It’s worth a watch. ‘Only two kinds will like it steers and queers and I don’t see any horns on you boy.’

Sorry chum, wasn’t that long ago I had to hold my old boy while the dappy women vets who couldn’t lift him stuck the needle in. I know your pain.

Magpies are responsble for the death of lots of young birds, you may or may not have noticed there are lot more of them about these days, time was you”d salute them with a Hi Mr Magpie hows your mrry wife today, so infrequent they were, the one for sorrow two fo joy ryhme very rarely got to ‘boy’ yet frequently we get six in our garden.
Even the dawn chorus has quietened, we live right at th edge of town enjoyed birds of all descriptions in our garden, but sadly they are now a rarity, no doubt there are other factors, but it does seem a coincidence that there are now so many magpies. I’ve even considered buying and air rifle to attempt my own pathetic balance redress local to my hedgerows during spring when they attack the nests and steal eggs.

I think there are too many to single out, of all types, i did start a list initially as a gag then as an aide memoir to remind me who to steer clear of, (left wing cocks etc) CFH did make it onto the good guys bit I note along with 31 others, trouble is you can never remember who made you laugh most and why, so it’s tough to call, easier to highlight the dickheads.. (only 5 of them so far)

Total cringe, and I’m normally a fan, had to flick the switch..

Having once been captured by aliens and in between the fun sex experiments they conducted on me they explained all this, so lets see if I can remember.

1st Time.. time doesn’t actually work the way we think it does, simply because at the moment we use our own terms of reference for it, as we also do to measure speed, which are all calculated based on ‘earthly’ matters speed being referenced to our perception of time and distance which in Universal concepts are wrong.

2nd Gravity.. Gravity isn’t actually what we think it is either, and the way they explained it to me was kind of two levels the first an inverse and opposite force to centrifugal that we know, the other level is an inter dimensional pull which occurs when matter totally collapses upon itself, reverses and becomes the other thing (anti matter).

So light becomes anti-light to use a term you’ll understand (it’s probably something else, but anti light travels equally fast but into the other direction) now the word direction here is wrong, think of it as another position on the radio frequency dial that we don’t tune into.

So the answer to the question is of course yes simply because we’re measuring it all wrong.

Fill it right up with diesel, is what I did when I made the same error filling the bread knifes car.

I’m told they suggest a small amount of petrol in diesel isn’t a bad thing in very cold weather, stops it freezing.

How big is your tank, I guess is a relevant question, re ratio of petrol to diesel, somewhere I read 5% isn’t a problem, but don’t quote me, it was t’internet so probably wrong or wishful thinking..

I’d be inclined to ask someone who knows (but isn’t going to profit by stripping your tank out).

I do hope all those atheists are doing the decent thing and working so we God fearing types can enjoy the birthday of our Lord 😉

I’ve enjoyed both minor success and major failure in equal measure, life has a habit of sending me swerves, if for one moment I get the feeling I’m on top then for sure the very next day it’ll bite me in the bum, so I try not to consider myself anything other than an ordinary bloke struggling along with the rest against the evils of the world, Lawyers, Politicians & Bankers. (Especially the ones that consider themselves successful).

It’s a small fortune to pay for what they’ll probably get, some halfwit out of Uni that can’t spell will have little idea of the real world and its costs and deadlines.

If it were down south it would be an internship with folk queing up to pay for the experience, they’re very generous imv.

We used to use students from the very best college in St Gallon Switzerland, they’d come over, work a year just for board and keep and we’d learn stacks from them. Their typography was streets ahead of anything we were into.

So for that job the queue should stretch all the way down here and the lucky applicant should be prepared to work their balls off – but they wont, they’ll expect all the usual bullshit brit employees want and get that bit of lead on a string swinging..

Top Gear, the one with Cruise & Whatsername..

+1 Blakes 7, really miss it.

amedias – Member
I’d never heard of Talas forks
really , must have been living in a cave for the last 5 or 6 years then…

Nope, just not really that interested until recently, not everyone is a total nerd when it comes to bikes. I find it amazing just how many anoraks there are in this world, still haven’t quite got my head round it all.

I kind of get it, even at the start of this thread I’d just assumed they went all the way up or down, didn’t realise they were pre-set to various fork lengths, I guess they must cost considerably more than my floats I shall google in a minute and see. I do hope IMBender doesn’t turn out to be correct after all.

So this forum has served a useful purpose other than entertainment at last..

yunki – Member
what did you object to in the post though..?
the bare flesh, the obesity or the disrespect to the queen..?

disrespect to the queen of course, she’s still someones grandmother after all..

Edit, in hindsight I wouldn’t have reported the post if I’d known the outcome.

sweaman2 – Member
Yes – I have them 100-120-140 32mm and yes I use them quite a lot. 100mm for the long climbs; 120 for twisting singletrack; 140mm for steep downs. Currently contemplating a new bike (frame is an old ETS-X) and wondering actually what new frame works best with 100-140mm Talas.

Well according to IMBman then it’s the Bandit, then again every bugger is telling me Bandit right now and I’m sick of hearing it..
I’ll stick some on my Covert instead, just to piss them off, not that it needs them imv.

yunki – Member
hi Derek… thanks for the ban the other day BTW..

I’m really really sorry if I caused that, I wasn’t happy about the post, but I’d never ever expect anyone to get banned over it, my sincere apologies, as it happened they got me with a two day ban over something that to me seemed fairly trivial later that day so God & the Goderators evened things out for you.

As for the Talas thing, I’m still not convinced, I think if it were operated by a little lever on the bar a la uppy downy seat post, I might switch to them, I think it was that bender on IMBIKE Mag, he rides round here and I bump into him on occasion, was cracking on about them in reference to the Bandit in a review in their mag, that started the conversation, I’d never heard of Talas forks, that Bandit climbs well enough anyway, you’d have to be a total ‘tard to need forks that adjust to make it climb imv.

I’m kewell like that..

Wimmen run after me in the streets..

There goes that kewell dude with the awesome bike they cry..

There is no greater pleasure than a ride with the boys and a couple after..

There are often consequences and there will follow a few choice examples…

steezysix – Member
That mudguard makes me feel sick. I know it’s winter, but c’mon…

It completes the aesthetics of the bike imv and being a trained designer I know about this stuff, so practicalities of mud brown skid marks up trouser arse of work clothes aside, I’d fit them anyway, I had them on all summer long.

Other riding folk constantly accuse me of the love that dare not speak its name on STW, but I don’t care, so vomit away, the mudguards stay..

A great man once said something about having any colour as long as it’s black..

I had a go on an Intense one time down in Alpe D’huez, it was a nice bike, not sure what model it was though, and nothing feels as nice as your own bike, once you make it your own and put nice mudguards, lights and shit to heavy it right up..

I doubt there will be enough in just wedding photography, given they happen once a week there’s only one of you, so the best you’ll get is one a week, check the sums to see if you can live on it, plus they don’t happen every weekend. (I once eked out an existence as a jobbing Photographer, back in the days you used to have to know stuff before you could be one).

You’ll need to consider other things, Christenings, Portraiture, nowadays work with a ‘makeover’ place, then you’ll need to do what we used to call spivving, going to social functions taking everyone’s pics and getting them up on a board whilst they’re still in the room and hope that they’re pissed enough to order at the end.

There’s an Art to good wedding photography and a procedure, a good photographer runs the back end of a wedding, do the groups as well as the happy snap catch em unaware crap, I used to use at least a medium format stand camera for the groups and a 35 mil for happy snappy..

So having said all that with digital, photoshoppy and a bit of imagination, no reason you can’t give it a go, (just excuse my cynicism) and take the guys advice about the web shop and doing as much prep as possible whilst you’re still employed..

Personally I would avoid Sage like the plague, it gets recommended by every accountant simply because they know it, I looked into it extensively just before the millennium then went with something else entirely, but nowadays with inter web, there are cloud solutions (light speed I seem to recall wasn’t bad) and many of the web shop systems offer stock control and purchasing functionality, with the ability to spit out what you need for an audit trail, & nominal ledger.

The bike game is or was full of Epos systems that did the same, there must be bespoke Epos and Web backends that can do what you need, just don’t get into Sage it’s the most clumsy code heavy bloated piece of software crap known to man. Didn’t even work out the correct discount level for VAT after settlement discounts last time I looked.

yunkl.. I’m sorry chum, never reported a bloody forum post in my life before, but ffs.

Two years is old enough but you have to build them up to do distance, same as the rest of us, it’ll be a little stiff for a day or two is all. I’ve been taking mine out everyday since we had him, but didn’t do any distance with him until he was eighteen months gone, now I swear he could run all day and not bat an eyelid.
Mines a dobey by the way, never buy one, nothing but trouble although he was good today, he’s 22 months now and beginning to do what I tell him some of the time, if he’s got nothing else he’d rather do of course.

Was a bit parky, slippy slidey and overcast, four of us out with the dog, couple of guys getting back into it after a layoff, good ride and a laugh as always..

I’m crap at riding downhill, so I bought an all Mountain 6″ travel bike with slackish angles but still trail ridable and went to see the Smiley Dude at UKBikeskills, I’m still crap, but I’m not as scared and take stuff rather than the chicken runs. more often than I used to.

Do the jumps and drops course, he’s got this course that goes over rocks, round berms, with hits & drop offs in easy levels that increase with your confidence, you don’t get to ride the entire course til he thinks you’re ready.

Seriously better pay him first it’ll make you better whichever bike you ride, just don’t let him convince you it’s to do with his bottle rocket – nasty bike I couldn’t ride it – er apparently because I’m a girl or should have been.

outraged – Member
Christ. Derek/Fred – why not bum him?

Can we? Do you think he’ll let us? Make a change from sheep which is all I’ve even got close to lately in that regard.

Nah.. Rose tinted specs, I drive a new one, the big ****, it rocks.

All those years under them I even had a Wolsley Hornet, the posh one, it still rusted, ripped thru front tyres, span off in the wet, we even parked the office minivan in a florists window one Christmas eve.. A lot of fun at the time, but the new Kraut minis are so much better.

Elfinsafety – Member
I don’t know who theprawn is.

Don’t you?

Hah even I know who he is and I’ve been here less time than you..

I’d get used to being called that name they call female dogs from now on, cos for sure you’re going to end up his.

Got the kite and a snowboard ready to go.. All the excuse I need..

Funny only the other day we were putting a load of the old kids books up in the loft, the bread knife not wishing to chuck them away cos of the memory’s they hold for us, each of the kids had a favourite they’d demand read over and over.
It’ll be the grandchildren next she said… Nah said I, grand kids if and when they come will have ebooks, probably won’t even have to read them, they’ll just plug right on in. They’ll have digital ipaper for pictures nobody will need to read the info will get delivered as a memory. You never know what’s coming. But they’ll probably not need these books ever again.

I love Lady GaGa she’s a latter day Madonna. Catchy tunes interesting lyrics, I ride with her a lot.

I end up in some cheap shit hole called the Jurys Inn, mainly because it’s a walk from the Hatton Cross tube.

It’s a bed and a shuttle at O’Christ Hundred hours and less than 60 quid..

I should add.. I ‘kin hate Heathrow.

Every day I ride approximately 250 mtrs of single lane highway in traffic, from the paper shop, with one hand steering and the other trying to reign in a mental doberman which must be about the most powerful doberman on earth, it’s uphill I don’t pedal, I have only the front brake which is on constantly until I reach the turn off into the bridle way which leads back home.

Generally I’m screaming at him to stop.

He doesn’t.

TandemJeremy – Member
Its so funny watching you guys here – “fog in channel – continent cut off”.

Er it’s wind today actually and operation stack is likely for the 2nd time this week.

Then if it isn’t wind it’s French Fishermen blockading Calais, or French technicians Industrial action with the Tunnel.

It’s so frequent it rarely even gets reported.

As for you other comment about us not having a card to play, er I think you’ll find we have over 60 going on 70 million of them and each and every one of them buys something that comes from Europe very regularly.

France has run a deficit for longer than I can remember, they are also a basket case, it’s just attention hasn’t really focussed on them yet, but it will, wasn’t it one of their banks about to fail during the Chancellors Autumn Statement?

Anyway they’re just as **** as the rest of Southern Europe and should be parcelled up with the PIGS and head up a Euro 2 which then gets devalued.. Put all the rotten apples in one basket rather than have them dragging the Germans down and influencing them the way they are right now.

Scotch & Cloves..

Which reminds me, Xmas is coming, must get some more alcoholic cloves in.

Zulu-Eleven – Member
So, basically TJ, all the people who are currently slating Cameron’s approach seem to rely on the continued existence of a cosy relationship with the EU for their job, expense package and positions of power – interesting that

Funny to see certain MEP’s suggesting that they should restrict our rebate, when we’re net contributors to the EU coffers of about 6 billion a year…

Just think TJ – if we kept that six billion, there would be no need for domestic budget cuts
+1

Sadly, none of us can continue to afford the whole bloody EU experiment, there are hundreds of thousands suffering to keep technocrats in their unelected office on board the Gravy Train, it’s over, done, it has to be reformed, this is the first stage. If they don’t then there will be a bloody Southern European spring on a scale that’ll make the Arab spring look like a tea party.

Pigface

Allthegear