so tragic – baking cakes for work…

Have they not heard of Paul Hollywood? He’s a chubby, middle-aged, male baker and I bet he gets a lot more (ahem) offers than any of them do… :D

How good would that be….

To be a Gigolo …..  paid in cake.

Not sure about having to service middle age Glaswegian hens though

Basically, every time one of them opens their mouth, retort with – ‘that’s whit yer ma said, last time a wiz pumpin her’.

It’s amazing how often it works, even when it makes no sense, the confused look is a joy.

Unless they’ve  been given a piece of cake and complained ” That’s a tiny portion”

Doesn’t really work then , does it?  :-)

Then you have to resort to ‘That’s no whit yer ma said’.

C’mon Perchy.

C’mon Perchy.

That’s whit yer ma said the last time ah wiz pumpin’ her.

edit: ….whilst yer Da wis oot sellin’ the Avon

Haha!

Did you see this at few years back?

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/sport/football/399405/sky-sports-fall-for-hilarious-prank-about-new-aberdeen-signing-yerdas-selzavon/

Once heard at a Rangers v Celtic game – ‘yer maws got baws and yer da loves it’ being shouted at a player, was pretty funny as it was quiet at the time.

Bantz. Where do I start.

Deep fry the cake. This will cause them to cry as it shows you have the deepest respect for their ancient traditions,

Bantz. Where do I start.

:-).  The term has negative connotations, and often rightly so, as it can be an excuse to express prejudice based on race/sexuality/background or other inappropriate subject matter.  However, in this case we are talking about someone being overly sensitive after being wrongly accused, as a joke, of passing cakes off as his own when they were actually baked by his wife.  I think this is an example of where ‘suck it up princess’ is definitely not being used to sweep bigger issues under the rug.  It just seems bizarrely childish (the sensitivity, not the bantz, which yes, are also childish :-)).  The sort of thing my 2 year old niece might have a strop about.

the sweatys can jog on, bake a small confection of elaborate design and get a fancy box for it, have a laboured and over dramatic unveiling at your desk and take a few shots for instagram while the team look on, then smash it in one gob full making sure the sour cherry glaze and chocolate fondant drips down your chin.

to add a frisson of excitement to your day get some pucks of used coffee out of an espresso machine (your local artisan cafe can help here) and then carefully place them upside down on a plate and with icing do a zig-zag design on top and leave them in the communal fridge, wait for the gagging and grainy bitter tasting grains sprayed around the kitchen.

love to rip the piss and say that it’s my wife doing all the baking

“Well it wouldn’t be your wife doing the baking as she was too busy sucking my xxxx”

Retaliate and escalate. From my experience of gobshite weegies they can give but they can’t take, which is why you go in with the above. Next move would be to actually wee on their shoes, in the canteen. Let them know firmly that you’ve had enough.

ETA: or what nobeer said.

Apply to ‘The Great British Bake Off’.

I don’t think you’re being too sensitive. It takes a lot of effort, time and skill to bake something of good quality that looks good.

If this were happening to me I’d be pretty fed up too.

Let them know firmly that you’ve had enough.

And forever be known as the cake guy with no sense of humour, that puts his foot down if his desserts aren’t taken seriously?

The term has negative connotations, and often rightly so, as it can be an excuse to express prejudice based on race/sexuality/background or other inappropriate subject matter. However, in this case we are talking about someone being overly sensitive after being wrongly accused, as a joke, of passing cakes off as his own when they were actually baked by his wife.

Probably fair comment in this instance.

got any Picolax? or a set of bombers? Come on, this is STW.

And forever be known as the cake guy with no sense of humour, that puts his foot down if his desserts aren’t taken seriously?

After telling the pricks that he **** their wives and then literally pissing on them? I think he’ll have a slightly different reputation after that.

So glad I work in an office without that sort of ‘bantz’. They sound like ****s to me and it would wind me up as well.

2 options

1 – come and work for me, i love cake

2 – bake them a different cake, something good but with a little kick maybe, like some chilli, just for bantz

After telling the pricks that he **** their wives and then literally pissing on them? I think he’ll have a slightly different reputation after that.

Yeah, I didn’t think the chances of the OP taking the pissing advice that literally was too high.  That would move him from princess to legend territory.

Last time I baked a cake for work (a salted caramel and nectarine sponge) the assistant manager was so impressed I ended up bedding her.

Such differing outcomes from our mutual love of baking cakes, eh OP!

popped your cherry bakewell?

I can’t abide almonds I’m afraid.

Bake a penis-shaped cake, obviously.

Include a habanero or two next time (and brief the rest of the team).

Seems a logical extension of “just bantz, innit”

Oh you Scots and your wee b-yeasties

It’s entirely the case that bantz is only bantz if everybody appreciates the joke but if someone came to me as a manager complaining that they were upset because their cake wasn’t being sufficiently lauded, I would find it hard to take them seriously.  Just stop making cakes and get on with what you’re being paid for.

just make them something like this: