You’re awesome.

I know,
Blessed I am.

If you’re aware of what’s going in around you, no change of speed is necessary.
POSTED 10 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

You obviously have never driven a vehicle that requires you to add gradient and momentum into your driving strategy.
Where you capitalise on the downs. And have to utilise the crawler lanes. And if you drop below certain revs you have no where to go but to keep down shifting because the gradient dictates it.

You have the acceleration to pull out.
If you drive a piece of shit you have to plan pulling out . 😀

It’s to do with why I go 75 on motoways.
As travelling at the speed limit upsets people. And 75 keeps me from upsetting the law.

As a child I was part of the 100 plus brigade, but I grew up.

You drive religiously at 30 on 30mph roads, you get beeped flashed and regularly offered a Nescafé ( I think that’s what they are saying).

As you will find an ever increasing gap between you and the car in front.
And the person behind up your arse getting very upset.

Yeah but they are speeders.

How many people are killed every year by lane hoggers, less than people speeding I would say.

I would be in an out like a fiddlers elbow . You can , not me.
My system works .

But the inside lane is going slower than I want To go and I would happily travel at 70 as I did for three years after ending up with nine points from a motorcycle crash and could not risk a further three.

So for three years I religiously stuck to the speed limit at all times on all roads.
And I found nothing infuriates a motorist more than someone traveling at the speed limit. 😀

But I am doing 75 , unless you are emergency services you have no business overtaking me.
You are saying my bad driving is hindering yours.

The simple system I have perfected is to get in to which ever lane is travelling the closest to the speed I want to travel at, then I stay there untill it is no longer traveling at the speed I wish to be traveling at. At which point I move in or out to which ever lane is now traveling at what speed I wish to travel at.

It is a system that has served me well for 25 years now.

On an open road I will take the inside, when there is a lorry every hundred yards or so I will sit in the middle, you are free to overtake using the outside , which is exactly what I do when I find some in front of me going slower than I wish to travel .

So If I am in the middle lane doing 75 say, how is that a problem to you .
If you wish to go faster, use the outside lane to overtake, or would you rather I moved in to allow you to continue along the middle lane that was exactly what I was doing,

If I sat in the outside lane, I could see an issue. But I am not.

Inside lane for lorries and old people.
Middle lane for normal folk who want to be able to go Ahem the speed limit.

Outside lane for people who want to go 90+ And all the people who feel the need to do a 100+ get to ether tailgate the outside lane bullying there way through or weave in and out of which ever lane that gets them past one car at a time.

That is the natural order of the motorway.

I hog the middle lane out of principle and years of owning a smiley transit with the acceleration and maneuverability of a canal boat.

It was suprisingly common for someone to fly down the outside cutting across my lane with about six inches to spare between them and me into the inside lane at 90 mph (I can only imagine they did this to make a point that maybe I was a bad driver ) only for them to have to brake really really hard narrowly avoid ploughing into the back of a lorry.

Cocks.

Tandoori mixed grill and chilli chicken biryani, not all to my self obviously.

Washed down with a couple of Stella’s

A freind of mine was recently hospitalised with a Hoover pipe stuck up his bum.

I rang up yesterday to see how he was and the nurse said he was picking up well.

Sergeant major: ” jones, I did not see you in camouflage training this afternoon “.
Jones: “thank you sir”.

Take him his favourite take away,as hospital food is shocking.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend .

I watched a live news report from Syria where the reporter had just hot footed it to a block of flats that Assad had just flattened

The reporter interviewed a local who lived in the adjacent building.

The reporter opened with what a bad bastard Assad was blowing up this block of flats.
The local looked at him puzzled and said. Yesterday a bunch of armed men turned up and assembled an anti aircraft gun on the roof of that building, and then told every one who lived there “you have not seen us roight”.
And continued on to say what would you expect Assad to do.

When this all kicked off with Syria I did not agree with how it was being reported when assads forces fought back against armed rebels it was reported as he was firing on civilians,yes because they were shooting at him.

Like in th Ukraine the separatist were always terrorists in my mind yet they were first reported as russian protestors,
**** off, protestors don’t turn up better armed than arnie in the final scenes of commando.
And now they have become seperatists, no they are terrorist.

No shit Sherlock.

Only those who want peace and realise that all pride, hurt and hatred will have to be put aside to achieve it will.
It’s a vicious circle of hatred and death. Unless this can be broken nothing will change.
And you do not give me hope.

Mine arrived yesterday, and was surprised by how scruffy looking it was under the finish.
It is perfectly formed and finished to the touch , but there are several thin wobbly lines that practical run from one end to the other.

It does not compromise the bars in anyway and once mounted and furnished most of them will be covered .
Not bothered about them snapping as will be using a raceface turbine stem, dangers my middle name.

My point is as long as the Palestinians are forced to live under the conditions they are, their will never be opposition to Hamas.
The Israelis will never be able to defeat Hamas with force, because it is force that it feeds on.
Only the Palestinians can give up Hamas , so give them reason to .

Israel will achieve nothing doing what they are doing.

You live in a crumbling rubble strewn shithole and Hamas turns up and says “I am just going to launch a few rockets over here, you don’t mind do you.”

You would be like, knock your self out rudeboy, it’s a crumbling shit hole anyway.

If the Palestinians were allowed to build and live in a great country and Hamas turned up with a few rockets. You would be like “**** off, I have just jet washed the patio.

Raising it to the ground will change nothing.

They would be the same. Murderers.

If May get’s her way she will be able to do exactly this.

Not as long as we are part of Europe we can’t, it would be against European law.

no need for prison time, no need for constant surveillance when they get out and no need for introducing a law giving the government the right to revoke peoples citizenship’s on the grounds of terrorism. A power that will be open to abuse.

You cannot stop a British jihadist from returning to this country.
Once they return, if you can prove charges against them, arrest them, try them, put them in prison .

If not they will have to be kept under surveillance.
That is a lot of people watching a lot of people.

And there will be acts of terror in this country, No two ways about it.

If a jihadist was foreign born but became a brittish citizen,we can revoke there passport and refuse entry.
If a jihadist has dual nationality we can revoke their british passport and refuse entry .

If a jihadist is british we can’t revoke their passport and refuse them entry.
Because you cannot leave someone with out nationality and effectively lumber someone else with our trash.

Imagine if we had a yorkshire ripper type charecter who happened to be French. He served his time in our prisons then on release we rightly moved to send him home to France, and the French turned round and said “sorry he is no longer French, so not our problem. You can have him”.

My little sister used to be murder for shop lifting when she was a toddler.
Get home after an afternoon at the shops and her pushchair would be stuffed with more swag than a branch of cashconverters.

She used to frisked more often than a black kid in Tottenham.

I asked my mate Mario last week where about in Italy he came from.
He said,

I come from such a small village you would never have heard of it.
I come from such a small village I did all the building work for everyone in the village, but was I known as Mario the builder, No.

I come from such a small village I did all the gardening for everyone in the village, but was I known as Mario the gardener, No.

I come from such a small village there was only one bus, and I drove that bus, but was I known as Mario the bus driver, No.

But you shagga one sheep!

I walked into the doctors last week and said “doc, my knobs turned bright orange”.
“Don’t be ridicules” he said “there is no such condition”.

So I showed it to him, “Good gracious” said he “I have been practising for over 40 years and have never seen anything like it”.
“What do you do for a living, work in a nuclear facility, a chemical plant maybe, or even a paint factory”.

“Funny you should mention work actually doc” Said I “as I was recently made redundant, now I mostly spend my afternoons watching porn and eating wotsits”.

An Alsatian and a Labrador are sat in the vets waiting room, when the Labrador turns to the Alsatian and asks “what are you in for”.

“Well said the Alsatian, the other morning my owner went to work and did not close the door properly, so I did what every good guard dog should and went to sleep by front door”.

“Then I heard the creek of the front gate and then his footsteps”.
“Now I new I should not have done it and I knew it was wrong, but I just could not stop myself”.
” i flung the front door open and savaged the postman, when I say savaged I mean I gave him a proper savaging”.
“So now, I am in for castration”.
“What are you in for “.

” well ” said the Labrador, the other morning I was asleep in my bed in kitchen when in walked my mistress wearing nothing but a very short, flimsy baby doll nighty”
“She walked up to the worktop, flicked on the kettle ,opened the fridge and bent over to get the milk”.

Now I knew I should not have done it and I knew it was wrong, but I just could not stop myself”.
“I ran over jumped up at her back and gave her a rogering , now when I say rogering I mean I gave her a proper rogering “.

“Ah” said the Alsatian “so it’s castration for you too “.
“No” said the Labrador “I am in to have my nails clipped”.

Two Jewish gentlemen are walking down the road when one finds a pay packet with £400 pound in it.
His friend turns to him and says ” Avi, you are the luckiest person I know”

“Lucky” says Avi “have you seen the tax I am paying”

Racist, some may say, funny yes.

Two drunks leaving a pub bump into a nun.
When one of the drunks knocks her to the floor then lays in with his boot.
As they walk away he turns to his mate and says ” I thought batman would have been harder than that”

A drunk walks into a bar and starts to tell the barman a blonde joke,
When a blonde woman sat at a table nearby says “oi, I am the women’s Olympic judo gold medalist and I am blonde.
My friend on my left is the women’s heavy weight boxing Olympic gold medalist and she’s blonde and my friend on the right is the woman’s tae Kwan do Olympic gold medalist , and she is blonde.

“Now do you still want to tell your blonde joke.”

“No” said the drunk “not if I am going to have to explain it three times ”

Ah, poor elvis copped a lot of stick for dying on the karzy.
Undignified?, considering you shit yourself after popping your gloggs I could not think of a more dignified place to go.
😀

I’m torn, either cathy dennis,touch me.
What can I say I was 16, she had red hair wore a catsuit and could often be found sweating.
The three things I look for in a woman.

Or this, test one.

Wish I could say something clever and arty but I just like it.

The last time I had a status symbol it was probably my Sergio Tacchini wrist band (I did have two but I am pretty sure I swapped one for Pat Nevin and Kerry Dixon).

Why do I picture you in a padded cell, wearing a straight jacket frantically typing out your posts with your big toe of one foot while gripping your phone with your other, only stopping momentarily to look left then right before returning to it.

Please tell me you do spend time doing normal stuff too because the constant conspiracy theories can not be good for your health.

Jive honey,
On the rolf thread there was a you tube screen shot of max Clifford with white hair and black eyebrows.
I was going to add a picture of alister darling with a tenuous link and a lame joke.

But thought better of it because to link someone to such crimes is an awful slur and greatly irresponsible and with people like yourself around it may grow legs and before you know it he has found himself the subject of the internet rumour mill.

If you have genuine evidence of impropriety, tell the appropriate authorities. Because there is sod all I can do.
Because the way you go about it it would not matter if it was true, because no one will take you seriously .

Who did what in the past can not be changed now.
And if you believe we did that to who means we have no moral high ground to stop innocent people from being mass murdered, what do you suggest, we just leave them to it.