We had a long conversation when my wife first fell pregnant about what we thought would be the best family setup.
We both agreed that we were becoming parents and that we wanted to be the ones to bring our kids up rather than, if it could be helped, looking at childcare options. My wife worked in education so I earned 3 times what she did so it made a lot of sense that she would be the one to become a stay at home parent.
As it turned out 2 months after my son was born I got made redundant which threw a massive spanner in the works (company I worked for folded so no lovely payout for me) I started contracting and we debated my wife going back to work but given the cost of childcare of a quality we were happy with it was not financially worth it.
After my second child went in to full time education my wife went back to work 3 days a week and the balance works nicely for us. Without wanting to sound like a dick I earn enough its irrelevant if my missus works and everything is a joint account anyway so there’s no ‘pocket money’ type conversations between she and I.
Her work is massively beneficial to those she works with and emotionally challenging for her so 3 days a week works nicely for her mental well being.
At each decision point we have sat and discussed whats best for us as a family. There have been a few issues with regards to me “not pulling my weight at home” or her “expecting me to work a 14 hour day and do the chores” but we have reached a nice balance.
If she worked 5 days a week then maybe I’d have more exciting toys but she’d be miserable. I know which is better!