Ok nothing as extreme as some of the above, but I managed to put 50cm of hawthorn twig through my eardrum whilst getting a jump totally wrong. It snapped into 3 pieces and was stuck inside. It took 9 months, 2 operations including a re-graft which involved cutting the ear off to put that back together. Hearing is still slightly damaged on that side.
Also a few years back over exuberance led to a heavy crash on castle crag. The worst hit was above my hip below the ribs, it led to a bit of internal bleeding which nipped to put it mildly. Anyhow a week later whilst on the mend to my horror whilst lying in the bath I noticed my man bits had gone totally black! After a panicked call to the doc’s thinking they were going to drop off!I was told is was the bruising dropping from the bleeding! Misses thought it was hilarious and told almost everyone we knew.