Thanks for the suggestions all.

I’ve got an outline of a plan forming. Will probably head off to Aberyswyth first, no idea why but it’s always been a place I fancied having a look at. Will then probably drive up to north Wales and do Snowdon (bizarrely a mountain I’ve never had the chance to visit before) and after that who knows. I was thinking of maybe driving up to the Isle of Skye and then Cape Wrath.

On the way down I might bounce through Northumberland to see what the fuss is about and then go to the Alpkit factory shop and ask to try out their new Sonder Transmitter.

That should do for a week or so I think. Any further suggestions?

Fellow depressive too and a few months ago I found myself in a similar situation. My wife of 6 years left me (well she left me several times over a 8 week period) and I found myself being stopped by the cops from committing suicide by jumping in front of a train and spent 6 weeks in a mental health hospital as a result.

The only advice I have for you is that no matter how bleak it looks now it does get easier and better. Don’t make the mistake I did and try and get through it alone or worse yet “man up” and bluff your way through it. Have a chat with your GP and get them onside. Consider accessing some form of counselling for yourself, it really can make a difference.

I too ended up living back with my parents in my thirties but the thing to remember is that it is only temporary. Reach out to family and friends to build that vital support network that you need now you’ve had this major life changing event. For me it was good knowing they were just there even if I didn’t want to particularly talk about stuff,

I have had the “visibility” argument levelled at me several times and it basically boils down to presenteeism i.e. you must be an effective worker because we always see you here rather than being measured on delivered results and measurable outcomes.

Despite my best attempts to convince my senior management that wasn’t the case I never won the argument and therefore ended making myself more visible. This ultimately resulted in my marriage breaking down as I spent more and more time at work.

Ultimately it comes down to a question you need to ask yourself. Is work or my family more important to me? You have the most valuable currency available to you: time. How you spend it is your choice. Spend it on the stuff that matters to you not others.

Thanks all for you comments, it’s been very helpful. Last night I slept uninterrupted for the first time in weeks. I don’t know whether it’s some kind of relief in being a bit more clearer about the divorce, the medication finally starting to kick in or whether I am just so exhausted that my body shut down.

@drslow I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. However trying to MTFU and bulldoze my way through has led to me being where I am now. It hasn’t worked for me so I need to try something different.

I spoke with the wife again last night and she said that its over. She has nothing left to give and feels empty and scared of being hurt again. My anxiety is simply too much for her to deal with on top of everything else as it is manifesting through me seeking constant reassurance that we’re ok in a way that appears to her be untrusting and controlling. She says she still loves me though which is leaving me massively confused and hurt.

Thanks all. STW really is impressive with its breadth of experience.

@vickypea Its really encouraging to hear that you came out the other side, gives me some real comfort that it will get better…at some point

@Nicko74 Good advice, I appreciate it. I get what you’re saying about trying to fix the underlying health issue as well although I am not massively sold on the idea of letting my marriage slide down the tubes while I fix myself.

@Monde This whole mental health treatment thing is new to me. I wasn’t aware that Clinical Psychologists are available for the likes of me. I have an appointment with the GP again on Monday so I may push her for a referral. The tip about the breakfast is a good one as well. I will try and work up to that. Thanks,

@MoreCashThanDash I will log on to the work laptop tomorrow and see what “free” help work can give. I think my place offer 6 1-2-1 sessions as well.

Who have you got around you? Family, friends, colleagues? Sounds to me like you really need to not be alone just now. You have asked for help on here, are there people close to you you can be with.

Unfortunately the nearest family are a good two hours away as we both moved to London for our jobs. My best mate and his wife are coming round tomorrow afternoon for the Rugby I think in an attempt to introduce some normality in my life. This will be my first real social contact since the wife left early on Wednesday morning.

And don’t beat yourself up about crippling anxiety about your marriage – I mean what else are you supposed to feel? Your life’s taken a meteor strike so you’re going to be on your arse for a bit. You’ll get back up.

Thanks, I get this overwhelming sense of weakness at times. I should be strong enough to deal with crap like this but I find it so frustrating how much it has knocked me for six.