30 something cougars are referred to as pumas AFAIK.

By the way, I’m 31 so vital statistics on the back of a recent swimwear shot and all that please

Cannonball, The Breeders

Oh this is so typical, but I ran into my ex-Incredible Legs Girl tonight. She’s moving to New Zealand (Christchurch, New Zealand) sometime probably, but my God, those legs!

Also tonight, I met Incredible Rack Girl, a gravity defying girl from Christchurch in Dorset, life is nothing if not complicated.

Also, new Rival Schools album:
http://www.spinner.com/new-releases#/2

Nothing wrong with savoury fillings.

Similarly, you can put sweet fillings in a tortilla.

Seconded for Bolognese, delicious as a savoury pancake.

The first time I was served in an off licence was at the age of 15 whilst visiting Barry Island.

I didn’t look 18, I’m not even convinced that I looked 15! The shopkeeper looked unconvinced. So, aided by my as yet unattached rank chevron (I’d just been promoted to the heady heights of Lance Corporal in the CCF) O managed to convince him that I was a soldier.

A soldier with shoulder length hair ripped 501s, cherry red DMs and a Mudhoney tee shirt.

UPDATE: Date was a success!

We kissed, seeing her again on Sunday.

Thanks for all of the helpful hints, I feel it was the constant compliments about her breasts and the romantic abandoned quarry setting that really sealed the deal

😀

#
midlifecrashes – Member

She might be very grateful if you quietly let her know about plod’s interest
Posted 42 minutes ago #

Politely inform her that a man with an extendable baton popped round earlier and voiced his intent to take down her particulars.

they always target low paid folk and disabled and handicapped folk who are unable to defend themselves.

I think you’re getting them confused with Londis.

foxyboy – Member

would this be the same david scumeron who said not one doctor or nurse or policeman would lose their job if he was elected. and his government is closing day centres for handicapped children the **** hypocrite. he had no option but to use the nhs when his son was ill! wake up and smell the coffee you retard!

I love this guy!

He’s like elfinsafety: The High School Years.

Right now?

Tedious argument with a heroin enthusiast.

He seems to think that it’s a terrible affront to his human rights to request that he take a drug test.

This in spite of the fact that he has been a heroin enthusiast for well over two decades, was imprisoned for offences directly related to the funding of his enthusiasm for heroin and signed a whole series of forms in which he agreed to be tested for heroin (whether taken enthusiastically or otherwise) in return for his early release from prison on Licence.

He also freely admits to taking heroin frequently and enthusiastically.

During the course of the conversation Godwin’s Law was invoked at a very early stage, ‘You’re worse than the SS!’ (conversely, I believe that their stance on heroin enthusiasts was rather more severe than mine).

FML.

I’ve only been once (Pavement, May 2010), but we had such a good time.

I’d have gone again this year, but I’m not a particularly massive fan of Animal Collective. That said, I did enjoy Strawberry Jam.

It’s not a new phenomenon.

As a teenager at a Surrey public school in the early/mid 90’s we had a fair few of these kids. One in particular was always resplendent in faux ghetto regalia, I distinctly recall him wearing one of those black baseball caps with a stainless steel plate attached to the front reading ‘COMPTON’. Compton? Surbiton more like.

Oh, he was called Cornelius and his dad worked for Price Waterhouse Coopers.

I’m going to Truck (as usual), Sonisphere and ATP Nightmare Before Christmas.

Tempted to do Benicassim this year too as have always wanted to go.

#
miketually – Member

Hopefully the safeguards that are in place now are stringer than they were back then…

Guess what one of the savings the government are making is…
Posted 2 minutes ago # Report-Post

They’re legalising noncing?

If you’re referring to overhauling the CRB system then good, it’s rubbish.

You’ll have to prove to the local police firearms licencing officer that you have a valid purpose for owning it.

Take up clay pigeon shooting or something.

‘I just want one’ doesn’t go down well!

flip – Member

Used to live in Bournemouth, really miss the party every night

Bumbles, Westbourne..

My 58 year old colleague keeps threatening to take me there for ‘grab a granny’ night.

Well, I say ‘threatening’. But, it’s been 4 months now and I’m up for it!

Let me know if you need any detailed Bournemouth info.

I’m a resident (BH8, innit?)

But, broadly speaking:

Strip joints (not that you’ll want to visit such sordid dens) –

Peaches – Opposite Bournemouth railway station
Wiggle – Bottom of Old Christchurch Road, next to Horseshoe Common
FYEO – As with Wiggle, but other side of the road
Spearmint Rhino – Town centre

Big cheesy clubs/bars with lots of loose women –

Bliss – St Peter’s Road, town centre
Chilli White – St Peter’s Road, town centre
Kukui – Bottom of Richmond Hill, town centre
Aruba – Bournemouth Pier

More upmarket bars with prettier girls –

Bar So – Near the BIC
1812 – Next to Bar So
The Print Room – Midway up Richmond Hill, town centre
Camel (Moroccan style Souk bar – open til’ 06.00), Old Christchurch Road
Fruit (Vodka a speciality), Old Christchurch Road
Urban Beach – Sea Road, Boscombe
Urban Reef – Boscombe Pier

Indie rock places with art school/student crowd and decent music –

60 Million Postcards (Best bar in town imho)- Exeter Road
Smokin Aces (New place, great cocktails) – The Triangle
iBar (owned by the chap who invented the computer game ‘Worms’) – Landowne Road

Sticky carpetted RAWK dive in the grand tradition –

Sound Circus, Holdenhurst Road, opposite Bournemouth railway station

Mother Goose costume out of stock…

http://tinyurl.com/4urcjl3

😥

http://tinyurl.com/458q7dl

Right, shirt advice now…

Is this Brokeback Mountain or Heartbreak Ridge?

As a guide, I want to look like a semi-formal faux lumberjack who may or may not have experimented with my sexual orientation.

@BH…. how well do you know ariane?

Well, I ‘had’ her in the back of her Jeep.

That was probably the highlight of my sex life* in early 2008.

*That seems like a rather grandiose term for gazing at women on public transport.

barnsleymitch – Member

After giving this some more thought, I think you should just chin the wine waiter when he comes to your table.

That should convince her that I’m soave.

TAXI!

Tragically, I’m well acquainted with ‘Ariane’.

😳

#
BillMC – Member

And ofcourse we must get a blow by blow account of the evening’s proceedings.
Posted 1 minute ago # Report-Post

If it gets to the blow stage on the first date, I’ll organise a live stream.

I was considering hiring a local street urchin to stage a fake mugging, I would then embrace my inner Charles Bronson and send the aforementioned scamp on his way.

Later on I could stroke a puppy or something, thereby embracing my inner Rolf Harris.

philconsequence – Member

real men propose using onion rings straight from the fryer, if she winces at the pain then she’s surely going to struggle in the bedroom?

*makes mental note to ensure she leaves with a well battered ring*

#
rOcKeTdOg – Member

i always find “those are great shoes/boots etc you are wearing, i have a bit of a fetish for shoes” is a great conversation starter
Posted 1 minute ago # Report-Post

You’ve opened up an interesting side issue.

It’s sometimes said that women show undue interest in a man’s choice of footwear, apparently they can glean way more information from this than any enhanced CRB check.

With that in mind, I intend to wear Clarks Desert Boots. So, laydeez…will this lead to sex within the hour or tears before bedtime?

The Southern Yeti – Member

Stifling genuine laughter here… take your sense of humour, you’ll be fine.
If she doesn’t appreciate it… as long as you’ve got a beard, moobs, and waxed legs… drop me a line…

Beard – Yes.
Moobs – No.
Waxed legs – Sort of.

I’ll send you a fax.

Heavens no, that’s all so 2010.

I call it ‘freelance urban surveillance’

#
The Southern Yeti – Member

I’ll send you a picture… do you mind if I’m still in the underwear?
Posted 52 seconds ago # Report-Post

Not at all.

Actually, may I be so bold as to offer a serving suggestion?

Reclining against a tumble drier with one hand on your spam javelin, the other massaging Angel Delight* into your chest.

*Butterscotch if available.

MSP – Member

The Southern Yeti – Member

MSP – it’s raining at the moment… and she’s got a tumble dryer…

bravohotel8er, you need to have a word with TSY, it appears he has already “researched” this girl and may have information to your advantage, or at least a pair of her worn panties that you could wear and impress her with.

I’ll PM him in a minute to compare notes.

And by notes, I mean underwear.

The Southern Yeti – Member

‘people watching’

You wouldn’t believe the number of girls that do list this as a past-time. Now I know where lil Thumper has gone!

I’ve been on Plenty of Fish long enough to know that their favourite hobby is ‘going out and staying in’.

I can never decide which of these I prefer. As a result, I spend a lot of time standing in the porch.

philconsequence – Member

If you look like this then you dont even need to open your mouth she’ll be so “hot for you”

I’d cut the sleeves off that jacket and team it with my Anthrax tee shirt for a winning combo.

The Southern Yeti – Member

Personally if I like a girl I try and get the conversation on to my favourite hobby… stalking. That way she knows that I’ll see her again…

I preferred it when we used to refer to that as ‘people watching’ and I said as much to the judge.

QUOTE:
deadlydarcy – Member

Is this the yuppie flu girl?
UNQUOTE.

That’s the bunny.

Not that I’ll be referring to ME as ‘yuppy flu’, I fear that doing so might hamper my progress somewhat!

:p

I’ve just finished building the new Nimrod.

I take realism very seriously so I immediately broke it up upon completion.

Realistically? Pitch Pro.

QUOTE: The Southern Yeti – Member
No, a good war is just what a tory government needs…
UNQUOTE.

Well, Iraq (Iraq 2: The Reckoning), Afghanistan, Sierra Leone, Kosovo (plus bombing of Serbia) all took place under Labour’s watch.

I don’t think the imposition of a no-fly zone by a multinational force would be a bad thing (and the UK would play a very minor role in it due to overstretch/cuts).

The Southern Yeti – Member

Can someone lend me some money to pay for Elnura’s airfare?
She’s very keen to meet me…

I have a colleague who fell for one of those scams five years ago.

Bizarre thing is, he’s quite successful with women and had always seemed pretty intelligent. He received an email from her ‘friend’ informing him that she’d died following a car crash whilst on the way to the airport.

£3,000 rinsed! 😛

Sweet Jesus! That new ASDA uniform is something of a departure.