to the murder of a third.

It sends, in my opinion, a poor message to society. If you murder a policeman it should mean LIFE imprisonment.

But then one assumes karma will prevail and he might fall down a set of stairs somewhere now he’s out…..

You can’t ignore the property side of things.

If person A has a mortgage and that mortgage leaves them £200 a month to live on and person B lives in rented (council provided or otherwise) and has £200 a month to live on – I fail to see a difference in their wealth.

Wealth and total value are very different things….

It does seem to be a ridiculously simplistic calculation. Quite what you’re supposed to derive from the figures is beyond me.

However, it did confirm that I’m fabulously wealthy.

Find a way of testing the bulb before you spend too much. Once they’re blown they’re bin fodder.

Great lights in their day though.

A split helmet just sounds too painful for words.

Wow. Wasn’t expecting quite so many replies.

I’ve just flown home from a meeting where the company and I have agreed to part. There’s a settlement, and I have my own financial background (which is mine, and mine alone to know).

I guess the imp inside was interested in knowing if I had to work again. I don’t mind working again, and I probably want to, but it’s nice to know you have options.

I’d be quite happy to sell Chez RSwank for a cheaper place and live there.

List of variables. I was just keen to hear people’s experiences / thoughts/ musings. I do like the trappings of life though, and this is my biggest concern. Am I ready for a quiet and sober existence…… No.

Depends on generation really?

Manic Miner in the early days for its ground breaking nonsense (getting eaten by a toilet was very funny in the 1980s).

I thought Flashback was amazing on the Megadrive for its zany plot.

Goldeneye on the N64 was awesome as was Perfect Dark.

BUT, the best Videogame (which I appreciate is different from computer game) is Zelda, the Ocarina of Time.

If you have to have a computer game, it’s Half-Life Episode 2.

I’ve got a Lyrik on my Alpine. It’s ace!

Suits the bike perfectly.

Half life

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Cos he needed a pooh.

No, he knows what he did wrong.

The documentary is intended to make him look regretful and human. It fails…..

Welwyn or Welwyn Garden?

In Welwyn the Wellington has rooms.

In WGC there’s a decent Premier Inn. Or try Tewinbury Farm if you’re feeling more flush.

I’ll park in Bracknell and ride over if needed.

Thanks for the info.

The original statement is probably based on census data. It seems to me that when people in the UK aren’t religious they tend to say they’re CofE.

So Cameron is probably saying Britain doesn’t care about religion in the main…..

And the comments above about Pagan crossover aren’t entirely true. The Christians didn’t steal the festivals, they just chose to celebrate the life and death of a key figure using the same dates to avoid confusion.

You’re born. You live a good life. You die. Done.

Can someone explain why people get married for reasons other than beliefs?

Doesn’t a good will / solicitor sort any legal issues?

If gay people want to tie themselves together in the same way hetero couples do, and then spend a small fortune undoing it in the future, then good on ’em.

It does though, for me, smart a little or parity for the sake of it.

And I’m as camp as a row of pink tents and have swung in various directions in my time on this planet before I get called a homophobe

Well bikes are very personal things. What I might hate, you might love…..

But I hated my Alpine. The BB was too low. It was too heavy with little reward (and I had a DH bike at the time that I would forgive that). And it climbed badly.

I sold it and brought a Five which goes up MUCH better and down pretty much as well as the Alpine. And I have a BottleRocket for when I want to go mad (and the BR is much better mannered on the trail and up hill).

I love Orange bikes. Had a sub5, a patriot, a five and a sub zero. All great. But I really felt the Alpine was the blot on the copy book – it seems a concept without a need…..

£15?

Buy three scratch cards and leave them lying around in the street.

Then keep your eyes peeled for big winners being mentioned in the local news.

It’s called suicide lottery.

He was a good rider. Fit and committed XC rider who could also hit the DH courses hard. Very sad. Sympathies to his family 🙁

Rode with him in the Alps a few years back. Nice guy and awful news 🙁

I have a Berlingo van (Bingo) and have just sold a 2.0 TDCI Mondeo. If it had to choose just one (Bingo is a cheap bike van) it’d be the Mondeo every day of the week,

The boots are cavernous and they drive really well. Bingo is slow and unrefined.

Swapped the Mondeo for a Focus as the Mondeo was too big and I didn’t need a diesel anymore.

It’s a way of keeping riff raff out.

It is a lot of money though, but it’s about how much you value something. I’ve tickets to this which friends think is sensible and also weekend tickets to Sonishpere the weekend before – which at £168 makes my mates think I’m nuts. Yet I get Prodigy, Iron Maiden and Metallica PLUS shit loads of others for £168.

I guess it depends who you look at money innit.

I didn’t think that the price for PJ at the MK bowl was too bad – good venue, great band, great night out…..

Clearly he thought he was Robin Hood – some kind of champion of the people.

Glad he’s no longer sponging off a society he’s never done anything for. Why we ever let him back in is beyond me.

Santa. Jesus. It’s all the same.

My parents would put out a potato for the reindeer and a sherry for santa each year. In the morning the potato would have bite marks in it and the sherry would be gone. Santa? No, my parents.

Same with Jesus. Feeding of the 5,000 – that wasn’t Jesus, it was Mary and Joseph cashing in club card vouchers to make the grub go further.

Parents will do anything to make us believe……

83%

But then Mother answered for me

I’ve spent it alone a few times. No biggie.

It depends whether it’s your choice or whether your just terminally unpopular (I go for a mix of both).

This year I’m going to a mates for lunch so I don’t even need to cook. But in the past I’ve been happy enough cooking myself a tasty lunch, drinking some nice vino, and watching crap on telly.

I’m not Christian, I don’t have kids. These seem to be the two main divers for a big Christmas. To me it’s just an annoying day when no shops are open and you can’t get much done.

I find mine harder to play than my guitar – but I’ve got fat fingers so the smaller frets/neck are harder for me to work around.

Any music shop will sell you one for about £30. Or Ebay as loads of people buy them thinking they’ll learn and then sell them six months later…….

(buy a guitar instead!)

I think the moral of the tale is read the label not look at the colour. I’m a total OCD anal freak with all things cleaning and I’d never trust a washing powder/liquid without reading the label first.

Oh, and fabric conditioner is much worse for water proof fabrics than detergent/powder/soap.

And finally, and I prepare to be flamed, if you’re going to spend a lot of money on waterproofs why wash them in the cheapo Tesco stuff? Aldi clothes, Aldi liquid. Proper stuff, spend some money looking after it.

And finally, it’s designed to look like Aerial liquid. Which is purple, not blue….

I can put the ladies from How Clean is your House to shame but – getting deoderant stains out of clothes is even beyond my skillz….

Once they’re stained they usually end up being relegated or binned.

Buy deoderants that are formulated to minimise staining – they do seem to help.