I just wasted 5 mins of my life reading this bollox.

But that’s just my opinion, so I’m probably wrong.

You got a m8 who was killed, do ‘all I can to make myself seen’ and yet dont bother with lights to nip down the road to the chinky.

You dont think you can be killed right outside your house then?

Seems like the problem is with you m8, if you ride your bike so that people in vehicles can see you, and I dont just mean getting lights but also road position etc then you will be safer and less likely to get plod on your back, or worse, a forty ton truck.

plonker tbh.

Got a lathe? Use a parting off tool for round bar and tube.

However i’m sure there are others who enjoy pulling theirs while watching.

I’d rather cut my cock off than watch that pile of shit.

give him his ten quid back, tell him to take it to a bike shop. You spent three hours truing? the hassle youre getting/got is not covered by ten quid.

Simples.

You’ll need some animals… and a camera.

what? 😯

I predict this thread picks up pace today as folks try out new methods and post their results.

i’m going to try the ‘ pull the roll through until the brown stripe disappears’ method!
Is that f2b or b2f?

I thought the military method was to have one sheet, tear a small circle from the middle, put finger through the hole and wipe ass, then finally use the torn out bit to clean under your fingernail.

AtennnnShun!!

I often have a good read of stw forums (via mobile webbamajob) while taking a shit, so I can report live from the event…

Its a front to back motion, with approx 2 x 24inches of carefully coiled low grade paper material followed with 3 (or perhaps four, for a really sparkly job)high grade wet wipes*

*Wetwipes of course,if I am at home. I feel a bit of a **** walking off to the shithouse with a pack of wetwipes tucked under me arm while at work, in which case I make do with the slightly uneasy feeling of possible tagnuts for the rest of the day. 😕

I think I (and many others) have shared far too much. 😮

we’re booked in at moorhouse campsite near holford

google ftw.

Me ‘n’ Mrs cheeze + young miss cheeze are all booked up at the campsite..
Looking forward to it, see you on friday evening!

OP, I expect you’re close to Bell End too?

Oh, and please ffs stop banging on about diana,ffs.

Ffs.

Why do the cameras keep focusing on the three essex slappers?

Mrs cheeze is shouting ‘ primark, primark, primark!’ at all dresses in the abbey!

Post office in essential bike parts non delivery scam to make people watch royal wedding shocker!

Just been to mine, it’s closed.

Bugger.

wind-blown dust clouds caused by wheel skidding/ spinning in the dry causes more erosion than a good set of mud tyres that leave imprints only and dont pick up in muddy conditions.

Discuss!

(lights environmental fuse and stands back):-)

Load of bollox, lets hear it for muddy and slippy conditions!

Bring on the winter!

Wouldn’t want to pop my parts in the ‘ parts washer’!

I got some well cheap lidls spray-on chain cleaner the other day, bloody ace!

Aeon Flux? Van Helsing?

U lot eunuchs or something?

Snakes on a Plane, now theres a bag of bollox if ever theres one.

Oh and that **** awful ‘Phone Booth’ with Colin Farrel.. ‘Just hang up on the ****’!

dont wear those boots.

if you want the job, buy/borrow a pair of shoes and wear those instead.

Get yourself some forearm muscles, then they wont slip down.

‘edit’ Theres various exercises available for that!

Anyone got a linky to a cable oiler please?

+1 for cannondale rz120

I just got one recently, can’t fault it, apart from the stock wheels just being a little too light for my fat-ass needs.

However, I’ve swapped the wheels over,set the air suspension up and bobs your mums brother!

What you need is a book about it..

.. 😯

Its nice,

What you need is a couple of those china fish vases, where you stick the flowers in its mouth.

lovely.

I think that half the people who moan about the people they live near don’t realise you can TRAIN people to be good neighbours, just with YOUR attitude.

A crock of shite.

I am an unobtrusive neighbour and thats all I ask of them. However, I have one bunch of **** who lets their kids shreik and scream non-stop for hours every time the sun comes out, another who lets his dog shit all over my drive then pretends its a ‘jack russell from down the road’ and another tosser who pings fag butts all over my driveway. ****

Its just fukking rude. I dont understand why people behave in this way?

How do you suggest I ‘train’ these people not to be a bunch of ignorant unthinking ****?

..if thats the state of the rotor, can you please show a pic of your cassette?

..and do you wheels wobble a bit and the crank make a funny noise?

yup,

log splitter ftw.

(use lil axe for kindling-type stuff)

What tyre print for tattoo?

I use ‘dimpsy’

Also ‘smeech’ for acrid smoke say from a bonfire or maybe smog while sat in traffic.
‘I cant see through all this smeech’

leave it.

the bird will call out and its parents will feed it. Or not.

U pick it up its fukked for sure.

leave it.

Ah, just me then? I’ll have the place to meself!

Dunno why you’re complaining?

The work is probably being done for the benefit of whoever lives on the street.

Utilities dont spend money on expensive digs just to deliberately piss people off.

Are you allowed to make shoes out of dogs?

Me! Well,it is monday!

Thanks all for your suggestions,

I think the inlaws will also be playing the ‘hide the sausage’ game!

… and I feel that some of your suggestions are made from the safety of the interwebs, where Mrs CheeZe cannot find you.
I’ll bet you’re not so brave when your own inlaws come round!

**Inlaw update** – Noisy 2year old has gone to bed and now I have to keep the **** noise down!..
How the hell am I going to be able to play Left4Dead2 with me online swearing m8s now?

Bugger. Might have to get on with finishing off my bottles of plonk before they do! 🙂

Havent said ‘i do’ but still tied down just the same!

mrs cheeze has pre-empted my thoughts and banned my escape!