Yeah, you know that hug you give your hot auntie with your bum slightly stuck out in case she can feel the semi in your troosers!! One of those should do it…

Did it not dawn on you when you got a taste of poo from his willy?

A mate’s missus once said to me she was very pleased with his A3 “Splashback”…no word of a lie!

Don’t worry, the highly paid Middle East Peace Envoy will sort it all out.

Though your hatred for all things red knows no bound Flash, even for you, that was a cheap shot.

I watched that documentary the other night about the Polish “Anne Frank” and while I understand the Israelis’ frustration with Hamas, you have to wonder, seeing the footage of Jews rounded up like animals in a ghetto, picked off at will often at the mere whim of the Nazis, do they not have any sense of irony (in no comedic form) when they stand back and take a look at their actions in Gaza.

While it is nowhere near “history repeating itself”, the state of Israel is committing war crimes but I fear, noone from any Israeli government will ever be held to account for it in The Hague.

Ask TJ, he’s always got great advice on what to do vis a vis dog ownership, and he’s a real enthusiast too!

I thought “evasion” was stealing. “Avoidance” is just something that people who can afford accountants do. If it’s to pay for fancy new wood floors, then I say go for it Alex. I’m back by the way so drop me a line and we can have a chat and a meet-up.

Don’t John Lewis offer 5 year warranties as standard on their TVs? They’ll match a high street price too (but not an internet one I don’t fink)

But you’d guarantee, no-one would ever be an arse over someone else’s dress sense, again.

I think the comment was taken in the spirit in which it was intended.

using sharp office equipment

I believe a paper cut may have been delivered using some A4

Wore just a short-sleeved shirt

A mate of mine started a job where all the blokes were a bit Nazi about what everybody wore. If you were a bit “underdressed” you’d better not have been the sensitive type. On one particularly hot day, he wore a short sleeved shirt with a tie to work. The first thing that was said to him was “Morning mate, where’d you park your bus?”. Now I’m not saying it was right to say this but it was bloody funny and I’ve never worn a short sleeved shirt with a tie since I heard it.

I wear a tie for interviews too

Well, in fairness, if you wear a tie, you might as well wear a suit. Things change and I know not a lot of people wear a suit these days but for an interview, I’d definitely wear one. I’ve been in situations where I’ve felt both overdressed and underdressed (Jeez, haven’t we all) and I know which feels a hell of a lot more embarrassing.

Oh and hello everyone, happy new year and all that. Just getting over the jetlag.