Birky
Thank you. You weren’t rambling, it made total sense.
I was quite the opposite.
Rarely saw my mum ( later in life) as they chose to live quite an independant life…they were caravan club wardens and loved their jobs, but chose / were given sites in remote parts of the Uk.
My mum was my role model, the one person I looked up to and wanted to make proud. My dad and I have always argued… He’s never ( until now) shown me much attention or love.
A product of his upbringing he probably didn’t exerience much love and therefore lacked the tools to pass it on.
He felt comfort in my mum, they became a unit…and that was to the detriment of the family.
Each time both mum and I got close…dad would shut it down with whatever means needed. Usually insults that caused us to argue and obviously he got what he wanted and I backed off.
Now I’m rambling…
Therefore my phenomenal bond with my mum was always at arms length both physically and emotionally.
She died on my birthday April the 9th…