I've just googled my favourite type of sandwich but I don't think I can safely put a link to it on here.

I've got a mudguard and by the time I got to work this morning my waterproof shorts were covered in mud.

Trimix have you actually tried any?

Is there anybody here has used them and then decided no I prefer a cold wet chaffing?

Are you missing something? No it's the rest of us missing a sore wet arse.

Remember the chances of coming across an axe wielding psychopath are very rare. To reduce the possibility to zero carry an axe with you. The chances of two axe wielding psychopaths in the same woods are so high as to be virtually impossible.

Rohloff here. Rode through the crap to work today, all run a rag over the chain add a bit more GT85 and that's it done. If the weight of the mud gets too much then I'll hose it down but I don't do that too often. It's been running for over 3 years now as an everyday commuter, the first 2 years on road and coming up to 18 months off road. I've changed the oil once a year and replaced the chain and rear cog at 3 years and reversed the chainring. I could have just reversed the cog as well but chose not to as the outer surface which was pitted would have been forming an oil seal once reversed. At the time I changed everything it was all still running perfectly and I did it as a precaution as I didn't know how much longer the chain would last and I assumed , wrongly as it turned out, that when changing the rear cog I would have to do an oil change. The shifter cables are all original and have had no maintenance. They are not the Rohloff ones but I think Shimano XT cables which are what Thorn recommend and they probably have more experience with the hub than anyone else in the UK. I like many didn't like the shifter to start with but now would't change it even if someone came up with a trigger shifter for it. One of the things I've found I really like is the ability to shift when stopped. I think it's something I'd really miss if I went back to dérailleurs. As for value for money I'll only really know the answer to that when it eventually dies. I want to try a belt drive in the future as well as that would go a long way to overcoming the weight penalty of a hub gear. Another endorsement for the EBB here as well.

I've told my boss that the first thing I'll do when I win the lottery is to buy a dirty rusty but legal old camper and park it outside his house. Oh and it'll be a proper home-made job at that.

You've got to think outside the post box here. You cannot do anything about the fact that the letter is posted but you can do something about the fact that it appears to be premature. Something like this…

I hope he left you that carpet as well, that really is fantastic.

Sam a noble effort but I get the feeling that were past the constructive stage. However there is the position of President of Europe available and your ability not to get dragged in to this stupidity and still offer useful and informative input means you'll get my vote. Well you would get my vote if it were a democratic decision.

Mitch which of those tools do you think he'll use first on your testicles?

Just looked back and I don't think this is the guy who tortures slappers in the woods. But right back near the start of all this I'm sure such a person was involved. I haven't been this confused since the backwards talking midget turned up in Twin Peaks.

DT87 I've also played darts in Geneva. Travelled all over the world and I think Geneva is the only place where I've walked into a bar and seen darts being played outside of the UK.

Oh and cuckoo clocks are German.

Robertos is a good Italian if your looking for somewhere to eat. I'd also recommend Brasserie Lipp.

No mitch he's got another slapper to dispose of in the woods.

I don't know but I do know I've ridden behind people with the Mars lights and thought I was following a motorbike.

I could offer a 1986 specialized front wheel from a Rockhopper.

What might be interesting would be a virtual build based on the most expensive bits people have got and just sit around doing nothing. I reckon we could start with SFB's Rohloff. There must easily be some superbike in our collective sheds and garages.

This is priceless.

I'm confused too mitch. Is this kaesae chap the one who likes to take slappers into the woods and get them to stand in stress positions while he photographs them or have I lost the plot along the way.

All bus drivers in Brighton are colour blind or have special dispensation to jump red lights. On the whole though I've never had an issue with any of them trying to kill me.

Oh and were getting Bendy Buses apparently.

Well the Norwegians still send us a Christmas Tree so I guess they might like us a little bit.

Thorn also do a good range.

Perhaps my idea of justice is a little wider than yours.

I bought a cheap £25 one in Sainsburys that is DAB and FM as I was dubious about the reception I would get at home. It's easily a match in sound quality with a £60 Roberts my parents have. Also I wouldn't spend a lot on a DAB radio that didn't have internet radio.

I want him in the most high profile job possible, the one that will most expose him to justice.

As a veggie I think I might have to get a lamb chop in just in case. I could put it in a glass case on the wall with a little hammer dangling from it.

I'm using Chrome for most things now but I can't use it for my webmail. only real problem I've had is that I can be typing something in this box and it suddenly shuts down. Perhaps it's a STW your talking b*ll*ck5 again filter as it doesn't happen on any other sites.

I think spongebob is right about getting the power off quickly will be key. I found an I pod this morning laying out on the Downs and despite it having been out all night and it having been raining and a very heavy dew it worked after I got it to work and dried it off for a while. I think it probably wouldn't have survived had it been on when it was dropped.

theflatboy don't know if you've got your b back but if not open character map and copy a b from there and past in as required. I'm currently using that method for v. Would be v of course that's gone so I have to right click every time I need to paste it in.

Nice idea Raindog – heard them on R2 a while back and liked what I heard.

Kit I've got invites left if that would help you.

How do I actually use that rumbledethumps?

Lives off the lose change he finds hidden in the rolls of fat.

My wife once stopped speaking to me for two weeks for something I did……in one of her dreams.

To this day she maintains her behaviour was perfectly acceptable. The important thing is that you have clearly accepted it's your fault and now your doing the right thing in trying to find what you should be admonishing yourself over.

Nothing wrong with a Rockhopper, I had one in 1986 and wish I still had it. 18" chainstays, 1.5 tyres, bars heavy and strong enough to go through a carbon frame with a single blow and an incredible 15 gears controlled by shifters that you waggled about till the bad noises stopped, cantilever brakes that caused me to lock the wheels up every time I tried to stop (I was used to off roading on side pulls) and brake levers that must have come off a motorbike! Just the front wheel left hanging up in the garage now.

Yes you could use tip-ex the keys of your laptop and when you've done that you can go out to the garage and hand paint your bike in Hammerite.

Check your getting a UK keyboard if that's where you are. I'm looking for a new Dell one at the moment for a laptop and there are loads of good deals on US ones but not on UK models. Funny that, I would never have expected that!

I'd tell myself the great news that in 23 years you'll still be doing it and it will be just as good as it ever was. I'd also have to break the bad news that I wasn't going to get any better at it in that time.

My experience is that if you ride far enough into the road the vast majority of motorists will realise that they actually have to overtake you and will do it properly. Ride in the gutter and the vast majority will just assume they can squeeze through. It would be far more effective to educate cyclists rather than motorists as they are the ones with the vested interest.

Even if you meet face to face watch out for the box swap routine while your distracted.

They've probably realised the folly of making something you'll probably never need to replace.

The bikes fine you just need to add some more x's before the c. I reckon that bike would easily handle an extra 2 or 3 x's no problem.

No but if there is one take a lot of money!