Great memories,

Screws, screws, and more screws and once a gold curb chain.
Oh and more screws.

Swings and roundabouts Julian.
Anyway the two staff that helped me today were (unusually) very cheery and helpful. There English wasn’t that bad either and much better than my Slovak.

Just as well,
I don’t know any Slovak, and my polish is limited to “I sleep with old women for money”.
And **** obviously.

Ok, thanks. Will forget about it and ride my bike.
Thanks again.

Is “the next big thing” down to logical progression or salesmen clutching at straws.

If it makes no odds I will leave as is.
As an FU to my desire for order.

I have a fender bender, and chose not to wear safety glasses this morning, regretted it when haring down a steep muddy fire road a large lump of shite (it smelt of horses)and grit hit me in the eye.
I did my best to negotiate the tractor sized rutts while doing a mean miles Cyrus impression.

I will definitely be wearing my glasses next time, definitely be wearing my glasses.

I should think not, I thought fat bikes were for wallys. (Run away)

I only go fast when gravity assisted, the rest of the time I’m savouring the ambience.

I run all alivio on my commuter , I think the crankset was £20 from crc.
Reason being my commuter spends many hours chained up in public and I want to keep the desirerability factor down as not to make it top of any theifing gits to nick list.

And I have some how amassed a few new un55 bbs, probably enough to see me out so square taper all the way for my commuter.

Firstly I’m heartened to see that 1×10 and 1×11 folks do use 28 and 30 front rings. That’s the only way it would work for me

According to SRAM 28 and 30s are the way fwd for most. 32 is just an older 1×10 go-to / hang-up, or a size that works better for 26″.

Because sram cassettes have a 10t for its smallest sprocket as opposed to shimanos 11t.

As soon as SRAM cassettes go for under a ton I’m in.
Till then I’m oot.

I use fenwicks dry lube all year round, it goes on sparkly gold but dries black, can’t think what it’s called.
I used to use the muck off ceramic wet lube on my commuter but the chainrings used to get gunked up quite quickly and were a nightmare to clean up properly so it went in the bin and now with fenwicks it stays cleaner for longer and cleans up easier.

My last experience of sports direct was a weekday early afternoon.
Bearing in mind it was a large retail outlet on a retail park.
There were six people visibly in the shop, me, another customer, three sales staff and a security guard on the door.

One sales assistant was on the floor helping the other customer choose a pair trainers, one stacking shelves and one behind the till.
I stood clutching my chosen shoe about ten yards away from the one serving as not wanting to intrude but still make him aware I was wating to be served. Ten yards in the other direction was the one stacking shelves who would occasionally make eye contact but then turn away quickly returning to his shelf stacking, with the last assistant stood behind the counter staring blankly into space.

After what seemed a lifetime I turned to the one stacking shelves and said I would like a pair of these in a size 10 please while offering him the shoe.
I can’t help you sir i am currently busy was his reply.
So I patiently waited another lifetime while the other customer tried on every shoe in the place before approaching the young lady on the till, could I please get these in a size ten while again offering my chosen shoe I asked.

Sorry I am on the till you will have to get one of our staff on the floor to help you she replied.
So I then retook my place near by to the one member of staff who was actually giving good service and the young lady behind the till went back to staring blankly into space.

This went on for another 15 minutes, before I could take no more and conceded defeat, returning the £90 trail running shoe to its place on the wall and then left.

When I left I was not even angry, quit the opposite, I felt like I needed a lie down, as I had never failed before to buy something I wanted from a shop.

I have no problem with its products but thegreatape summed up perfectly my experience of sports direct.

Poor girl was known as the one who snapped Xs penis for quit a long time.

With that and I’ve also got Phimosis it adds to an interesting post exercise pee……..
Goddamn you wikipedia

He just needs to add a French cut, that’ll sort it.

My little renault had an rmr layout,
And my brother was convinced if my mum bought one she would kill herself.

Now if you want to see the opposite problem, you should see someone when they have fractured the shaft whilst erect (not just the old banjo string). The screams!

I know someone who put a serious kink in his erect appendage while dry humping a schoolgirl in a swimming pool.
I hasten to add he was a school boy at the time and had to be taken to his doctor by his mother as a result.

I once had a serious case of cock chaffing that left my old chap looking like it belonged to the singing detective.
It would look smooth red and shiny until I got an erection at which point the top layer of epidermis would split and peel much like a *large snake shedding its skin.

* use of the word large may be credited to poetic license and not a true reflection of actual dimensions.

Anyone of us including yourself op could give you an informed answer to your question using the power of google.
But where would the fun be in that.

If you wife really would like to know posting an account of your disappearing todger on an Internet forum is not the way to go about it.

I have never lost my licence, but was rendered incapable of driving for 3 months due to injury and it was a royal pain in the arris. And that was using London transport.

The testicles are not even on the outside when you are born. There is a little space for them still inside your groin where they came from and, should curiosity get the better of you, they can be persuaded back in there without too much trouble. It’s what drag queens do to look right on stage…

I am welling up here(Camply fans eyeballs with right hand).

When I was a pickny frequenting sports shops was a joyous affair,
But a trip to sports direct is a life sucking experience to be avoided at all costs.

My dad pulled in to a supermarket carpark in hanwell.
When a woman knocked on his window and on opening said with an Eastern European accent would he like to put his hand in her knickers for a pound a minute.

He politely declined.

Isn’t the internet brilliant.

Indeed. I always have a quick check for anything with sharp teeth before unzipping.

You did not step out the shower with a rogue estrogen patch stuck to your foot this morning did you.
Or maybe there was a mix up in the medicine draw,
Your misses is having hot flushes but on the plus side has not had a woodbine since breakfast.

Could it not be coaxed out with a small piece of cheese maybe.

Surely the ultimate is midget hookers with silver trays of toot balanced on their heads?

In your world maybe sunshine,
But in mine they would be tall and leggy with the coke on their breasts.

Everything I could think of was still £4-6k.
If it did not have to be cheap my money would be on one of these.

My mum nearly bought one years ago but my brother told her it was not a good idea.

Chip – did you have a good time?

It was not me, honest.

It was a friend who before he met his wife had a widely known penchant for ladies who charge.

Health and safety at its best.
These young ladies live somewhere where street ladies have to wear hi vis by law, forget where.

In my early twenties I was sat in a beer garden having a drink with a friend who was reading the local paper.
Halfway through his first pint he broke off conversation to ring his dad to borrow £50.
“Thanks dad, I will be around in twenty minutes” he said as he gathered his belongings and headed for his car.

Where are you going I shouted to him, to which he replied there was a brothel in the paper offering a “two for one” deal.

Even recessions have a silver lining.

Lederhosen.

Many years ago a bad bastard, now an old bad bastard.

And i do think the severe lack of prison spaces effects sentencing and the square root of sod all is sod all surely but don’t quote me as I am no mathematician.

I think the parole boards motives are more to do with freeing up a prison place.
Sure, that’s why he had the very short sentence of 48 years.

Not long enough for what he did,

I think the parole boards motives are more to do with freeing up a prison place.
And this mans PUNISHMENT should have been to stay locked up for the rest of his natural life.

The police stick there neck on the line everyday to protect you and I from people who would con, rob, rape and use violence against us for fun or personal gain.
There may be a few rotten apples and the service may not be as great as I would like due to a lack of funding or personnel.
But the police I believe are a force to be respected and anyone with half a brain should know using violence against them is a serious offence.