On a slightly different tack, my wife was called on her mobile on Saturday by somebody who had never called her before. Within an hour this person had popped up on MY Facebook in the ‘people you might know’ section. That is sinister.

yes this also happened to me yesterday. A text from someone who I have no ‘internet’ link or contact with at all, suddenly appeared as a suggested friend on facebook. I dont even have the facebook app installed, but access facebook in a browser on my phone.

I always assumed it was intended to nudge you into buying that thing you’ve spent your lunch break ‘window shopping’ for on the internet.

But I agree, I don’t understand what the problem is, but I suspect it’s a reaction to the unsettling experience (realisation?) that your browsing history is collected, and shared.

Currently in my mind as I watched Snowdon last night. 8O

According to Avon and Somerset Police guidelines “you do not have to give your name, address or date of birth to the police if you’re stopped and searched unless you are being reported for an offence.’

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-38691162

big fan of decathlon, their x-lite down jacket was the absolute runaway best buy I made in 2016, outstanding value and quality.
Also got some trail boots/shoes from there, very good.

44 here, did the ropes course at local centre last year as something to do with my lad. It’s absolutely fantastic, and plenty there all ages, from young to much older than me, wonderful inclusive atmosphere, amazing sport for many many reasons. Get it done. :)

We go for a few hours every other weekend, and I go some evenings, open until 10, thoroughly relaxing place to be.

I’m not going to read it, would rather look at pictures.
good imagery doesn’t need to be validated by an essay.
If it helps you see where you are going then fair enough but others don’t need to witness that journey, just see the results. IMHO

Completely agree with this.
Great photo’s, but the essay came across as trying way too hard to provide a reason for them, and it actually took something away from your photos.
I love good photography, and the best doesn’t need words or explanation.

concur with a lot said here.

Being a normal bloke gets you a very long way. I was on plenty of fish and didn’t really initiate any chats and was able to be pretty choosy. But it’s same other way, finding a reasonably sane woman who hasn’t been totally destroyed by a soulless marriage/**** is a task post-40.

But at 44 I’ve discovered absolute happiness I never knew existed with the most humble, kind, caring, intelligent, talented, considerate, person I’ve ever met. It’s like we share the same mind, I’m blown away by it.
I also think ‘most’ people settle. I did, I thought ‘is this it?’ a life of drudgery in a joyless marriage because that’s the life as decreed and designed by the society I was born into. Turns out I was very wrong.
But I know many others in that situation.

I write a journal and have used various methods over the years, latest and probably the best I’ve used is http://dayoneapp.com/

It’s [purely for therapeutic reasons, not a log of stuff done, just a short pause each day to reflect and evaluate. I write a few things to be grateful for and a few goals for the day, plus some thoughts, that’s it.
The benefits are huge.

It means listening to people who don’t do Christmas.

it means listening to people who don’t agree with your ‘version’ of Christmas?

I don’t ‘do’ Xmas, because of the absolute state it’s become, and the pig headed resistance by many to tolerate anything other than ‘tradition’.
Think most need to take a step back and objectively look at themselves, I don’t see much joy around in the shops, just wide eyed panic. It’s conformity, all or nothing distorted thinking.
Tradition is the enemy of progress, do something different for Xmas this year that makes you and your friends and family happy, and have the courage to challenge those with closed minds :)

Merry Xmas

no, unless it betrayed other issues like racism, or weapons grade ignorance (without a will to inform themselves). But then those things don’t just suddenly become apparent in friends.

I think it’s tragic how we’ve seemingly lost the ability to engage in healthy debate and political discourse without hatred, which is being reflected in Westminster. I genuinely fear where that may lead us.

Perhaps we’re seeing hyper confirmation bias in an information age, add in fear, and you have deeply entrenched often extreme views, and an extreme sense of entitlement to be heard and to be right.

separations don’t happen in a vacuum, otherwise all of the above would begin to make logical sense. The issues almost always boil down to assets being ‘weaponised’ through bitterness, vengeance, greed etc.
The absolute best thing you can do to facilitate a good separation is not be a dick.
Frankly I don’t give a shit what the monetary value of washing my pants is for the last 20 years, as long as she just goes quietly. I’d happily start again with nothing.

:lol:

Isn’t “Enough to keep her in the manner to which she’s been accustomed” a bit of a myth?
I dont think spousal maintenance is about achieving parity in standard of living, but protecting the lesser earning spouse from hardship.

been using daily mix a while yeh

it’s called spousal maintenance, there is no formula, any claim has to go through court, unless you can resolve in mediation.
It’s not an automatic entitlement, but a mechanism to protect former spouses from hardship/poverty. Precedent has been set in similar cases – do some googling. But she will have to make some effort to support herself.
I think also spousal maintenance does not take into account new partners earnings, which is where it gets really shitty.

Above just based on my own research, as I have this hanging over me currently due to kids approaching age where maintenance will no longer be paid, so she’s thinking of her future income.

Unless clean break order is obtained, which prevents future financial claims (I think!)

Personally speaking, after a crap marriage, my bullshit tolerance is very, very low. When I started dating again I was very wary of getting into the same situation again and I was able to spot a few options that would have led to a world of shit so I nipped them in the bud there and then and walked away

I’m in same boat, and do the same. Life is way too short.
texting is a weird one, I never thought texting would take on so much significance in my life, but in dating it can be really revealing, I can spot certain ‘types’ just from texting behavior. Most obvious is a woman losing her shit because I haven’t texted or responded in some (unknown to me) time limit. Bonkers.

Insecurity. The reason doesn’t matter.
Either talk about it like 40 year old adults (in person), accept it, or move on.

excellent, thank-you for sharing.

Procrastination is a convenient term upon which we can put all the blame for not getting things done, complain about it, feel bad, and look for a an easy fix. The problem with that thinking is we’re missing (possibly deliberately) the actual problem, and that is a lack of self discipline. That thinking also perpetuates that procrastination, because it’s a hard thing to resolve. Procrastination is a habit which you are constantly reinforcing.
Discipline is doing something you know is the right thing even if you don’t feel like it. It can be practiced in many small ways, similar to habits.
A good tip is even if you don’t feel like doing something, do something, to reinforce discipline and the habit, I mean any tiny thing (there will be loads when you think about it). Eg. Exercise. Instead of saying ‘nah I don’t feel like it’, get up anyway and do something, anything, say 1 press up perhaps. Chances are you’ll do more. You’re practising detaching the thinking from the action. I use this same approach with exercise as do expenses. The technique is exactly the same, and the results can be pretty amazing.

it’s just a perception, and simplistic in the extreme. Children are unfairly the object of criticism for this type of behavior for two main reasons; the ‘idea’ that kids understand the value of nothing, because they don’t know what it is to earn something, and secondly that ‘we’ had it worse than they do today.

Truth is, this behavior is arguably more prevalent in adults. And they have no excuses.
Nevertheless, we’re all products of a society that conditions us to behave this way.

He has had the xbox taken away and banned from Beavers and football for a fortnight.

Both football and Beavers are very positive activities, especially in the context of learning about and understanding ‘other people’, and developing important social skills. I don’t understand the logic of withdrawing those as a punishment, I think you have over reacted but with good intentions.

I had this but with sexism, and a slightly older boy. I simply explained firmly it was wrong and led by example, repeating the message over the coming weeks and being observant. I commanded enough respect and authority that it didn’t need ‘punishment’. Not a dig, but something to think about. In my view if punishments are needed for minor attitude adjustments, there are bigger issues.

Instead pratically every arm was in the air, holding up an iPhone, recording the thing.

That’s just people being dicks. Many millions more have the same devices and don’t act like that. See also guns, cars, etc.

Lost 2 stone this year.
Eating what I like un-tracked but cutting out the crap (eating ‘clean’, natural, non processed foods, no bulky carbs; bread, pasta), and weight training.

I focused hard on changing habits, get rid of the idea it’s a ‘diet’, it’s a habit you need to change. And play the long game too, concentrate on changing your habit, not on the results. The results will come in time.

Remove friction and resistance; get the weights in your house or garage, avoid gyms – they suck money and time both will be friction especially in winter. Keep it simple, so you only need to bring the will to get it done.

Only good foods in the house – I got my own fridge and cupboard space.

Be realistic, we’re only human. If you have cake on a weekend, it will make no difference. Eating cake every day does make a difference. The effect of habit over time. This is why fad diets fail.

You do not need to run to lose weight or get fit. You need to run to get better at running.

Set some small goals.

Get up early and get after those goals. Good luck.

CE/BCE been around a very long time (pre 19th century?), has become more common in past two decades as it is now used by academic and science institutions, and government.

Atheists make up a very tiny fraction of the two thirds of the global population that are not Christian, it’s not an atheist thing.

Fun graphic, but that’s all it is, fun :-)

practice acceptance, then you’ll just laugh which is much better for you, your health and anyone sharing the car with you.
No amount of ‘rage’ is going to change the behavior of anyone, it’s about the most futile waste of energy I can think of, and life is way too short to spend it angry at strangers however stupid they are.

I take propranolol for anxiety, but only every when I need it, not continuously. That’s how it was prescribed, and it works brilliantly for me. It takes between 1-2 hours to have an affect, and I’ll take 40 or 80mg’s depending on the circumstances I’m expected to face.
I also exercise, regularly – running 3 times a week no problems, props doesn’t affect that for me, even on days I take it.

The only side affect for me is it disrupts sleep, but I’m taking that over the total panic that was preventing me doing my job.
For me it was a short term fix to allow me to get through specific work scenarios whilst I resolved underlying issues.
Panic attacks were brought on by splitting with my wife coinciding with a very challenging project at work.
That said, I always carry them in my bag, just in case. Miracle drug for me and saved my arse at work.

Went low carb/no sugar few months ago, weight has dropped off, 2 stone and still going.
I never really had a sweet tooth, but, I found eating better reduced any craving anyway, and now I can’t tolerate sweet foods at all.

No science or measuring, I just read the basic principles and changed diet. It doesn’t feel like a diet, can’t imagine eating any other way now. Presume my weight will settle eventually.

Typical day is; 2/3 eggs, avocado, tomato, any other random veg fro breakfast. Canned fish slice of hi protein lo-carb bread for lunch, meat and veg for dinner, pork stir fry being a favorite.

I also do weight training 3 times a week, and run twice. That’s it.

I drink quite a bit – red wine normally, at least a glass a day.

depends on your perspective. I think sitting on your arse in front of a tv is insane, always have. World keeps turning.

they get away with it, because people tolerate it. Such is life.

why do you have to ‘get it’?
Live and let live, and let it be etc. People like different stuff.

Never got these threads :-)

I don’t ‘get’ the appeal of soap operas, and the bloody Archers, but you know millions do, and that’s totally cool.

the very thing we as a nation fought against.
What an angry, fearful, paranoid little island this has become.

we can ignore the will of the people if it puts this country at serious risk. That will play out over the coming months and years.

You could probably get a majority vote for all kinds of crazy shit, it never makes it right.

the word advisory was never used in the run up to the vote. The voters believe it was a decision, the language used was about the nation deciding, Cameron said it in his resignation speech again. Irrespective of the legal terms of the referendum.

My point is, the terms of the referendum should have been debated fully, and the terms agreed and publicised.

Referendums should only be used for internal matters affecting the government directly. To have a referendum that immediately affects the UK’s standing in the world and how we are perceived as a people and nation is a failure of planning and politics by our present government.

the approach should have been to hold a referendum to gauge the nations opinion, NOT make a decision.

With a majority in favour of leaving, we could have gone back to the negotiating table in the EU with a clear mandate.

not a coldplay fan at all, but loving this, great energy.

agree most interesting in my lifetime, but also the most concerning. I’m deeply worried about where this country is going and what is happening, this is made worse by the startled faces of politicians. There appears to have been no plan for this outcome, at all.
We need very strong leadership and fast. This vacuum will only feed the now emboldened extreme right wing.
If one thing does still unite all of us it’s that absolutely nobody wants to suffer.

Once ‘leavers’ get over calling the ‘remainers’ ‘sore losers’, like it’s a game of **** cards we’re playing here, we’ll hopefully begin to unite and hold our government to account properly.

you do not need your polling card.
Just turn up at the right polling station.

My wife did, £340. Tbh highly suspicious. They’ve been a nightmare to deal with over the years, endless cockups, so wouldn’t surprise me one bit if it’s another system error.
Cheque banked for now….

Makes **** all difference if she was ‘one of the good ones’.

Tragic.

2 x 40 mins, once in morning once in evening, actual time is deliberately variable due to previous issues with a pestering dog bark at 5.30 am. Greyhound so 40 mins is top end realistically, he’ll continue to plod beyond that but at a snails pace.

Pretty much asleep the rest of the time!