Read some of this but at work so can’t read it all.
My tips would be
1. Relax – they will sense your frustration and either play on it to get what they want or get stressed over eating which leads to all sorts of other problems.
2. Have a structured meal times. We have Breakie at around 8am, snack about 10am (Strips of vegs or biscuit or pitta and houmous or banana), lunch at 12.30 then snack mid afternoon and dinner at 6pm. Routine is key as it will get their metabolism in order and they will know what to expect when.
3. No snacks outside of their mealtimes – it’ll turn everything to crap if you do.
4. Put dinner down and if they don’t eat it, don’t make a fuss (very important) just leave it with them for about 10mins (or until they throw it around) then if they don’t start / finish eating it then move it away – you can try to feed them if you like but don’t make a big issue of it. If they ask for what they prefer (sausages) then say “no, eat your dinner” and give them their dinner back. If they don’t want it and refuse dinner then get them down from the table – bit of tough love and they’ll soon work it out that they have to eat what is put infront of them. If you give into them then while you will be feeding them up for that one meal you’ll also be creating a rod for your own back without resolving the problem.
Mainly I’d say relax, lay down a routine and take control.
Oh, and buy Annabel Karmel’s book – she is awesome!