I guess it’s a very individual thing, everyone deals with it (or not) in their own way.
My Dad died 3 and a half years ago. I had an unusual relationship with him as we saw each other regularly, at least a couple of times a week, but he had strong opinions on many things and never shied away from expressing them so we’d often end up arguing.
I think about him most days but when I picture him it’s usually as he was in hospital, and sometimes in dreams (we’re often arguing then too). My Mum has remarked that I never mention him but just feel uncomfortable talking about him, especially with her. I suppose I’m still angry with him that the illness that eventually got him was partly self-inflicted.
And it’s made me constantly worry about how much time I’ve got left with Mum. Not a nice way to be thinking.
To the OP, no advice really just thought I’d add my experience (sorry, a bit rambling).