From what you say on here regarding cycling in Edinburgh: the daily near-death incidents, cars trying to get you from all angles etc, you are not living in the same Edinburgh/universe as me but a parallel multiverse Edinburgh, and are somehow managing to connect to the internet and post on stw in this universe.
I’ve often thought this too, although there are other possibilities.
(a) I ride around in a bit of a daze and I’m completely unaware of the potential death surrounding me.
(b) Julie is still putting that “PLEASE KILL ME” sticker on TJs back when he leaves the house.
(c) He starts talking to them about stress aura’s/ helmets and their dangers/how some tyres are better than others/the advantages of tandems/definitions of mountainbiking and scares them into staying well away from him.