it's 'spectacles', not 'glasses'…

Oh TFFT, I thought the mighty boil was draining away my intelligence when I didn't get it the first time.

Maybe a Dremel and THEN gaffer tape, if we're going down the real man route?

tried to cable tie a tesco torch to my head

How's the ghetto, Soob…?

Fair enough Andy, the troll accusation was in jest anyway: I was just worried it might all flame up and some retarded helmet debate would start.

WHICH IS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. mmmm'kay?

Nah, it's defo not just a spot. I'm a bit of an expert on spots cos I have my fair share and throughly enjoy, against medical advice, squeezing them. There's no squeezing this bad boy and the swelling around it is insane: it's encroaching on my eye socket and I can't open my left eye all the way!

It is to a spot as Terminator is to Robosapien.

Tracker, nooooo! (in slow-motion) This thread's not about helmets or not…

And Andy, I thought you were trolling…!

Ah, and I see the doctor is IN :-) Now, about my boil…

bridge?

Yeah, bridge. Things live under them….

it's not going to help me in a crash

Everyone off the bridge! NOW!!!!!

WHAT???? ARE YOU MAD????? PIckign a trail centre based on tyres????

Surely YOU should TAKE TYRES SPECFIFIC TO THE TRAILS!!!!!!???!?!

(Is that the reaction you were after, dear? ;-))

Best bet if you're worried about maintenance is to give the bike to me: then you never have to worry again.

But Andy, aren't you worried that the light could make your helmet more dangerous?? Possibly as dangerous as a mouse-sized piece of plutonium???

And I'll worry on your behalf, no probs, just don't ask me to pray for you.

Maybe the helmet is purely to hold the lights?

Oh yeah, genius! That would certainly be easier than trying to tie lights to your head using your hair…

Sounds like Monkeychild needs Scruff's tyres and vice-versa: job done!

EDIT: you mean the moon doesn't taste of Marmite…? What's the **** POINT then?!?!???

Nah, I'm not talking about wearing a hlemet or not wearing a helmet, basically I'm just worried that people have this perception that helmets make your ride safer but then they go and stuff their helmet's ability to actually make it safer by strapping shite to it. Why wear the hlemet if you're gonna make it dangerous? I'm certain the helmet manufacturers wouldn't approve.

fast rolling and quite puncture resistant

Perhaps I could also interest sir in the moon on a stick…?

if you landed in a bunch of rocks

Oh yeah, I hadn't thought about rocks (I try not to) but I think my main concern is people on the road: I'm sure there are people on here that commute by bike (surely one or two…?) and that have lights somewhere on their helmet. I see loads of other commuters doing it and I do worry.

Worry, worry, worry.

Ah, the fabled SI headset top washer!!

We keep one or two of these frankly priceless articles secreted in secret spots in the workshop as they are often needed when a feckless Cannondale-owner (no offence) thinks it'll be clever to try and work on their bike themselves.

Again, a Cannondale dealer can order one for you, but as they are often too stoned to answer the phone at Cannondale Europe, there'll be a wait…

The whole anti/pro helmet thing will never go away and I've ceased to give a t@ss but I do worry (possibly too much, Pies), whilst commuting mainly, about the number of people that have lights attached the front, top, back, sides of their helmet. They're wearing a lid in the belief that it will reduce the risk of injury but then they compromise what the helmet can do by attaching random hard things to it.

Assuming this isnt a troll, which i suspect it is, i will answer

Covering your bases, like it, like it.

I was more worried about a light concentrating forces on one point of the helmet thus making a failure-to-protect more likely.

And what about all those lights that attach with straps that definitely won't fail.

Gotta be Cannondale, sadly. Try BETD for bearings (maybe…) but if not a Connondale dealer can order them for you (though Cannondale are astonishingly rubbish at sending stuff out so be prepared for a wait).

Gorilla-sized condoms

NEW FLASH – UPDATE

Oh you lot are gonna love this:

http://g-s.fotopic.net/p61799033.html

I woke up this morning to find that the swelling around it has got so bad that I can't open my eye properly.

Think I might have to MTFD a bit and go to the hospital. When they ask I'm gonna give my name as 'Joseph Merrick'.

You never forget your first ****, ay Sam?

There's defiintely a certain amount of unsupervised-male conversation on here after a certain time of night…

Yeah, and make sure you get a petition going.

Shit, you're twice the man I'll ever be.

Shame you didn't use yer light saber though…

Jedi, dude, Jeremy Beadle is dead… :-(

get the potato peeler out

Like your style though!! :-D

you seem to have a spot

But, like I said, it hurts…

And that video is truly inspiring: I know what you mean about the satisfaction angle!

Holy all hallows! That looks just like this bird I pulled last weekend…!

I prescribe a big does of MTFU

But it hurts…

you need antibiotics

But I've never had antibiotics in my life – what if it kills all the friend;y gut bacteria I've worked three decades on…?

Ok you sick voyeurs, but it ain't pretty, or actually that exciting:

http://g-s.fotopic.net/c1773648.html

Prolax? I thought Picolax was the weapon of choice on here…

No liquid centre, just a mass of tender pain.

Is anyone on here medically qualified???

Doctors you say, I should go, ay? Hmmm, well that would be damn inconvenient…

Can I feel it? CAN I FEEL IT????? Something with the mass of Jupiter has entered orbit in the skin under my forehead and you're asking if I can FEEL IT????

Yes, I can feel it.

But I'd rather not as it hurts. A lot.

If I had the guts, I'd video it, but I'll probs scream like a girl.

That video is PRICELESS: I can only dream of the relief the guy must be feeling. I hope he's drunk though cos it must hurt so fricking much. I particularly like the way he keeps asking ot be shown the results…

Is it a boil? Well, it's got no head despite a massive chamber of cack under the surface (which is astonishingly annoying) and is tender as the night.

Believe me, you don't want pics…

Despite being vegan I enjoy making "cruel and callous" comments about animals:

**** heck, spiny anteaters look REALLY stupid.

Flambé…

Is there a version with knuckle-dusters…?

I love people's reactions to Danny's stunts. You can just imagine the girl in that video saying, "Mummy, daddy, come quick, some f"cking nutjob just jumped off a f"cking wall on his f"cking pushbike!"

But what was with the fly…?

Wait, I DO have a reason to own a Pugsley: it's cos they're SOOO great for dirt jumping:

http://gallery.mtbr.com/showphoto.php/photo/190061

Aw man, I want one of each of them!!!!

And a garage.

And a reason to own them…

Nah, the one with the silly-big tyres is defo the Pugsley.

I've had lower back pain for all of my adult life and, curiously, cycling seems to be one of the few things that don't make it hurt.

A few bits of advice:

1) Stretch, apparently.

2) Strengthen your back and abdominal muscles with exercises (to be found in many places on the web).

3) As your pain is fairly recent I'd get it seen to ASAP. I wish I'd pushed doctors into taking more notice of my pain rather than letting them send me away with a leaflet. Seriously, if it doesn't sort itself soon, get it sorted with medical help.

Good luck!

Thank you, kind sir.

Now why wouldn't the verdumpty search let me find that???

(Edit: That's right, I'm blaming the search facility, not my inability to use it.)