Though not uniquely so I think we’re particularly bad for this in England.
Very reserved, hung up on class and status, passive aggressive by default.

I’m reminded of a time I was touring through France by bike, in the campsites you could spot the English a mile off, they’d be the ones who had built ‘walls’ around their pitch with wind breaks, or who got sniffy about shared ablutions. :lol:

I’m also prone to this, especially so being from Norfolk, but I recognise it and actively do stuff to get over it by volunteering, but my partner has way more success with baking cakes for neighbours :lol:

it’s faintly depressing that we need a minister for this, wit’s symptomatic of a society seemingly unable to lead themselves.

You don’t need a ‘widget’ to ignore someone.
Perhaps learn to engage calmly with someone who has different opinions or deliberately annoys, or just leave it and move on with your life.
Those who troll/annoy/argue incessantly are fed by those who cannot let it go, both equally bad for any thread.
I don’t have a need to block anyone, and haven’t argued with anyone either for these reasons, and I’d hazard a guess that’s the same with most on here.

yes agree, I did think about acknowledging that factor. I mean pitched against each other as individuals, it compounds the misery of being without a tribe. (feelings of inadequacy, isolation etc)
Although ‘tribalism’ in this context can of course be unhealthy (football hooliganism etc). But it is still an instinct.

I’ve read ‘Tribe’ twice, it’s excellent and interesting because I think instinctively we all know what makes us feel good, and that is working with others for something good. We’ve evolved for the struggle to survive, doing that alone would once mean death. We each are wired to perform a particular role within a tribe to contribute to that struggle. We are definitely not wired to be pitched against each other in a wholly contrived ‘struggle’. Evolutionary alarm bells are ringing like crazy in a lot of peoples heads for that reason.
Simply put, we live as fish out of water, and in severe distress.

Good article, but not a new revelation, and as shermer75 days, I think it’s generally acknowledged now that drugs treat symptoms only and provide some respite from those symptoms to enable you to deal with underlying issues.

That said, from my own experiences as a ‘service user’ thankfully now almost 10 years ago, the advice that you had some kind of chemical inbalance in the brain was not only wrong but I think potentially harmful to vulnerable patients. I knew others who took on their mental illness as an identity, resigning themselves to it as a permanent disability, something they were born with and would forever live with.

I was hospitalised twice under section for depression, it was a horrifying few years of my life. But in my experience one of the most terrifying parts was the slow realisation that there is no help really, no magic fix or drug, and the experts had virtually no understanding. How can anyone who hasn’t had depression really understand, let alone treat the illness?
I realised eventually I had to fix myself, so I rebuilt my life. It has taken years of pain and hard work, and I’m thankfully now more happy than ever before.

When this comes up I always try to think of a simple one liner to explain my thoughts and conclusions by way of advice. But it’s difficult to do.
However really it’s this; we have not evolved to live in artificially lit air conditioned boxes doing meaningless tasks, worse still despite what society (parents, schools, peers, the government) tell you it’s not what you are ‘supposed’ to do.

If I could pick three things…
You must; 1)gain some control over your working life, be productive, creative and find meaning in what you are doing, 2) stay fit by going outdoors (not in a gym), 3) find community, volunteer, care for others.

thanks for linking the article.

Emailed
Have no excuses, but have put on 1.5 stone this year. So the goal is to lose it.

Cheers.

I bought a psvr and PS4 pro in the recent sales and been very happy with both. I’m more of a pc gamer but just didn’t fancy it on pc, just gut feeling.
Psvr was a low cost low risk buy in and out of the box solution but the tipping point was Skyrim. I’ve since bought farpoint, resident evil 7, doom, dirt rally, rush of blood and a variety of smaller demo style experiences and games (vr worlds etc). I also bought the move controllers and the aim controller.

I think too much attention to graphics is missing the point and is old thinking from flatscreen gaming.The graphics are a factor but I only notice if I look for it, the sense of being in the world is still often overwhelming. It’s emerging tech as pointed out so you pick your entry point. For me the psvr hits the sweet spot between accessibility, functionality, cost.

It’s fun for all too, you can see on the big screen what’s going on, it’s been a massive hit in our house.

I also disagree with the idea that this is a tech better used in driving or other simulator games. For me the sense of being in the world is most profound in games interacting with other people, either ai or human (rec room for example). Stand too close and I feel the same awkwardness as if I’m real life.
Try as I might I cannot convince my brain that those jumping spiders in farpoint are not real and I don’t need to cower when they jump at my face.

Overall though it’s amazing to imagine where this will go, for me as a 45 year old gamer it’s the most amazing leap I’ve experienced since twisting a paddle and watching a line move in a black and white tv.

Best game out of the bunch I’ve bought is Farpoint with the aim controller. In pvp you get a real sense of where we’re going with this tech. Also The Heist, for the full feeling of just being in the presence of others in another world.

Article (note NOT an essay) seems preoccupied with the idea that ‘what others think’ matters. society, peers, women, employers.
Which is ironic given I would suggest this is exactly the problem. Stop naval gazing and just be the best version of you, and take ownership of your responsibilities.

That’s how propranolol works. You definitely need to take it for several days before it has effect.

For me it was prescribed to be taken 2-3 hours before the ‘event’ that causes severe anxiety/panic only. I don’t take it any other time, certainly not days before.
For that it works brilliantly for me, but took a little experimenting to find the correct dose.

also going through this, but with 5 teenagers, 2 mine, 3 hers. It’s very tough. I have no wisdom, but for what its worth I live with her and mine visit every other weekend. They’re all between 16-19. The approach is she manages hers, I manage mine. Hers a a nightmare compared to mine, so I coach in background, but don’t deal directly. That is very very difficult however, and I have on rare occasion just left the room for fear of ‘stepping in’ cack handedly.

As an aside, at no other point during the years of raising kids has it been as hard as it is now. Good grief. 8O

Jocko podcast
Joe rogan
Dan Carlin (hardcore history and common sense)

respectfully, any comparison to what we do for animals is vastly simplifying the issue. It relies on the assumption that assisted dying is always ‘better treatment’, whether it is or not is exactly the argument here. We have the capacity to reason and contemplate our own mortality, which is why we cannot make that comparison to treatment of animals and that this is such a morally complex problem.

The article (which is a precis of the book so not that detailed), details a pretty limited example, obviously (as its her experience). Though she would prefer to keep it specific to her particular case you cannot avoid the wider moral issues surrounding this subject.
Unfortunately despite her view simply disregarding anyone else’s opinion unless they have experienced first hand someone in PVS is not possible, taking the emotion out of these decisions is part of the dilemma which is why previously these cases are brought to court – for an objective, reasoned, non-emotional analysis. We must all be involved in that discussion.

I am currently contemplating this very thing greatly at the moment, due to a close relative suffering an acute stroke at the weekend.
As the article mentions, it’s an all at once confusing mish mash of conflicting thoughts and actually I find myself being cross that we artificially support life for so long after useful life. But who am I to say?

An atheist goes to a community gathering, that happens to be in a church.
As mentioned religions don’t have a monopoly on this kind of thing.
Capitalist societies undermine community spirit; competitiveness is good for business. We have to find a way to bring community back, without religion.

don’t really see how age is a consideration. Physical fitness, attitude, usual stuff, was more important.
In my experience of doing Judo in my 40’s, and recently starting BJJ, older members in the group tend to have a lot less ego-baggage, which makes for better training all round.
I just find it very interesting for the physical and mental challenge. Couldn’t give a monkeys whether I can defend myself ‘on teh streetz’.

We are designed

Nope 8)

We play Catan and Carcassonne, and also Arkham Horror for some hardcore long play co-op.

…and just bought Small World for the weekend :lol:

Loved the Simon Sinek video, sums it up very well, the most pertinent point for me being the “total lack of leadership”.
It’s all over this thread, and in the work places, in government, everywhere.
Basic leadership of the self, and of others.
‘Millenials’ need support and guidance, like every other generation entering the world before it. Like we did. They don’t need ‘breaking’, being told ‘this is how it is’, or ‘I didn’t get this, so why should you?’.

The problem is less of a perceived entitlement, but more one of envy by older generations, a kind of ‘welcome to the grind, suck it up snowflake’, aimed at a generation who have grown up in unprecedented luxury.

I’ve had graduates on teams, some with difficult attitudes. I just listen and learn, find compromise, and guide. Everyone can benefit from fresh ideas, energy, and the absence of cynicism.

Check your ego, de-escalate and leave. That’s ‘growing a pair’.

Excellent, thanks for the link

I went through this (also bipolar), but didn’t have a gap in my cv, just a mahoosive amount of time off sick which is something that was asked about in the application.
I wrestled with my conscience for ages about declaring it, but erred on the side of honesty. What happened in my case was an occupational health rep had a chat with me, nothing else was said about it, and I got the job.

I was mostly worried about discrimination, having been on the recruiting side before I’m well aware of what goes on irrespective of the rules.

I’ve long since considered myself ‘well’, my problems were life related I’ve always disagreed with my diagnosis, but it’s surprising how ‘being well’ isn’t reflected in many areas of life – eg. I still cannot get life insurance 10 years beyond diagnosis, and at least 5 in very good health. And I’ve only recently been able to get a driving licence that didnt need a medical every year. It feels like a permanent disability, which is frankly just shit, especially when you’re trying to put it behind you.

this ‘deal’ with the DUP was probably a quick phone call “…would you?” and obviously the DUP bit her hand off, they’re only now discussing it. She has naively (because as we know she has virtually no political savvy beyond power at all cost), made a ‘lets get to work’ speech as if it’s all business as usual and marched into Number 10 to apparent ‘raptuous applause’ like some great savior.
She’s delusional, with breath taking arrogance and hubris she is willfully ignoring everyone on this ridiculous idea that she alone can take this country through one of its most challenging economic and political times.

The tories and May have attempted to exploit brexit and fear and mistakenly taken it as a mandate to lurch to the right and secure themselves decades of power, destroying the opposition in the process with a snap election.

Half the people may have decided, but you cannot ignore the other half. We must now all work together to make it the best possible outcome for the country, despite her saying otherwise she has failed to foster that. We need visionary strong leadership to build a bipartisan consensus that sends our absolute best team into the negotiations.

what is education really?
What we’ve come to understand as education is entirely arbitrary, and arguably designed around the needs of feeding a capitalist society that needs compliant educated conformists to fill offices where your time is exchanged for tokens with which you can buy shiny things, intoxicate yourself, or buy a little bit of life back.

It teaches nothing about the true value of living on this amazing planet, sharing experiences with others, about good virtues like resilience, humility, a sense of adventure, critical thinking, leadership, making the absolute most of every day and being the best you can be.

What you’ll all gain by doing this cannot be measured, and you can sit an exam for it :lol:
But you’ll have memories, shared experiences, you’ll grow as individuals, your minds will open and appreciate that there is more to life.

Outside the tent is a playground, a huge, massive, bloody brilliant playground. Shove your kids outside then sit back and relax with a nice glass or two of wine.

And this is why camping has become not so fun in my post-children years :lol:
However I would rather be more selective and find the right place for my preferences, than stop kids being outside having fun, obvs.

polling station is next door. It’s really busy, but best thing is seeing people out and walking! Sometimes whole families.

labour, for first time in my life.
But I’m in an ultra safe tory seat, so won’t matter beyond making me feel better for a little while.

Everything else aside, May is not suitable to lead, she is a backroom bureaucrat, not someone who can effectively lead (in all the well established traditional sense of the word). She’s plainly terrified of facing common people, so she can’t possibly know or understand common people.
I couldn’t vote for any party with such a weak leader.

Good for him.
If more people had the courage to be able to stand up and confront leaders (rather than make snide comments from behind a screen), we might actually get the leaders we need.

complaint? He should count his blessings, take the lessons, and move on.
Life isn’t fair.

I use teuxdeux.com, spent a couple of years on todoist, I just prefer the simplicity of teuxeux.

For the purposes of finding a relationship you get out what you put in really, the site or method is largely irrelevant.
Tinder I found good for ‘volume’, very easy to build up a big list, but I found the small talky bit tedious and not really reliable in understanding the person behind the screen before meeting, it’s also used a lot by those who like to stroke their egos.

Pay sites play on peoples insecurities that a paywall gets them a higher class of date, problem with that is the crazies think that too. I found no difference in quality between free and pay sites.
I found PoF perfectly adequate, and I met an amazing woman through there 6 months ago.

If you’re just honest and use common sense you’ll have no issues on any site. There are some damaged types of course, but there are also as many lovely people who are desperate to find someone equally normal amongst the chaff, so make it easy for them.
I found best results were a very honest and brief profile with a sensible picture of you alone in a preferred environment, well written messages that are polite and respectful.

Also, except in some extreme cases, ignore the picture. Just communicate with the human being.

you cannot ‘test’ for attentiveness, common sense, apathy, selfishness, which is a cause of many problems and complaints. It isn’t driving ‘skill’ that should be re-tested or improved.
Removing the human from the machine is the way forward.

recently built the BMW GS 1200, a treat whilst on leave. First Lego model in many years and was amazed at the quality. I got it for £45 and it really did feel like a massive indulgence, but actually the whole process of building and the finished model felt well worth it, fills me with childlike joy :lol:

I’d love to know how they design these things, the way the BMW went together was incredible.
Think it may tip me over the edge for the Porsche, which is down to around £170ish in places now.

if you’re bothered about waiting times, then it isn’t an emergency, and you’re in the wrong place 8)

fb encourages exactly the kind of behavior that led to this post :D
Concerning yourself too much about what others think of you.

I left, and like the metaphorical ex-smoker it makes me happy to point out how bad it is, and how good I feel now, breathing the fresh air of smug self-satisfaction and improved self-esteem :lol:

I practically live on stir fry, and have an induction hob. I bought a proper induction hob wok (they exist). I didn’t notice any difference in functionality, taste, or my satisfaction. 8)

Good luck mate, be strong.

I’m 45 this year, it’s awesome so grateful to be alive and kicking life in the face daily, my best years are ahead. Why on earth would you waste your life worrying about stuff you cannot do anything about? Embrace the old and work harder than you’ve ever worked before. I love being tired, means I’ve done something and got purpose.
First day back on the climbing wall today with my boy after recovering from yet another injury. Good. If you’re not almost permanently injured, you’re not doing enough :lol:
Comfort is a killer, and not a viable life goal.

Happy birthday.

Inspiring thread.

I’m an IT project manager, replete with industry standard Audi. :|

No don’t enjoy it. I’m not really an IT project manager, or a manager, or ‘anything’ in an office. But it pays enormously well for what I actually do, I get away with doing a pretty bad job in a relativity easy place to work and I’m very autonomous. If I can manage to balance that with other life stuff I’ll be ok (hence recently taken up volunteering).

Lots of food for thought here though. My latest ‘project’ is a 3 year career change plan.

Officers served with gross misconduct notices
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/feb/22/police-officers-under-investigation-after-tasering-own-race-adviser

There does seem to be a lot of retirement age folk doing it, as well as youngsters. Not many in between (which is where I am) for obvious reasons I guess. But my kids are grown up/live with mum, so mostly I’m on my own.
Obviously I cant clock big hours, but weekends and a couple of evenings a week no problem.
It’s very daunting, huge amount to take on-board, but everyone I’ve met is an absolute inspiration.

Very simple premise, and a good book (amusing ourselves to death).
We’re already there, question now is can the bullwarks of rational thinking hold out(journalism, science), and if they can, will anyone actually listen (or read!) :lol: