My 11yr old son is a dedicated coach potato with a love of computer games and a real lazy streak. He’s also particularly fond of helping himself to food. The upshot is we had an episode in the summer where he admitted to me he felt uncomfortable about playing in the pool with the other kids as he was to fat.
This was heartbreaking as a dad so I promised him we’d work together to make him feel positive about himself. I suggested we go cycling together. He said he’d prefer to run. That was the wrong answer but I wanted him to lead so running it was.
The thing is the first attempt he gave it his best for all of 45 seconds and then wanted to go home. When I pointed out we haven’t reached the end of our road he went full on stroppy teenager. He proceeded to pant and wheeze like he was having a seizure, whinging and crying, claiming I was going to injure him or he was going to collapse. Now I know my son and this was all for effect as he wanted to get back to the TV. I pushed him round and forced him to finish. To any onlooker would have looked like such an arsehole.
However, the next time it was a bit better and the time after that it was OK and afterwards he thanked me for making him do it and now a few weeks down the line he’s feeling far more confident and happy added to that he is physically healthier.
I guess my point is that in some cases what may look like a pushy dad is actually a dad doing the best they can for their kid, admittedly not always but you can’t judge without all the evidence.