Taking on too much ….

…. and trying to rationalise.

This is hopefully going to be cathartic but also shed some helpful and much needed light.

I have a good job that I genuinely enjoy. It is head and shoulders above anywhere else I have worked regarding its culture. The work is engaging and dare I say important. The job requires a degree of flexibility but this works both ways. The nature of the work and its variedness (sic) mean that my head is often full having to keep a number of plates spinning. I’m fine with this, in fact I enjoying knowing my work in as much detail as I do!

My work doesn’t often eat into family time and when it does its on my terms.

So far all good.

Now in addition to normal family life (wife, children, dogs) I sneak in as much time on the bike as I can and hit the gym three times a week (yeah I know … swoon ;-) ) as well as trying to keep a much loved classic car on the road.

Again all good and fairly normal.

Now in addition to the the above I am also a school governor and starting this year am studying for an MBA part time. We are also trying to finish up our house to put it on the market.

It’s this last pocket of “things” that are causing me mixed emotions. Ignoring the house stuff the governor stuff and the MBA are decisions of my own making – no coercion!

Combining the governor duties and the MBA work they are easily equivalent to 1 FTE job. They are both engaging and emotionally tiring. They are also the two “things” that I would feel most guilty about dropping. It’s sadly the guilt pangs and the “what will other people think” that makes me think I cannot rationalise these.

I am a fairly organised person so planning and forecasting of what needs to be done when is fairly straight forward but its the fullness of stuff in my head that’s difficult to manage.

I’ve gotten to the point that I think something needs to give. I’m quite keen on retaining job, family and cycling!

Apart form the usual MTFU type quips has anyone any practical advice?

Run an engine too hot for too long and it will work ok for a while but then it borks.

Same with humans.

Keep below the redline.

I don’t think my advice is particularly rocket science, but having been in similar situation as you, and adding in a broken femur which brought things to a head, I just had to be ruthless in prioritising what mattered. In my case we sold a rental property which was turning a great profit for us, not necessarily the best long term decision but right for right now. I have also come to accept that for now I can’t be as ambitious at work as I might want to be, and just meeting the expectations of myself and the business is all that matters right now.

That does seem, on the surface, a lot of things going on at once. IMHO you need to hit the pause button on a couple of things.

A house move is a BIG deal, it’s stressful, time consuming, and often out of your hands with regard to how much effort you put in compared to the results. It’s often relying on other people to do their job for you to do yours. But it’s also something you need to jump on when you need to, it becomes priority number 1, just to keep things moving. How much work does the house need to become sale-able?

The classic car will still be there if you leave it for 12 months. It will need extra things doing to it if left and not driven, but it’s a classic car, it will always need something doing to it!

MBA, delay it for 12 months until after you have moved?

I was involved with the PTA at both of my sons schools, it’s not compareable to being a Governor, but it was a constant drain of pettiness brought on by other peoples demand on my time. It wasn’t until I stopped did I realize how much time I spent herding cats for very little thanks or acheivement. I understand from friends who are school governors that it’s similarly frustrating.

Sometimes you have to have a break from trying to look after everyone else and concentrate on you and your immediate family.

an easy tip but it helps me when I’m really stressed with loads of things going on.

…write stuff down, don’t keep it in your head.

It helps me de-stress and sleep more easily.

I would vote for the look at all the items and decide which can be binned off.
It looks a tad heavy workload and no matter how you try prioritising time as some point you will overload.
Can you put the MBA of a year until you sort out the house and then really I would probably look at dropping the governship whilst the MBA is happening.

Apart form the usual MTFU type quips has anyone any practical advice?

try not phrasing it as an “I’ve got too much of a wonderful life I can’t cope humblebrag” perhaps ? ;)

It wasn’t until I stopped did I realize how much time I spent herding cats for very little thanks or acheivement.

And the school will carry on if you stop being a governor, on top of which you can still satisfy yourself that you’ve already contributed more than most and possibly even resume a similar role later on in life when you’ve more time. I have a similar thing in my professional life with refereeing grants/papers etc… it’s something you feel you should do to do your bit, but if you stop for a while the world goes on and you can focus for a bit on other stuff.

WIP limits and context switching costs

You have too much on.

http://personalkanban.com/pk/expert/context-switching-why-limit-your-wip-iv/

Can you afford not to limit work in progress?

Run an engine too hot for too long and it will work ok for a while but then it borks.

Same with humans.

Keep below the redline.

👆This.

Drop the MBA or delay it otherwise many things will suffer. One thing at a time.

IMO if it is job related then only take on something that pays the bills (or for promotion etc) otherwise drop it as they are just hassle.

Life is too short just simply work and no rest.

That would be taking on far too much for myself, but there are people who can keep lots of plates spinning and not necessarily burn out – you could well be one of them.
Time management will be key, and iron discipline in devising and sticking to work schedules.
But your priority should be family time, everything else other than your job is optional. I hardly saw my parents growing up as they worked so hard, it’s the one thing I would change if I could go back. (not saying this is the case with you)

Sounds way too much stuff to me (but then I’m lazy), I’d certainly ditch the governor thing (guilt free) and as others have said if you can postpone the MBA for a year that sounds sensible (gives you time to move house). Doing an OU degree seemed to age a colleague 10 years and certainly caused them a lot of stress keeping on top of the work, unless it’s to prompt a major job change (it wasn’t for him) and the 2-3 years of stress being well worth it in the long run I can’t see the point myself.

The MBA is a finite commitment – do it properly, finish it, when its done and can open doors in your future – but its better to finish it sooner than later as ‘the future’ is ticking away

Your kids will grow up and leave home eventually.

There will always be schools to govern.

I’d take time out from the governing – concentrate on things that return short term benefit like the house and the MBA and go back to to the governing later

(I’d also drop the gym – but then I’ve never been to one)

Honestly, sack off the MBA. I am an MBA graduate and I would never advise anyone to do one – stupidly expensive, out of date and simply prepping you for life as a middle manager in a dreary global corp where the closest you get to feeling like a “businessman” is negotiating your new company car.

MBAs are garbage. And credentialism is killing the UK and entrepreneurship. Search for Breaking Smart, read around that and ponder the idea of slouching to utopia as a driver of progress ;)

Hmmm – just as an alternative – Drop the school governor – defer the MBA for a year or two – ask your employer for some time to finish it – mine did when I was struggling with handling mass redundancies, twins at home and moving house, finished it and I am glad I did.

An MBA isn’t easy, if you want a half decent mark that will be your life outside of work. There’s no way you will be able to juggle that, wife and kids, a classic car, the gym three times a week and MTB. Most type A personalities simply do not have enough time to do all of that.

Unless you are one of the 0.01 percent of personalities who seem to be able to do that? Are you? Are you able to read textbooks and commit them to memory with just one read through, Good Will Hunting style? And how supportive is your wife?

I’m feeling tired just reading about what you do. I’d stop the school work (both types) and gym until the house sale is over and done.

Honestly, sack off the MBA. I am an MBA graduate and I would never advise anyone to do one – stupidly expensive, out of date and simply prepping you for life as a middle manager in a dreary global corp where the closest you get to feeling like a “businessman” is negotiating your new company car.

I view mine the same as my knowledge of the Church of England (church school, christened, confirmed the whole bolloxy rigmarole). I understand the content, but I don’t agree with it. I can be critical from a position of knowledge. See also PRINCE2 😆