You can get proper bags for this kind of thing to stop your washing machine dying. Horse tack shops sell them as horsey types like to wash all manner of nonsense without getting horse hair everywhere.

They’re nothing more than a thick pillow case with a zip mind.

Dettol and Biological powder will help. High temps may just mong the shoes.

But – you could always just put up with it. Smelling like a mouldy tramp is what makes us men……

I have a Ukelele and it is fun.

Basically it’s the D, G, B and E strings from a guitar – but D is an octave higher.

So in theory you can play guitar chords on them and get a half decent tune out (if you know your guitar chords). BUT – there are specific Ukelele chords that sound better.

They come in different sizes so go and try. I have tree frog fingers so needed a fairly big one.

Having said all of that – I prefer my guitars…..

But – they do make an amusing aside (and they’re cheap).

It is a shame there aren’t better procedures in place to support this kind of thing.

A colleague passed away recently after a nasty accident (she was left brain dead).

She was essentially taken to a hospice and left to starve to death – it took 8 weeks. That was the ‘humane’ choice offered by the surgeon treating her.

Her family had to watch the physical delay whilst dealing with the fact she was mentally gone.

This is where the individuals choice has nothing to do with it (unless pre-expressed in a living will). The surgeon allowed her to die, but would not assist her on her way.

And – all of this was in Switzerland…..

It was a good TV show but I felt sorry for the couple at the end. Perhaps if cameras had not been there they might have had a more personal good-bye.

Creosote or diesel sprayed in the area will work.

I’ve had major wasp traumas in my current house (it’s in Stevenage so even the wasps carry knives).

They will return to an area where they can ‘smell’ a nest. Move the nest you knocked down outside and likely is they’ll follow it. Let them get settled and the BURN them (on the basis that nuking the from orbit, whilst effective, isn’t an option for most of us.)

I’m confused…..

I’ve always trusted the american media to say the truth. They sent 70 odd troops to ‘arrest’ him and apparently shot him twice in the head.

70 Navy Seals and they only managed to hit him twice! OK, so that’s believable.

But why not photos of his body? We saw Saddam being hung (hanged) so why no youtube video of this one?

As for jokes. Let me think……

How many americans does it take to change a light bulb?

Lots – it’ll take them 10 years to find it in the first place.

I had very early M4s and hated them. They were leaky nasty things that weren’t really up to the job of stopping a fat man.

Are the calipers silver as they could be E4s (Enduros) – I’ve seen these listed as early M4s before. I had some E4s and they were much better then the M4s.

It looks like Black Nest in Virginia Waters……

DOH!

I liked my Jag. It was a nice place to be. It had nice toys and drove nicely. It was nice.

BUT

The boot was tiny – I couldn’t get any bikes in there without significant dismantling.

And servicing is appallingly expensive.

I have a Mondeo now, and whilst it makes me feel all common and dirty driving it, it does make more sense as a bike carrier.

Brian Lumleys Necroscope series (but just the first five books)

Corratec TeamBow

Proper gorgeous 🙂

It isn’t possible to make a jelly that is self-supporting more then 18 inches tall.

You’re more likely to be kicked to death by a donkey then die in an aircrash.

The average length of the male, er, member is 4 inches. Sex on average lasts 4 minutes. Intercourse is, on average, done at a rate of 30 strokes per minute. So an average shag covers 40 feet. So you’d, on average, need to do it 132 times to cover a mile.

That’s the fella – thanks 🙂

Photos?

I used to be a Tory back bencher.

My ex’s sister’s mate once met Status Quo.

I worked for a company owned by a man whose daughter was in one of those Aviva ads.

Both of those have failed to get me tables at good restaurants 🙁

You need to follow the instructions. Not doing so can be either dangerous or mean the drug won’t work.

I went out – my front gear cable ‘burst’. I rode home using only the granny ring 🙁

Look at the form card.

Think about the dogs last four races, where did it place, and how strong a finisher is it.

Take only cash and stick to your limit.

And drink beer.

Dog racing is fun.

I know where there are some swans. Has anyone got a toddler I can borrow?

I’ll report results back later 🙂

To be fair to TJ – some patients don’t want to know side effects of drugs – especially chemo.

It has such a poor reputation (not always deserved) that people would rather not know that it might make them sick, hair fall out, teeth fall out etc.

But I guess it doesn’t hurt for you to know – so you can keep an eye out for her.

I’d phone the clinic and ask to speak to the oncologist.

Talk to the doctor (and, no, not me).

Chemo is generally quite personal – so they’ll give your mum a dose which they think will do it, and different clinics use different cocktails (of both chemo and anti-emetic drugs).

Some chemo targets only the cancerous cells too so there are fewer side effects.

Too many variables I’m afraid to give you a solid answer.

Good luck to your mum 🙂

To be honest that sort of damage could be caused by running into me – I am fat.

My decree absolute came through a year ago today.

Haven’t stopped smiling since 🙂

You could put a column of “1” all the way down and just sum this. The sum corrects depending on the autofilter.

Lol.

So I won’t be doing it in a day with him then.

I found it hard enough over two days and that was ten years ago!!!!

Right then everybody back to one half litre water bottle and iodine drops, local motion frame packs and ICMB sized zefal pumps – suffering is the new riding. No custom cycling cothing and back to toe-clips you lot.

I’ve emailed the OED and asked them to use the above as the definition of the word Uniform 😉

My ’03 Patriot 🙂

or

My MKI Prince Albert

Oddly enough these (old) bikes are the only two I’ve stuck with over the years – and NOT broken…..

:sheepish:

I was on business in Germany many years ago. We got a bit ratted on the local dark beer and ended up in the hotel bar very late.

It seemed a good idea to order a brandy, and, being drunk, we ordered the “best they had”.

Baaaaad choice. It was £45 a measure – and we just necked it in one……

I remember having a very bad hangover the next day and needing to crimp the worlds worst fart in whilst meeting the global head of my department.

For whisky – my ex-wifes dad had some lovely stuff. He’d brought a share in a barrel and it was gorgeous. The distillary were suggesting a price of £150 a bottle.

– crikey is well versed and expert in these matters

There is no need for the average STWer, chubby IT manager type, insert stereotype of your choice, to be carrying 3 litres of water for what is realistically a hour or so of exercise and 40-60 minutes standing about chatting about coffee machines or which razor to buy.

You’re right TJ. Now I re-read it he does sound professional 🙂

I regularly ride a loop in the Peaks that is about 5 hours and has no water stops / pubs / villages, all on a bike with no bottle mounts.

I’ve ridden for years and used to take just water bottles (on a different bike) and put up with feeling crap with dehydration. Now I’d rather feel good throughout the ride.

It’s not a uniform – it’s a necessity for me to have water, tools etc so I’m not reliant on others – because lets face it TJ – you can’t be everywhere to save us……

You need to read crickeys post on the other thread to understand why you don’t need 3 l of water in this country for the riding most of us do – a few hours around the woods and fields

Cool TJ. You’re saying that (in a thread written by a non-expert (apologies to Crikey if he is) professional athletes and road riders don’t need 3l of water.

Thanks for bringing that to a discussion about mountain biking amongst amateurs.

I’ve burned my back pack in favour of a support team driving along behind me in a Skoda.

Sorted.

Take some old tyres and put them on.

Get it dirty.

Tell customs you brought it cash, 2nd hand (in the UK) and have no reciept.

Done.

All of it?

Keep the limit on motorways at 70.

If they raise it they take away the thrill of breaking it……

Your reward… fancy a line?

Yes, but I’ll be using a razor blade to make sure it’s super fine first.

But then I guess I’d worry about the flacidity of the septum:scrotum interface. I’d hate to sniff in and give you a scrotal hernia by vacuuming up a few too many wrinkles.

“Why do mountain bikers carry back packs?”

Because we’ve made a choice and expressed the preference to do so 🙂

I’ve no bottle cage mounts on my frame – so I’ve no choice either.

As for the comments about “uniform” – lol. People tend to follow good ideas…. TJ – I do worry that you seem to hate almost every other mountain biker out there.

I don’t get it.

Surely talcing your man forest is simply going to make it look like some dandys wig from the French revolution?

However, if I were going to, I’d probably suggest coke. It’d certainly give a different meaning when dropping your trousers and looking a lady in the eye and saying “blow”…..

For crying out loud, here we go:-

Fish cake – a PROPER fish cake is two slices of potato with a slice of fish in between, battered and fried.

Captain Birdseye fish cake – some nasty product invented by the frozen food industry as a way of using fish eyes, lips and nipples. Mashed so that you can tell it’s a cods ring piece you’re nibbling on.

Bread ‘buns’ are called bread cakes by the decent folk in this world. Having said that you’d not put a proper fish cake in a bread cake – just not done….

And scone is pronounced the same as stone.

I grew up between Leeds & Wakefield, every chip shop sold something called a “fish cake”.
It was two slices of potato, with a layer of hish (haddock, usually) in between, dipped in batter & deep fried. A meal in itself.

THAT is a fishcake. Proper northern grub. This is what Sheffield fish cakes are like anyway.

Dialled Bikes Kobi Ti (not sure if that’s spelt right….)

Er, depends on what you’ve asked for doesn’t it?

Wrapped (to take home – which, by the way, makes your car really stink for weeks) – here the S&V should be put on by the spotty, greasy haired oik serving you.

Open (to scoff in the street, so looking like you’re either unemployed, from Stevenage, or both) – here the S&V should be applied by yourself.

It is always salt first, vinegar second whichever of the above scenario is being played out.

Vinegar must also be put onto mushy peas.

End of discussion.