Mate,
I echo what ton and many others have said.
Just over a year ago I was working in a highly pressurized environment that had a high attrition rate amongst colleagues. I’d managed to survive in this particular department for six and a half years where many other capable individuals lasted half this time. In retrospect, whilst I wasn’t sneering, I was very dismissive of those that couldn’t handle it anymore through stress because they often became task avoidant and ducked jobs leaving it to the rest of a small team to sort out their cases. They were seen as a burden and imposition to us. This view was soon to change.
It wasn’t until I exhibited many of the symptoms of stress (which I had recognized in the aforementioned) that I thought ‘hold on, this is happening to me – f*ck’. I suffered from colds, tonsillitis, lethargy, I couldn’t sleep and my personality had changed. I’d become very short tempered and critical of others. It reached a point where I approached my first line manager and requested an immediate move. My ego took a knock when I went to a department with considerably less kudos than the other but it was one of the best moves I made in my career. I felt far less stress, my personal relationships improved and it enabled me to concentrate on my promotion exams that I went on to pass. I accept I was fortunate in the sense I had an understanding employer, unlike your own by the sound of it.
I know my circumstances were different to yours but you’ve come to a similar crossroad. On occasions people just reach a point in their jobs/careers where they must take stock of things and re-evaluate what’s important. Stress can be massively deleterious to mind and body and casts many into an early grave each year one way or another. Divorces and alcoholism are synonymous with my line of work.
My advice to you would be to get out or at least start paving the way for another job change. I appreciate that when you have responsibilities and bills to pay that might be a tough pill to swallow and easier said than done but in my experience stress doesn’t just go away and you either have the personality to leave these feelings at work or you don’t. Personally I wasn’t able to and consequently it impacted on my private life resulting in nights where I would only sleep three to four hours and much of this was fractured.
One day you wake up and know, intrinsically know that this can’t go on anymore. Only you will be aware if you’ve reached that point.
I’d banish all thoughts of litigation with work if you have any. You will embroil yourself in further negativity. Move on.
All the best.
