Nothing to contribute on the marriage advice front, but avdave, I think you are a stellar bloke for helping your neighbours out, I’m sure they think the world of you.

I’ve noticed a few depression threads on here the past couple of days.
It’s reminded me how valuable this forum can be in terms of sharing insights and information.
Time for my tea, but look after yourselves, all. 8)

@molgrips talks a lot of sense
Just out of interest, how is your wife now? Did she seek professional help?

It’s an alright place to spend your years.
New Zealand is better though.

Sorry to hear you aren’t feeling too good MoreCash.
There is also an online CBT course, which a GP can direct you too. It’s free under the NHS, they give you a password to access it.

It’s not just down to Victorian stigma. The point about a physical injury is that it can be healed and then that person is back to normal.
With mental illness, employers are always going to think, will this keep on happening?
That’s the main reason people prefer to keep it secret.
But as you say, things have moved on a lot and a more open culture is to be welcomed.

have you asked your dentist?

I should have phrased my original post differently, as I don’t actually see the dentist.

I only see the hygienist, I’m wondering if she may be taking me for a ride with every 4 months rather than the standard 6, as I havent needed any work on them, no fillings so far.

I don’t think an affair is the answer.

+1

Do you have any friends nearby you can chat to about it?

Although I wasn’t married, I was in a similar situation a couple of years back with a gf who was very troubled, and the support of my friends helped massively.

They’re not free (in England).

Given our national stereotype for bad teeth, the government should pay us to go to promote “Britain is Great”.

How can it be a scam if a check up is free?

Sorry my bad. I normally go for a checkup and they end up doing a clean up, normally comes to around £60 English pounds.

No experience of this but you can also teach in the UK, as another possible option.

On the medication side, she sounds to be in a bad way, so I would have an open mind about that. Sometimes they are needed for short-term bouts of depression and anxiety.
And of course tell her you love her – even if you don’t get much of a reaction from this, it can actually do a lot of good.
Be open and honest with the GP, they see this all the time, and will help get you through it.
Best of luck.

China (along with low interest rates and money printing) got the global economy out of the last mess.
Now China is struggling (how badly, we don’t know), and the central banks have no other policy weapons other than negative interest rates (which could be on their way).

I also wonder if the sheer volume of share buybacks going on, being used to boost earnings per share rations will, in time, be considered massive fraud…

I’d agree. But in a zombie economy, fraud can be dressed up as meaningful economic growth.

Dylan set to be named England captain according to the bbc – suspect that’s why Tom Youngs is dropped from squad, can’t have a player better than the captain on the bench!

I think this is a bad appointment. I see the reasoning, Hartley is a top player, and Eddie Jones wants to make his mark and appoint a captain whose the polar opposite of Robshawe. I would have gone for Dan Cole, but maybe he didn’t want it, who knows.

badnewz Difficult and horrible for her, but would you really rather they stayed together in a marriage which fundementally wasn’t working, developing years of bitterness and loathing. Perhaps she now be able will meet someone more worthy of her? Marriage is a mutual endeavour, not a sentence. Surely?

It’s a tough one mate. There were clearly problems in the marriage, so we weren’t surprised it ended. But I have a nagging feeling that if marriage was taken more seriously, and harder to get out of, he wouldn’t have acted the way he did, in my opinion getting away scot free (he pays child maintenance, but has since had another kid).

I suppose my issue is what a vulnerable position the whole thing put her and my family in, as she couldn’t afford the house on her own (I offered to step in but she didn’t want that). She now rents nearby, and we are looking at extending our place so she and her kids have the option of moving in at some point. This is the saving fact of the situation, we have our own place, no mortgage, so the option is always there.

Sorry to derail the thread a bit, the situation has been getting to me recently and felt the need to write about it.

It’s a nice place, I’m sure it will sell, give it another month.

Late to this thread…it’s an interesting one, as I see it civil partnerships for heterosexual couples are controversial for some people because they would be seen to weaken the case for marriage.
But marriage is now a very weak institution anyway, especially since no-fault divorce.
I say this as a very bitter brother, whose sister has suffered horribly since her husband left her for another woman and got out of his marriage easier than your average car rental agreement.
The statistics on lower divorce rates aren’t historically meaningful since the marriage rate is so historically low in the first place. Many people are not getting married in the first place, but still having children and then splitting up – thirty years ago they would have most likely been married.

Sorry for the people that have had harrowing experiences and yes some people’s lives are devastated by alcoholism, but many many more people’s lives don’t necessarily fall apart simply because they experience a period of alcohol abuse

Yunki makes a good point. We can catastrophise a situation when someone is using alcohol to self-medicate through a nervous breakdown, as could be happening in this case. That is not the same thing as long-term alcoholism, although obviously there is the possibility for reactive heavy drinking to lead to it.

@astormatt, very sorry to hear about your dad. You could go see your GP, maybe get some counselling, there is lots of non-judgemental help out there.

Depends on their age. My main concern over kids hanging out in villages is things like boozing and drugs use, as “there’s nothing to do”.

My cousin had it reconstructed in the summer. He is a 20something non-league footballer and put in lots of physio on his own, I saw him over the weekend and he says it’s all fine now. He was on crutches for a month or so.

Surely her family are aware of her whereabouts? Unless they are not close at all…

Never realised it had withdrawal symptoms. Another thing to worry about!

Business idea: Singletrackworld package holidays.
For the riders who can’t stand the British winter.

From what I read of your previous posts, it’s clear he is suffering from severe depression after the breakup of his marriage. He might be trying to self-medicate with booze to ward off a nervous breakdown. If that’s the case then he probably needs to go on medication as part of reducing the drinking.
He’s clearly in a bad state, and it is at least one positive that he’s seen his GP.
The problem with taking him to the pub for a drink is he won’t be able to stop drinking in his current condition.

My best mate moved up to the Borders a few years back from London. His wife is Scottish so they had family up there, and also inherited a house.
Another friend went up as a schoolkid with his parents and was pretty badly bullied at first for being English.

I know people for whom it really works. I would suggest given it a go but with regular appointments at your GP, as I said there are other medications available and it’s about finding what works for you.
CBT and counselling also have their place.

It didn’t help me, made me feel unwell and made me more anxious…but there are other medications out there so find what works for you.

TV.

Is it Shadow from Gladiators?

This thread could be retitled, Why not to have kids.
But it will always end up with, “But I wouldn’t swap em for the world”.

Absolute clincher. There are ways around it but the net is life.

Waiting to hear back re a job interview…it sucks.

Go on, name “His Royal Highness”.
I’m guessing it’s either Tony Blair or Boris Johnson (whose childhood ambition was to be “World king”).

NHS is a blackhole, which is fundamentally unsustainable with an ageing population, an increasing number of whom are living to a ripe old age many years after they retire.
It’s a pickle…but I’d rather drop dead at 65 and be done with it than go to endless hospital appointments whilst sucking yet more money which should be going to future generations.
An unpopular view, I understand.

I think you are living in a fantasy land

30 years is a long time…let’s just say I’m in for the longhaul!

Early twenties I turned down an offer to talk dirty down the phone to ladies for money.

Don’t s’pse you know if they are still recruiting by any chance?

It’s hard to separate the danger from the thrill.
I find the snooker gets my heart racing more than F1 these days.

I am completely unfamiliar with the person you qoute but it seems strange and contradictory to argue they can only be dynamic if they are static.

Bergson argued that societies can only become dynamic if they have a static base (i.e. conservative institutions). An example I would use is someone like Michelangelo, a dynamic, radical artist who could not have achieved what he did without the support of a conservative institution.

Followers of Karl Popper, a vastly overrated philosopher IMO, instead argue that a dynamic society can only exist if it effectively declares war on static, traditionalist elements. That is certainly what has happened in the UK in the last 30 years, but I think we are now reaching a watershed, and there will probably be a traditionalist / conservative reaction over the next 30 years (strong nation states, low immigration, even the resurgence of religion).

The world’s tallest man is in the pit next door to Ronald.

The most flammable substance in the second photo is the hair gel.
No premature baldness those days, either.