A good friend of mine committed suicide almost a year ago to the day. Still think about him most days, still miss him.
He had a lot of stuff going on and (I think) couldn’t see any other way to deal with it. Still grieve for the friendship we could have had.
Seriously, talk to someone, family, friends, gp, the Samaritans.
Please, just do it.
Rip Dunky.