I quickly realised the following:
– I wasn’t going to ever be able to fix it so it was like new
– I wasn’t going to ever be able to fix it in any shape of form in 2 hours
– The cat (Carlos) is the King of the house and so it would still be my fault if he had been to blame, and worse as I had endangered the King*
– The table leg had been broken before…. AHAH….
….. yes, the boy had jumped on the table about 6 months ago when it was new and ripped one of the insert nuts out of the legs. So there was a weak point and I just gently moved the table, the leg collapsed, tipped over and the top snapped (your honour) /case closed.
The boy, bless him, added to his guilt by smashing a glass on the kitchen floor shortly before mrs brakes came through the door.
I’ve still got to fix the crappy thing temporarily until we can get a replacement so thanks for the suggestions above. I’ll see what I can cobble together.
*case in point being that he regularly vomits on the expensive rug (not carpet – see picture earlier) and I get blamed for not removing him from rug quickly enough.