[Closed] Singletrack Forum glossary

STW - Same Ten Wakners

Vortex of Mechanical Failure - On a group ride where one rider suffers a puncture closely followed by another snapping a seat post bolt and so on until somebody breaks a crank/frame/their neck.

Usually in a howling gale.

'Making progress' - I'm not actually a cyclist but post on STW as well as Pistonheads because I like buying bike parts.

This is going to end up with someone bumming baby robins with frozen sausages.

IANAL, I am not a lawyer (other variations such as Dr, plumber, epidemiologist apply). I've no experience of the subject matter at hand but I have an opinion which should be treated as absolute and irrefutable fact. This differs from posts not prefixed with IANAL only in so much as the poster accepts their lack of knowledge in the field and feels their opinion is more accurate for it.

I can see the Isle of Man – What every member of the MNPR traditionally says when at the top of any hill in North West England. Irrespective of whether it is cloudy, raining or dark.

TJ = twerpJerk

TJ = twerpJerk

I had to check twice as to who posted that!

WWSTWD - What Would Single Track World Do - usually posed before a question with a blindingly obvious answer which everyone then gives but this is not the answer the OP was looking for.

The OP in this scenario usually has their own idea and gets increasingly enraged when the forum does not act as their echo chamber 😉

For example - I got caught red handed stealing some frozen sausages from Tesco and nailing them into my neighbours mulberry bush. Whilst I know stealing is wrong neither the store nor the neighbour had the requisite warnings up that CCTV cameras were in operation and besides my neighbour is a dick and I am a completely rational person and laws do not generally apply to me. I want to contest these charges but WWSTWD?

This is going to end up with someone bumming baby robins with frozen sausages.

Whatever happened to the more traditional 'owning with bombers'?

I

B

T

L

In Before The Lock.

i can see that this thread is going down the toilet but I'm determined to be in on it even though I have no / am scared to share my opinion.

I have no useful contribution to make

In honesty that's a fairly good summary of the forum.

Edit, all the more so now you deleted your concise reply and replaced it with acronyms.

Whatever happened to the more traditional ‘owning with bombers’?

Or 'wee in their shoes'?

TLDR - Take a Long Dump Reading (STW of course)

What tyres for...? = What component can I easily blame in case of ooops?

Or ‘wee in their shoes’?

I believe they were traded for a brief spell of "hoof in the slats" before settling into various combinations of the words.

Hammer, dog, lawn, bum, frozen.

BBB = Big Bike Bash*

*I might have mentioned this amazing event before

Louise = Your girlfriend

Modulation - controlled braking whilst listening to Paul Weller's back catalogue

Baby Robin. The most hardcore animal in the universe. Could batter a Honey Badger with four of its tentacles tied behind it's back. And four testicles. Takes many forms from a small ant like insect to a fish of Blue Whale proportions.

This thread reminds me of the Urban Dictionary entry for STW.

singletrackworld
A website populated by portly mid life crisis sufferers with delusions of gradeur, who think that riding around on an expensive push bike somehow makes up for their dull job in engineering or IT.

Various cliques can be found on this website. The most amusing being the ones who pretend to like something purely so they can be on first name terms with a washed up ex bike journalist come budget bike company owner or some muppet who draws pictures of sheep and waffles on in a pretentious manner. The actual condiment is more entertaining.
"I'm an overwieght, stuffy, pompous engineer with a lack of personality is there anywhere I can go to have petty arguements with people just like me?"
"Of course there is, try singletrackworld"
by chipps October 31, 2007

Technical route: a road ride with a roundabout

Gnarpoon - frighteningly expensive enduro bike that spends its life on the Swindley forest blue

Cockpit : trying to make handlebars sound exciting

Forum Update - it's 2009 again.

PSA an opportunity to purchase something you dont really need cheap enough you think it wont piss your other half off

Cockpit : trying to make handlebars sound exciting

Cockpit : the Brexit thread.

Gravel bike with flat bars; a hybrid.

DE razor - Dangerously Expensive alternative to a philishave

compliant (adjective)

the term used by armchair metallurgists to describe the way a bike frame responds when they survive rolling off a poorly installed dropped kerb

Antonym: Harsh

harsh (adjective)

the term used by armchair metallurgists to describe the way you can lose an arm, or a testicle, by rolling  your bike off a poorly installed dropped kerb

****OS - There was a thread on Singletrack - when explaining to someone else.

Some bank in some town down south somewhere, can't remember which bank or small town, but there's some teh techist singletrack bomb drops stair gaps and gnarly stuff round the back.

-- what southerners say and pretend about their local trails footpaths around fields when they can't get to real mountains often enough - anonymous southerner.

Reasonably priced = expensive.

A bit spendy = outrageously, jaw droppingly expensive.

Expensive = Tom Howard already has one. 🙂

‘Gription’. Usually used when there isn’t any grip/traction.

Red Mark - what you get if you post anything querying the STW business model

Peddles / peddels and breaks - Pedals and Brakes, just spelt badly

Shredit - 10 minutes of shaky footage detailing some dull trail centre section ridden at low speed that the poster thinks everyone will enjoy.

Swinley Northshore - Approximately 100m of boardwalk raised 1ft above ground level

Brant, Brant, Brant - desperate cry for help from On-One / PX customer services

Some bank in some town down south somewhere, can’t remember which bank or small town, but there’s some teh techist singletrack bomb drops stair gaps and gnarly stuff round the back.

— what southerners say and pretend about their local trails when they can’t get to real mountains often enough – anonymous southerner.

I think you'll find that's behind the Nationwide in Swindon.

Cockpit : trying to make handlebars sound exciting

Also see Steed / Sled - the same, but this time talking about the bicycle in general.

<<insert word here>> track world - I'm having an issue with my diction but I'm oh so pithy

IIRC - I can't be asrsed to google it so I'll just guess

Any reference to behind Nationwide in Swindon = easy, urban trails.

Child's face

Theoretical motion arresting device for all badly handled high speed / high impact solid objects.

Not to be confused with the contents of a nappy if your spell checker is broken. If mishandled this can become one of the aforementioned high speed/high impact solid objects but also offers a liquid variation.

I see my reputation precedes me.

Whats ATGNI or MCWCB?

or, my favourite, SBLW.

😉

No pudding - a situation in which someone feels hard done by when, in fact, it is a perfectly reasonable example of cause and effect.

Reasonably priced = expensive.

A bit spendy = outrageously, jaw droppingly expensive.

Expensive = Tom Howard already has one. 🙂

I snorted my bottled water that came from a mountain range but tastes just like the council pop that comes out of the tap