Struggling with motivation

So I used to bike (mtb & road) all the time. I love cycling, the gear, the social side, the challenges, the type 2 ‘fun’.
Ever since an injury which put me out the game for the best part of a year and in fact for some time before this, I’ve lost my cycling mojo and use absolutely everything and anything as an excuse not to go out, or on the indoor bike.
Even NBD’s have failed to give the kick up the back side I’m in need of.
I now have a two year old, together with a shift working wife ( I’m also a shift worker ) I either get the guilt for being away for hours (also an excuse as my wife doesn’t mind) or end up having limited windows for getting out and generally have obviously a lot less time to myself.
Im now the fattest, most unfit and un motivated I’ve ever been and a recent birthday has me in a bit of a mid life crisis about my health, wellbeing and ultimately my extreme laziness of not doing anything about it!
Looking for words or wisdom, inspiration or guidance from the collective!

Try running. Gently at first, with a couch-to-5k program. Not only will it help build some fitness back, it is easier/quicker/cleaner to catch a 30-45 minute run rather than mucking about cleaning and servicing a bike. 

Funny you say that.  Actually completed this 6 weeks ago. Got right into it then stopped when I completed it! And I don’t like running 🙈

I struggle too, mostly with low grade aches and pains which typically make just getting out the door the hardest part!

What generally motivates me and gets me out there is exploring new stuff, especially on the gravel bike where I can nip out with the sole purpose of checking out one bit of track or trail or (better yet) sliver of singletrack I’ve spotted from the car or train.

Once I get out I generally forget the aches and pains and remember how much I love riding bikes, and in time I’ve learned to remind myself of this fact e.g. “You’ll enjoy it once you’re out”.

So yeah, find something which excites you just to get out, tell yourself you’ll enjoy it once you do get out, and hopefully it will become a sort of virtuous circle where you become more and more motivated to get out in the first place 😎

Can’t even blame aches and pains, I get myself all ready to go the night before then by the time comes to cycle I’ve come up with fifty other excuses / reasons not to bother. I’ve got all the clothing and kit in the world, for every weather but a drop of rain or a wee gust of wind and I’m chickening out. If I ever do make it out, I love it, I know I will as well, just can’t get my fat behind on the bike! 

Running is really time efficient if that’s a concern. A 30 minute run can be a good workout, 30 mins on the bike and you’re barely warmed up.

And I don’t like running

I’m not sure anyone does. I’ll run 3000 miles this year and I’m not convinced I do. But it doesn’t half burn the calories and clear the mind.

I’m sort of in the same boat OP. Used to be out around the local forest and beyond on the bike all the time. Bouldering, boxing or just at the gym. Not touched the bike all year and slowly stopped going to the gym.

Really don’t like running. Just find it to be a boring slog. I have to enjoy what I do for exercise or I simply won’t stick with it. Same reason why I don’t gel with road riding. Finding something you can really get invested in that also keeps you a bit fit is tricky. Wish I could offer some actual advice. Just know you’re not alone

If you have an underlying desire to ride but keep finding excuses, try changing your focus a little. Don’t aim to go for a big ride every time, accept that it’s OK just to turn the pedals for a few minutes if that’s what you feel like. If you turn around after 5 minutes then that still counts as a success, but doing those first 5 minutes is often the hardest bit about riding at this time of year so overcoming that is a win.

@lunge – I hate the first 2 or 3km of every run but once past the initial “why does everything hurt” stage, I really enjoy it 😀

Yeah I endured the runs when I was doing them. Never really enjoyed any part of it. Ideal for time constraints though. Glad I’m not the only one. Should really start commuting but a 20 mile bike ride before and after a twelve and half hour shift isn’t something to look forward to at all. 

Park 1/2 way

Not sure how long your usual rides are but I would just tell myself that next time I go out, it will be 60mins easy or an easy ride around my short local loop (for me that would be 90mins). Maybe even the next 2 or 3 rides.

Most likely once you’ve got out the door once or twice you’ll establish some sort of pattern again.

I think if weightlifters have an absence they sometimes re-start by doing some reps where they dry-lift just the bar without the weights attached to get their form right and rehearse the movement before they add the weight?

I might have just dreamed that up but feel in a similar way a couple of easy short loops to rehearse getting out the door could get your mind into a place where you feel psyched about getting out again?

@bikerevivesheffield – I was about to come up with an excuse against your idea but that actually may be worth exploring, thanks!

This time of year definitely doesn’t help motivation!
The 100 days challenge is what keeps me going this time of year and if I’m honest, I enjoy riding in the dark and feel much safer on the roads.
As above, running is great because of less faff and that I can get a decent workout first thing in the morning. Finding your window opportunity is the most difficult thing especially with little ones.

I struggle with this at times, especially during winter.

I find having a goal helps a lot and it doesn’t need to be a spectacular one.

I also try and drum into myself that I’ve never gone on a ride and not come home thinking that I wish I hadn’t bothered. Even some of the most disastrous rides I’ve had were ultimately worthwhile, even if it was rubbish at the time the funny stories are still worth it.

Are you me? I got a gravel bike to sort this out, try to ride for 1-2 hours 2-3 times a week. The more I ride the more I want to ride.

Even a shit ride is better than being on the internet getting irritated at people you don’t even know!

damn right!

Short rides, local loops would help – TBH the weather has been horrible recently and it can dent anyone’s enthusiasm. I commute 3-4 ays a week to work, and that’s been the only riding I’ve done for the last few weeks – at least it’s good baseline fitness.

I’d also add that if as you say OP you’re the fattest and most unfit you’ve ever been that in itself can be an un motivating factor. I’ve experienced this, I took a good few years out from mountain biking and my fitness dropped off a cliff. When I decided to get back into riding I thought I’d be starting from scratch but that wasn’t the case, the first 2 weeks of regular riding were very difficult but after that it felt as though I was getting substantially fitter ride by ride. I have no idea if there’s any science to back it up but regaining lost fitness seems in my experience to be far far easier than gaining it initially.

I’m not really sure what my point is other than if you feel your current fitness is holding you back don’t worry. It will come back faster than you could ever hope.

Have you noticed a similar impact in any other aspects of your life? E.g. socialising, work, other hobbies, home life?

It was having children that revealed I have ADHD and had been (mostly) coping with it for my entire life. My coping mechanisms just didn’t work for the step change kids make to your life.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you have ADHD, more that there could be an unexpected root cause.

Thanks for all the suggestions. Good to know I’m not the only one.
No real recent change in other aspects of my life, think it’s maybe a slight geography issue as well, I moved away (not far) 5 years ago from my home town which meant cycling wasn’t as accessible or as fun (city centre) then add in an injury which stopped me playing footie twice a week and I’ve slowly ground to a halt and lost my mojo cycling wise.
Some great suggestions from everyone, think the fact I’m actually airing my feelings has helped as well but the proof will be in the pudding if I actually take action. I want to for sure at least

What do you find yourself doing instead of going out? E.g. you’ve got ready the night before, all set. Then the time comes and you don’t go. What do you do instead?

Not a lot! Usually family stuff and in the rare occasions I find myself child free I’ll either (dare I say) go to the driving range (mild golf habit that’s taken an even bigger back seat since the little one came along) or sit and binge Netflix feeling sorry for myself for not going out and feeling fat, which usually leads to my cake eating habits to cheer me up. 🥴🙈

Hate running, rubbish at it so don’t go much but biggest eye opener for me on the last one was to start way slower than normal.  It didn’t even really affect my overall time but just felt alot more pleasant.

Picking up on the couch to 5k, well done on completing it.  Maybe you’re like me and get motivated by meaningless targets.  What about:

1. buying some cheap, highly unscientific smart scales; recording your current miserable body condition and setting targets to attack those numbers?
2. buying a cheap garmin, signing up to meaningless monthly challenges and using that to drive you?  See how many badges you can collect.  I find this drives good behaviour in my routine.

I’m usually a very regular rider, but haven’t been doing much this autumn and winter – because it’s been so sodding wet all the time.

My day job involves behaviour change and exercise, and you’ve had some of the best advice already here. I’d just add that you could organise to ride with someone else, which would provide accountability and make it harder for you to back out.

Also, try thinking about a ride the way you do work. You probably don’t want to do that either, but you “have” to. Put riding in that category in your head, until actually going out becomes a habit.

Also, try thinking about a ride the way you do work. You probably don’t want to do that either, but you “have” to.

The amount of time some of us spend on here suggests that many of us already think of riding the same way we think of work.

@bighairydel

 I moved away (not far) 5 years ago from my home town which meant cycling wasn’t as accessible or as fun (city centre) then add in an injury which stopped me playing footie twice a week and I’ve slowly ground to a halt and lost my mojo cycling wise.

Is commuting by bike an option?

Things that help me to remain motivated:

• Having a less maintenance bike – a hardtail and a gravel/commuter bike that mostly just need hosing down when the weather’s filthy. All my drivetrains are waxed now for the same reason.
• Having a fun bike – my hardtail has made stuff that in the past I’d find boring much more fun
• Having a loop out my door. It’s not amazing, but over time I’ve linked together some more interesting sections, and that’s around Kidsgrove – see the point above
• Having something to aim for that I know will be more fun the fitter I am – for me a riding holiday in the Alps
• Having a silent bike – helps with the meditative aspect of bike riding
• Having the right clothes – waterproof boots, socks and gloves make a massive difference
• Doing fun stuff regularly – uplift days

Losing fitness is miserable, but most of it is conditioning anyway, and that does tend to return quite quickly.

What about:

buying some cheap, highly unscientific smart scales; recording your current miserable body condition and setting targets to attack those numbers?
buying a cheap garmin, signing up to meaningless monthly challenges and using that to drive you? See how many badges you can collect. I find this drives good behaviour in my routine.

Another similar suggestion might be subscribing to Strava premium and exploring routes using the global heatmap, I actually find it exciting (sue me, I’m a geek) scouring my local area for undiscovered bits of trail and singletrack which then become the object of a ride.

In fact right now when I’m desperately trying to stay OFF the bike and work on some core issues, I’m still tempted to drag myself out because of the number of awesome looking routes I’ve plotted that I’m desperate to go explore. This approach lends itself better to a gravel bike right enough as typically you’d be riding lots of interlinking tarmac etc.

Not a lot! Usually family stuff and in the rare occasions I find myself child free I’ll either (dare I say) go to the driving range (mild golf habit that’s taken an even bigger back seat since the little one came along) or sit and binge Netflix feeling sorry for myself for not going out and feeling fat, which usually leads to my cake eating habits to cheer me up. 🥴🙈

I think you’re being too hard on yourself. Being a shift working parent is not easy. You need time just to do something simple and relaxing. That’s equally as valuable. Spending time with the family is important too. Perhaps on the exercise, start simple. Go for a walk listening to music or a podcast, and build it from there.

I get like this and when I do, I arrange to ride with a mate or a group. That way I am committed and I will go, otherwise I get home from work and sit down for 5 minutes. After that, I am going nowhere.

Im now the fattest, most unfit and un motivated I’ve ever been and a recent birthday has me in a bit of a mid life crisis about my health, wellbeing and ultimately my extreme laziness of not doing anything about it!

It can be done – I got taken out by Covid/Pneumonia and then a leg injury for the first six months of this year. Left me piling on the weight, making asthma worse etc – vicious circle stuff. Put it off for a while, but finally made the call to hit the dieting hard in September with the aim of being back to better fitness after Christmas. Weight is off, but I’ve chosen not to ride until 2024, focusing on rock climbing instead because you can really feel the benefits of every pound you lose. So maybe focus on a different sport over the winter so you’re not constantly benchmarking how you feel vs fitter you.

But it’s not the greatest couple of weeks to be thinking about getting into the discipline of diet/exercise. Perhaps you should think how you can do some damage limitation over the festive period if you’re a mince pie scoffer/beer lover, and start working in some moderate exercise – walking, every day if possible, just to get your body ready for a bigger effort in the New Year.

After that, comfort eating is the enemy. Just don’t have that kind of calorie dense stuff in the house. If you can get started pretty quickly on a diet that suits you, then you may find that it takes the edge off your appetite, and you won’t get sugar highs/lows which can have you reaching for a Twix.

You know when they say they grow up in no time and you think yeah right. Well it does really feel like that. Most peoople go through something like this with little ones. So maybe try the running again but with a running buggy to take them with you and possibly park run. Also it wont be long before you are at the park all the time and then maybe teaching them to ride and soon enough you will be the one struggling to keep up. Just enjoy the changes in pace.

Ebike? It has certainly got me wanting to ride again. Opens up lot’s of new routes for me which helps as I do struggle with motivation of riding the same few routes. It also helps with the thought of ‘oh can’t be bothered’ because of a certain nasty climb. I am easing myself back into it instead of the nasty shock that comes with getting back out after losing fitness. 

I have not ridden since the end of October and I have been struggling with the motivation to ride too, I think the big factor for me is  that its been constantly wet and shitty conditions, it never dry’s out.

So I have switched over to walking until the conditions improve. I have always been a walker, but for the last couple of years I focused on biking.  BUT as long as I spend as much time outdoors I dont mind what I am doing, nothing worse than cabin fever!!

I am planning on going out on the bike this weekend to see how I feel, nothing big, sometimes short fun rides are the best, I was even thinking of dusting off the lights and squeezing in a night ride…..

Commitment/ motivation comes and goes for all of us. The thing for me is just not forcing it. I’ve found that I can get anxious about it, so first off, allow that sometimes getting out for a ride is hard. There’s all sorts of pressures on your time, and sometimes life just gets in the way. When it’s like that I just think to myself that at some point it will be the right time, and I’ll be motivated to go out, and that’s all the pressure I put on myself.

Just keep that thought going: You’re a cyclist and that you do want to go for a ride, and you’ll make plans to do it, but give yourself a break from forcing it or worrying about it, or setting unrealistic timelines or deadlines to get it done, other wise it just creeps up on you, and you’ll just find a reason not to go.

At some point the opportunity, the time, and the motivation will all coincide and it will be the right time, and bingo; it becomes routine again. But also remember, unless you’re actually a pro,  this is what we do for fun, and it’s not something else to get anxious about.

Try a local cycling club. The social side is a good motivator for going out on a club run. It doesn’t have to be a group 1 chain gang, nor 100 miles before lunch. That said, we only had five out on Tuesday night and a nice pace and well disciplined ride was had by all of us. Christmas lunch ride to a restaurant and back tomorrow with a gravel option for those so inclined.

Try it, you might get your motivation back. 

Couldn’t be ar$ed with commuting on the bike today (night out last night). My god driving in was terrible, took twice as long for slightly shorter distance. That’s enough motivation to ride !

Im now the fattest, most unfit and un motivated I’ve ever been and a recent birthday has me in a bit of a mid life crisis about my health, wellbeing and ultimately my extreme laziness of not doing anything about it!

Sounds like me. I’ve been terrible this year, probably not helped by the generally bloody awful weather. I know you get into a doom loop where you don’t ride so you then think you’re too unfit to ride with your faster, less porker-ish mates, so you don’t ride… repeat to fade

Arrange a ride with a mate, one who then won’t take no for an answer, and doesn’t care if you’re fat and slow and need a breather at the top of all the climbs. I went out yesterday for a leisurely-paced jaunt, finishing at the pub for a couple of pints. It was cold, wet and lethally slippy and I had a major ‘don’t look at the tree’ moment. It was ace! We spent as much time stood chatting as we did riding. Got to the pub soaked and caked in mud with a big grin on my face

Cheers to Rob and Barney the trail dog for dragging my sorry fat arse out onto the trails :D

Child trailer. Got one when wee lad was a year old. He’s four and a half now and still loves it. Even just a couple of mile cafe/play park run can be a good work out pulling an extra 25kg. You get out and spend time with the family, it’s a win win. My wife even started coming out with us this year. 

Got an ebike and now enjoy going into the office. I put it off for a long time as it’s cheating, but i realised it’s better to “cheat” and burn a few calories and get some fresh air than be a wanna-be cyclist who can claim the moral high ground of not cheating but who almost never goes out on his bike.

My motivation ebbs and flows, I’ll have short periods where it’s NO problem to get out and do stuff interspersed with long, long periods of CBA.