My mate Strava’d the ride if anyone wants to do it:

It’s called:

07/28/2012 Horton In Ribblesdale, North Yorkshire, United Kingdom

I’m not good enough technically to put it up as a URL, so hopefully you can find it.

Hi ChrisE,

We went NW out of Horton before picking up the Pennine BW. We used the western option (Long Scar) before dropping just to the east of Clapham. Then across to Wharfe – missing out Austwick before Giggleswick Scar and into Settle.

Out of Settle it was the NE option – Claypits and Langscar – all the way to the road above Malham Cove. Then picked up the start of Mastiles – turned SW down Smearbottoms before climbing to the Weets. Down from here to the Winterburn reservoir, then back up to Rylstone and across Rylstone Fell and Middle Hare Head.

A really good, ‘long-distance trucking’ kind of ride – nothing technically challenging, but a cracking day out nonetheless. I only had to resort to pushing up the Rylstone climb – lack of fitness more than anything else – I managed the climb out of Settle OK (I was quite chuffed with that). One of the lads pushed some of the Settle climb, but rode the Rylston one as far as the gate, so we called the climbing ‘evens’.

It’s always a bit hard to judge routes from descriptions – even in ‘official’ printed stuff. Some of the stuff towards Clapham was described as ‘rocky’, but as most of my proper MTB rides are done in the Dark Peak, so I was expecting ‘rear tyre buzzing seat of shorts’ steps, huge rocky slabs and coconut sized rock chutes!

Not that I was disappointed in the slightest – it’s good to mix up your riding, and a decent length hack across some moors was a great way to spend a day. I know there’s more techy stuff in the Dales (Old Cote Moor Top to Litton for example), but this was more of a ‘let’s see if we can do this’ sort of a ride anyway.

Cheers for the advice.

Thanks to everyone who posted advice – these were all fed into the route committee over a curry and a couple of pints on Friday night.

The final route ridden yesterday clocked in at 37.5miles with about 1,350m of climbing (from memory of what my mate’s Garmin said by the end). There was a bit of everything – my first ever sight of a kingfisher when I nipped for a slash before the start, sunshine, drizzle, rain, hail, sausage butties, a couple of near-mutinies and ultimately three very knackered 30-odd blokes who were already planning the next ride in the car on the way back!

Again – thanks for the help.

Don’t ever underestimate the ability of organisations to do things badly.

My boss is currently recruiting, we agreed the new structure with our departmental equivalents in the parent company (in effect our bosses), applied internally, then looked to fill the gaps that were left.

So, my boss starts interviewing and finds a couple of really good candidates – but guess what – because they were really good they were in demand, so we needed to act quickly. Fine. But then the HR department from the parent company deigned to take an interest at the eleventh hour and effectively put the whole thing on hold.

The more people are involved in anything, the more likely there is to be a balls up – particularly if they are playing the “I must say something about this as I am important enough to do so” game.

As with most things, the people who actually want to recruit you are not likely to be the problem – just like the people who answer the phone in the call centre at the bank aren’t – they’re just the people who get to deal with all the crap.

Thanks for the recommendations – I’ll feed them into the route committee :-)

I am really looking forward to this little outing now – my work has gone absolutely turbo in the last fortnight and I can’t wait to have a crack at ‘Boys Own’ point-to-point.

spooky b329

I only briefly mentioned the house insurance thing as an aside.

The cabinet had the majority of a new dinner service in it. It not only took out the microwave, but also put a hole in the wood floor and gouged a groove in a wooden work surface.

There was also a strip light attached to the bottom of the cupboard – the flex attached to this ripped a load of tiles off of the wall as well.

If people can claim for a new carpet when they’ve just been damn clumsy (or chucked wine over it deliberately), I’m sure as hell going to claim for something totally random like this!

I’m not at all sure what the situation is – not good, but true.

I don’t think it is a main as such – perhaps a spur as above. I have not noticed any drop in pressure – we have a combi boiler, so I guess it would be more obvious because of this(?)

The house is old – c. 90 years, so we could be in trouble with cracked or collapsed lead pipes here.

The leak was first noticed by the plumber when he was doing something – he was behind the washing machine, and could hear a very faint hiss – other than that I don’t know.

The plumbing on our house seems to be ‘interesting’ to say the least – the plumber kept saying things like “yes, that works, but it’s not the way it would be done nowadays” etc.

Home insurance again – aaaaargh! In February, my daughter and I were watching the start of Italy v England in the Six Nations and one of our kitchen cabinets just fell off the wall, onto the microwave before detonating on the kitchen floor. We’ve only just settled this with the insurance – yet they pay out in no time to people who chuck a glass of wine over their carpet because they want a new one!!!!

They also played the game about some very large old trees in our neighbour’s garden – hinting that it might invalidate the insurance before tapping us up to renew with extra cover as a result, whilst holding the existing claim over us.

In one way, I hope it’s not the old lady next door – she’s constantly being messed aroung by tradesmen – the best scenario is that it is under the outside of the house…….

Hayes Stroker brakes always had me having a bit of a ‘Finbarr Saunders’ moment as well.

bwaarp.

The ‘illegal’ stuff is not really the stereotypical trails that only a few people know about in some rich blokes woodland – it is more footpaths and specifically ‘no bikes’ stuff that can get you into an altercation.

Think Bradgate Park – highest point to lowest point? Beacon hill – same.

You get the idea. Just be there late or early and you should be fine.

The stuff over near Whitwick – especially Cademan and Gracedieu has some really quite good bits in it – and a less snotty attitude.

By the way, I didn’t encourage you to do any of this – I don’t want a trolling off a load of people who live in areas that are great for riding and can afford to keep to bridleways and waymarked trails.

Oh and one more thing about cycling in Leicester – Julie’s Cycles – what a laugh. I’ve met random riders on two separate occasions in the Peaks and Pennines and got chatting – they were still familiar with this shop – don’t go there! They are condescending, cliquey and generally unpleasant and they try to flog all sorts of mis-sized or inappropriate stuff to newbies. I cannot think of a good word to say about the place.

I also agree that Curries in Broadford are generally superior to Leicester (if you go mainstream), but there are some cracking curryhouses in Leicester anyway.

I live near Leicester and the first thing I would say is try to be ‘billeted’ out of the city, but on a train line.

There is good(ish) MTBing to be had, but you need to ride the naughty stuff early to avoid being chased by rangers (aka the fun police). You can string together a reasonable 60% offroad route of 20 miles in Charnwood Forest if you don’t mind riding footpaths and outrunning rangers in landrovers (anyone local knows where I am talking about). I can do a 110m height gain climb pretty much out of my front door, where there’s hills, there’s thrills – you just have to avoid people who want to clamp down on any form of enjoyment at all.

I have to agree with the ‘casual violence’ quote, though. I often said to my uni mates when we went out in Newcastle that there were lots of scuffles in the Bigg Market, but that they were almost governed by some unwritten code, in Leicester, there would have been at least ten people involved.

I’ve been out on the lash in countless towns and cities in Britain, and the only place I’ve been that’s more intimidating is Oldham. You know, that kind of ‘there’s something bubbling under the surface in this place and it’s going to kick off’ feeling you get.

On the plus sides, though – very, very good for a curry and all manner of indian food and the best rugby team in the country!

The real problem is there is still no definitive test for r-EPO. The testing and assessment regime is circumstantial evidence only.

You have to face it, they were all on something mid-nineties to mid-noughties. Those that weren’t didn’t win anything.

When one of the senior officials of the TdF says openly – if you want a Tour raced at 25kph rather than 15kph, then the athletes must ‘prepare’ – it’s pretty obvious carte blanche (just don’t get caught). BTW I probably haven’t got the quote 100% right, but read ‘Bad Blood’ and you can do your own research.

Lance was/is just better protected and orgainsed than the others that have been caught. Simple.

Only saw the second half – looked a really entertaining game.

Is it just me, or have every team I’ve seen (other than Sweden, luckily) made me think “they’d cause England trouble”?

The only crap game I’ve seen so far was England-France.

What England needs is one (ideally two) players who are just comfortable on the ball IN AREAS THAT MATTER. Anyone can look good stroking easy passes in their own half whilst going nowhere – but if you look at some of the first touches in the Poland-Russia game, they are in a different class from ‘Lead Boots’ Milner and co.

A decent first touch leads to more time and space, more time to weigh up the options, better balance to beat a player etc. Why can’t England players be confident on the ball in the last third?!

Paul Simon – Rhythm of the Saints

Tracks that fit the bill:

The Obvious Child

The Coast

Cheers for all the suggestions, I’ve settled on Forest Pines near Scunny for a Sunday-Monday break.

My brother-in-law is a golf pro and he really rates it – although he did say my golf game would sound like a woodpecker around all the trees!

330 yards off the tee, no problem – oh, you’ve got to hit it down that mown bit?

30 when our daughter arrived, 33 when our son was born.

Even beforehand, I was pretty sure I was ‘ready’. There were one or two ‘speeding truck’ moments before each of them arrived, but on balance, I feel like I’ve done it at the right time. The missus is three years older than me, so she felt that the biological clock ticking was getting a bit loud!

Wouldn’t change a thing – but second time around, it’s amazing how much you forget – apparently our daughter’s cot was in the corner of her room (where our son’s now is) for the first six months of her being in that room. I have no recollection of this at all.

i was glad to see mcartney on the piano tbh, was a nice change to see him fingering something with more than one leg.

I work in an open-plan office. Can I please have some warning the next time someone posts something as funny as that?

I nearly spat my cheese and tomato sarnie out all over my desk, and the physical exhaustion caused by not being able to laugh myself has left me shattered.

Every once in a while something arrives out of the blue unexpectly and creases me – posh women saying ‘b***ocks’ or an unexpected trump.

Childish really, but sometimes that’s the only way to be…..

I find it interesting how the different standards and rules are applied/broken at different levels along the food chain, and basic expediency always seems to win through to the detriment of good taste.

Terry is heavily alleged to have used racist insults against Anton Ferdinand. The footage doesn’t leave much to the imagination – even if you can’t lip-read. Yet rather than say, “we can’t have this man in the squad with even the hint of this hanging over him”, it is argued as a kind of quasi civil rights case “you can’t exclude him until it is proven”. The irony of this is so tart, you can almost taste it. He then uses the ONLY possible schoolyard defence – “no Miss, you don’t understand, I was only saying to him not to worry because he isn’t really a black ****”. The whole thing is farcical. His track record speaks for itself, how he was still in the squad before all this kicked off is beyond me.

Then you have UEFA who claim a zero-tolerance to racism. Yet they implcitly admit there is a problem in Poland / Ukraine by touting their tournament as an ‘opportunity for them to address certain cultural issues’ or somesuch other management-speak dross.

I wish it were just Terry, but it isn’t. When Ashley Cole shoots someone with an airgun as a ‘prank gone wrong’ and then pays them to keep their mouth shut, no one seems to be all that bothered.

If I was the kid concerned, I would have taken his cash, signed whatever had been hastily drafted by Chelsea’s lawyers (or do they have multiple copies at the ready) and still grassed him to the police. That might have had some effect on Cole. As it is, problem gone away, no consequences, and ain’t it great being a footballer?

These people are paid over five times the average yearly wage PER WEEK, I do think a bit piety and self-control might be expected? And I don’t mean muttering occasionally about being ‘umbled’ when something happens.

As Mario Ballotelli asked:

“Why Me”

Answer: Because you’re a ****, no more, no less

I’ve had enough of this now – my bile is running low. No doubt something that happens over the next few weeks in Eastern Europe will top me up, though.

Maybe Hodgson favours Terry as our far-right ambassador in the Ukraine and Poland. From what I’ve seen, it looks like he’d go down a storm in Lviv – the ‘capital’ of Ukrainian nationalism. It some kind of nationalism as well, Ukraine being one of ‘those’ countries which have always has a mainstream far-right (along with Croatia and the Flanders part of Belgium and others).

Maybe the England team are going to arrive in open-top Mercedes with Terry stood bolt upright in the lead car, inspecting the supporters…..

Horse flies – nasty little bastards aren’t they.

I’ve had 2 or 3 courses of antibiotics to clear the bites up – that’s my main advice, get yourself to the quack ASAP, then get to the pharmacy and start taking the course. And finish it. If you’re really desperate, go to A & E or a walk-in centre – it’s a bit of time bomb you’re dealing with.

Just picture one of those time-lapsed petri dished with ecoli multiplying in it – that’s happening in your leg goddamit!

Apparently, the horse flies try to cut out a bit of your skin to take off and eat. In doing so, because they chew rather than ‘plug in’ like a mosquito, they chew all sorts of crap from themselves and the mud on your legs into the wound – meaning a nasty infection is a near certainty.

They also deliberately land on your clothes before crawling onto your skin so there’s less chance of you feeling them – evil, evil, evil.

If your legs are coated in mud from riding, it makes it even easier for the little sods.

Also, elevate your leg when possible to minimise the swelling, the absolute worst part is getting out of bed as the leg has time to settle, then you stand up, and it burns like a poker.

Good luck, and don’t worry about feeling silly at the doctors – they will write you a prescription in a flash for this as they recognise it is really nasty.

There’s a common denominator in all of this – the narrow eyed “ne’er do well” Terry.

He was a major disruption at the World Cup (although Bridge had already split up with the girl, but what Mrs Terry thinks is altogether more important). He has been disruptive at Chelsea for the last five or six years. He is poison, plain and simple.

He’s now succeeded in putting Hodgson in a fix. It was inevitable that one of the defenders would get injured, meaning that the decision to leave Ferdinand out would be exposed for what it is – a Terry-caused ‘political’ decision.

When will someone in Football stand up and say, I haven’t picked Barton / Terry etc because he’s a turd and he disgraces the shirt he plays in?

I think Typhoons would be great as well. They knocked out an awful lot of panzers in northern France after all…….. :-)

1 fishing catapult + dried peas + a good hiding place + patience + a steady hand = solution with the added bonus of being dashed good fun to boot.

Actually grey squirrels make better ‘game’ when they’re trying to destroy our bird feeders becuase they stop again about 30 – 40 metres away, giving me the opportunity to brush up on my long range shooting as well.

There’s something incredibly therapeutic about messing about with catapults again. :-)

I struggle with this climb – a lot. But then I’m not worried about it because I’m “saving my energy for the descent”. :oops:

I have seen someone ride all of this in bits and he was a fair bit less fit than he had been – he said he had done it all in one go and I believe him.

For a fit rider with a decent degree of skill, this climb should be doable more often than not.

I like to think I have some skill, but my fitness really won’t let me test this hypothesis.

Don’t stress about it – mountain bikers are pretty laid back when it comes to this sort of thing.

BTW – people who don’t think Jacobs is a good descent need to let go of the brakes a bit – I’ve only really got it together the last couple of times I’ve been down there, but I outpaced a lot of full-sussers on my HT – great fun, and a real jelly legged moment when you get to the bottom.

Samurai,

Sounds like you’re working in the wrong place, mate. I have had similar experiences and I think there are some common denominators:

Size of organisation – The larger the organisation, the more opportunity for people to advance without actually doing anything of any worth.

Culture of organisation – assuming a large % of the higher management have either blagged their way up, or got lucky with being recruited in from outside, this becomes a self-reinforcing cycle. Lots of people who really don’t know the ‘nuts and bolts’ seeking to look good rather than doing something of real worth.

Intrinsic value of organisation – believe it or not, there are companies and organisations that perform well in spite of their management teams – they have always had a good product and loyal customer, so there is actually little they can do to really balls it up. Of course, in such circumstances the management should really be looking to rationalise themselves – but I can’t remember the last time I saw turkeys voting for Christmas.

I used to work a FTSE 100 Plc Retailer. The opportunities for progress nearly always went to people who talked a good game. The main pre=requisites were a professional qualification (to protect the senior managers’ consciences if something went wrong) and then, basically, skillful self-promotion.

I took on a department from someone who had been moved up a ‘bright young thing’. I actually found that she’d papered over the detailed (but really important) problems, been economical with the truth to say the least, and associated herself with all the prestige stuff. Everyone who had worked alongside or under her knew her failings, but the brass neck approach seemed to work wonders.

If this all sounds bitter, it’s because I was at the time. It really is shocking. You just have to hope that sooner or later all the bluff and bluster catches up with them. But then it’s on a new company with a snazzy job title on your CV.

My advice is to move to a smaller organisation. More risky, perhaps, but the opportunities to actually do things of worth are more prevalent, because a greater proportion of the work will actually be of use to the organisation.

I moved to a medium sized retailer and have really enjoyed it. I’m not saying that it doesn’t sometimes really hack me off (today being a good example), but in the end, the vast majority of my prospects and dangers are now self-inflicted (and so under my control). Generally speaking, if I do good stuff my ‘stock’ goes up, waste time or produce crap and it goes down.

Your organisation sounds a bit rotten. If the very top of your board are not able to see it for what it is, it’s time to go. Not great timing right now, so maybe hang on for a bit if your organisation does OK in spite of the management, then at the first opportunity get out. If you’re of an IT background you can always offer yourself as a ‘consultant’ later :-)

It’s a reasonable percentage shot at best, it has to be against the right kind of off-spinner (the newer ‘wristy over the top’ type) rather than the more orthodox kind.

When it goes wrong (think 1st Ashes Test 2009 versus Nathan Hauritz), I would describe it more accurately as a tosser’s shot played like a tosser, by a tosser.

The man has so much talent it really has gone to his head. He’s like a dervish when he first goes in, fiddling about and playing about three different shots before the bowler has even let go of it.

I don’t think anyone ‘dreads’ seeing him come out to bat against them – it could be a ton or it could be another quick wicket. Not like when the real greats came out to bat.

Boycs may be a pain in the arse, but he is rarely wrong when it comes to batting. If you’ve got a decent defence first and foremost, everything else can come from that.

Old school, me:

663 Squadron
Chariots of Fire
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
The Magnificent Seven
Boogie Nights

My nearly 4 year old daughter is was also very scared and wary of animals, especially dogs.

The local park is often frequented by people who let their untrained dogs run around off the lead – when she was about two, she was run at by a big boxer that was off of its lead. After that she was mega-scared of any dogs. My in-laws bought a rough collie pup about a year ago – my daughter was very wary of him to begin with. Now, even though he is quite big, she is not scared – unless she is surprised by him, or he is particularly boisterous. I would say she is just wary now.

My advice would be to let your son have regular contact with one well-trained dog (if you can) and let him build a relationship – maybe help with training if the dog is young.

If you can get him to the point where he is being wary rather than scared, I would leave it at that – being wary is not necessarily a bad thing for kids. My one year old son has no fear of anything at the moment – it sounds great, but I am worried he is going to be too confident and get into trouble!

In no particular order, ahem:

dickweed
****
flid
pillock
no-mark
charver
scutter

These are just a choice few. I must remember to get these out in the near future……….

Mr Brain’s Faggots (these days they would have changed the ‘brains’ bit, but in the good ole days people just got on with stuff a bit more) :-)

Man, I just love the Peaks – just so much top riding to do!

The Edale – Mam Tor – Rushup – Roych – Coldwell – Snake – Kinderlow – Jacobs is a classic – only the top of Rushup and some bits around Kinderlow will be boggy.

You can also go up to Hollins from Edale, then off the ‘left-hand bridleway’ (which will be slippy) then over Jaggers Clough to the Beast or Blackley Hey and then Gores Farm to Ladybower and back via Bridge End and Jaggers again.

My ‘banker’ route in the Peaks is from the Heatherdene car park near the Ladybower Inn. Then ride Derwent Edge over from the pub. Loop back to the road bridge. Then Crook Farm, Hagg Farm, Wooler Knoll, Blackley Hey, Rowlee Farm, Lockerbrook (Gores). A sausage and bacon bap at Fairholmes then back over Whinston Lee Tor, finishing with steaming brakes in the front of the Ladybower Inn for a quick pint or lemonade or whatever. Cracking.

I would avoid Cut Gate after rain – there are bits that make you go hmmm if you tear them up with mtb tyres. Most of the other routes are mostly exposed rock, so no real problem there.

Wrong way around! In practice, will probably be OK, but why take the chance.

Just have a look at the way the ‘spokes’ angle into the ‘rim’. Imagine it’s made of stiff card – which way would you have to pull the rim harder for it to collapse – then you’ve got your answer.

An absolutely epic machine. I saw one at an airshow when I was abou 11 – it did a vertical climb from practically ground level – the noise was seismic.

I can heartily recommend the book ‘Vulcan 607’ if you haven’t read it. A brilliant tale of planning, execution, a lot of ‘amateur’ sticky taping and a slice of luck here and there. Cracking.

I love the jets of that 50s – 70s era – Vampire, Javelin, Victor, Vulcan, Valiant, Lightning etc – they looked straight out of the pages of Eagle or something similar.

Conan, you may have noticed (had you bothered to read it properly), that I didn’t specifically mention ‘illegal’ trails, although admittedly I do ride them.

Listen carefully, and you’ll hear the sound of someone being ‘holier than thou’ and making themselves look daft.

It’s about cowardly people who have an agenda, whatever the strict legal status of the trail – I’ve seen this done on plenty of bridleways as well – I’m not advocating trying to catch people in the act and ‘duff them up’ or anything like that (that’s up to the individuals concerned). All I’m saying is, let’s club together and clear the dangers so that hopefully these morons will give up and go away.

Generally speaking, I’m not too keen on graffiti.

However, twice recently I have driven past pubs advertising ‘Psychic Night’. The urge to add “I didn’t see that coming” was quite strong.

billysugger

I agree, you’ve got to be able to walk the walk if you talk the talk.

Always fun to pick off flashy full-sussers on the trusty old hardtail in the Peaks!

Things that piss me off on a CV:

Mis-spelling (if you can’t be bothered to use spellcheck, it’s not great)

Education that goes too far back – if you’ve got a PHD or MBA, no one is going to care about that GCSE Art B.

TLAs (three letter acronyms) – if they’re from a previous job, they won’t mean anything to a prospective employer.

Things that look good:

Nice, airy layout – be concise and don’t make it look or read like an essay.

Team Sports – seriously, I really think that if you can rub along with other people in a sports team for a long time, you can’t be a total arse all of the time (J. Terry esq being an exception rather than the rule!)

Good and relevant points from employment history – not easy, this, but if you can mug up on the company you are sending it to and tailor the experience to their requirements you are on to a winner. Be subtle – this is a subconscious one!

Elbow gashed open down to bone – 15 stitches, 9 internal, 6 external. The guy who stitched me up did an absolute beaut of a job – he was a plastics bod who happened to have been roped in for a Friday night shift. The place was full of drunks, so he spent a surprising amount of time getting me just right. The scar was invisible after 6 weeks (we had a baby daughter in the interim). So, I venture out for the first time, slip on a simple bit of wet grass and whack the elbow. A lot of pain, but the resulting bruising discoloured the perfect scar and left me with something more impressive.

Broken ribs six weeks ago – back on the bike after three, OK by four, fine by five.

Double-hard (honest).

If you have to ask, you’re not allowed in…………

Hi ernie.

I know there is more to Keynesian thought than ‘spend your way out of trouble’, but that’s about all I know!

suggesting measures such as tax hikes to dampen demand and create budgetary surpluses

So, one of the cornerstones of the theory is to not be in the shite in the first place, by being prudent in good times :-)

This does seem sensible to me – but as you rightly point out, any politician who says, “for the long-term good, you cannot have all your cake and eat it now” will simply not be elected!

I guess it’s just the short-term vs long-term thing again, and people wanting what they can’t have. You can have stability with prudence, but prudence doesn’t buy you a new telly now(!)

I thought this was going to be a run-down of the ‘Top One Million Alcohol-Related Hospital Admissions’.

Imagine my disappointment when I founod out otherwise.

I was looking forward to seeing what the best ones were and was ready to praise whoever had compiled the list for their tenacity.