le rouge et le noir…

After 500 pages of the bloque wondering weather or not it would be aceptable to kiss the girl I just gave up… I obviously got a very bad mark at the essay on this book.

Plus terry goodwin first volume of the sword of truth… Not a bad book, but long, long, very long.

I borrowed “Devil Bones” by Kathy Reichs from someone at work to help stave off boredom on the train home.

I don’t remember ever trying to read a more badly written ‘book’ – it contains chapter endings like “I had no idea that my day’s end we’d score two more ID’s, close a cold-case, and come face-to-face with yet another perplexing religion”.

Leaving aside the laughable characterization – you can almost hear the author pitching it to a film-maker / book editor at the publisher: “She’s a troubled maveric forensic anthropologist, recovering alcoholic etc etc”, it takes DB’s modus operani of explaining absolutely everything to the reader to extremes – utter, utter drivel written in an insultingly patronising fashion – there’s more literary technique in my daughter’s nighttime stories FFS…

I made the mistake of buying a Kathy Reichs book on holiday once. It was truly awful.

I loved the Life of Pi and was indifferent to The Da Vinci Code – very ordinary.

I have trouble with Christopher Priest. The stories some to be really well conceived, but written dreadfully.

Paul Auster
Dan Brown
Quentin Jardine

The Great Gatsby = Most overrated book of all time
Crying of Lot 49 = Close runner up

Very interesting people’s opinions on books! I loved Life of Pi and Chcolat, however I’m still trogging through Perfume .. not got any beter yet and I’ve got 70 pages to go!!!
I have read many shite books lately but funnily enough I can’t remember some of the other names of them!! So memorable! Never even picked up any of Dan Brown’s books as they appear so rubbish! Mr MC said Da Vinci code has same story line as Angels and Demons .. he’s not money grabbing hen is he!!

Ulysses. It shouldn’t take that long to describe a bloke walking round dublin.
(another Life of Pi lover here)

Dan Brown, obviously.
Oscar and Lucinda was awful, gave up halfway through.
White Teeth.
Birdsong was OK, nothing special.

Couldn’t stomach Noah Gordon or Katherine Neville’s books, either.

‘Redback’ by Howard Jacobson is pretentious unreadable toss.

Have tried a few Tony Parsons books but really, he’s awful.

Clive Barker has a fantastic imagination, but his prose is only readable by pre-pubescent boys.

Ben Elton should have just stopped breathing after Blackadder, his books are turgid unimaginative nonsense – he truly is the Barbara Cartland of the new millenium.

Didn’t read Catcher in the Rye ’till I was in my twenties, which I imagine is far too late to truly appreciate it.

I love Ian Banks, one of my favourite authors, but struggled a bit with Feersum Enjin.

OMG Tony Parsons, dreadful.

I thought i wasn’t going to like White Teeth, but there’s one passage in there that had me in a proper fit of the giggles – the “chief” insult.

I liked the Great Gatsby too, but perhaps that’s because i’ve never found another “worthy” book that was so accessible.

I liked the Great Gatsby too, but perhaps that’s because i’ve never found another “worthy” book that was so accessible.

I’m reading the Grapes of Wrath, seems fairly accessible. Second that thought when it comes to Dickens, though!

God, yeah Perfume was absolute garbage. I skipped so many pages!

I liked Brett Easton Ellis stuff until I tried to read Glamorama. Ended up throwing it across the room.

Will never read any Tolkien after been force fed the Hobbit at junior school. Bilge.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt was a big disappointment after being recommended by (I think) Mark Radcliffe.

Another thumbs down for “catcher in the rye” which, for me, has aged poorly. I also regretted starting “catch22”, it triggered the end of my iconic book reading phase.

anything by L Ron Hubbard. i tried some of his science fiction books and **** me its garbage. as for his self help cult religion stuff i’ve never tried it and dont want to.

I was reading this thread thinking I can’t remember any ‘really’ bad books I’ve read (mainly because I trash them if I hate them) but then I read:

konabunny – Member
I plough through spy and detective novels constantly. But OMG the frigging Bourne Supremacy etc books are awful. Terrible. The first one is just about OK so that you think hmm, I might as well keep going (they’re only 2 quid in second hand shops) but the second one is just *abominable*.

Totally agree, read a post from Hora once reporting these to be fantastic, was left wondering if he’d read the same books as me? Read them only to finish them, so I wouldn’t have to ever think there might have been a redeeming conclusing, absolute garbage. If you do fancy them just read the first one (which is good) and leave it at that.

I love Ian Banks, one of my favourite authors, but struggled a bit with Feersum Enjin.
Yeah, I’m re-reading all my book collection at the moment, and though I’ve read all the rest of IB books, I can’t bring myself to trawl though that one again (just yet). Not a bad book, just really hard work until you ‘click’ and can read it without trying to ‘talk’ the lines as you go…
As for the Tolken trilogy, I personnaly just couldn’t remember who all the characters were, so lost interest. Though I loved the films, and may try to re-read the books as I know can identify who the different character are!

Chocolat and Life of Pi are magical books – literally and figuratively.
I also like Nick Hornby’s books – surely the absolute opposite of chick lit?

Strangely, although The Da Vinci Code is preposterous twaddle it is written in such a way that I found it difficult to put down.

The World according to Garp and Catch 22 were books that left me wondering what the fuss was about. And I read a Peter Carey novel once, I shan’t be doing that again.

I really liked Perfume, and Life of Pi.

I’ll give you the Da Vinci Code though, utter shite.

And no matter how much I loved Kevin, don’t bother trying to read her second book – Post Birthday World. load of crap.

Henry Miller – Black Spring
Joseph Heller – Something Happened

I also like Nick Hornby’s books – surely the absolute opposite of chick lit?

One dimensional characters, immense soppiness and general overblown overwrought emotional b0ll0cks? Perhaps you and i have a different understanding of what chick lit is.

Blokes are one-dimensional 🙂

Still got a couple of chapters to read, but this is f*cking terrible

Blokes are one-dimensional

Touché!

Perfume – oh there’s been a few murders on page 205 of a 260 page book … maybe the excitement starts now … or then again!!

ian banks -had glass in the title was utter pish!
one more vote for catcher in the rye, i wanted to kill the main character.
white swan- every female who has read it fizzes at the bung about it, i lasted about 50 pages and lost the will to turn the next page.

fizzes at the bung 😆

I found white swans unreadable.

JRRRR Tolkien – yyyaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnn

Cider with Rosie. The reason I fell out of love with reading and failed my English Lit O Level. Not so much failed as crashed and burned spectacularly. What a pile of crap.

The Time Traveller’s Wife is odious. The Groomer more like. And the silly bugger never seems to remember to write down some lottery numbers…

i’ve read that recently, and would agree it’s not great. i have to point out, though, that you either didn’t concentrate or didn’t finish it because about halfway through that’s exactly what he does.

RE Parfum- I don’t understand what people want from this. Stylistically it might not be your cup of tea, but boring?

Anyway, I thought this thread was going to head in a different direction. Currently (and coincedentally) reading On Garbage by John Scanlan, Paris Sewermen by Donald Reid, Rubbish Theory by Michael Thompson and various others on rubbish/waste. All quite enjoyable.

Another vote against Dan Brown. I did see the film but that was just to watch Audrey Tautou.

But I loved Perfume, Life of Pi, Tractors in Ukraine and Iain Banks.

I’ve not managed to wade through Sartre’s The Age of Reason. Had a few goes at it but it beats me every time. The Rainbow started off well but that beat me as well. The Catcher in the Rye has to be read at a certain time in your life otherwise it just doesn’t work. I read it in one sitting overnight but I doubt I’d go back to it. Ian Rankin’s Rebus series starts pretty badly but gets a lot better by the 4th or 5th one.

Still remember all these bad books are a lot better than most of the rubbish on here. 🙂

Whilst I’d agree that ‘The Da Vinci Code’ has less literary merit than ‘The Hardy Boys, I have to say that Umberto Eco’s intellectual tour de force ‘Foucault Pendulum’ was one of the most turgid, pretentious piles of toss I have ever read. I read it after reading John Fowles’s stunning ‘The Magus’, and was hoping for something similar, but I’ve avoided anything by Eco ever since.

And as for ‘The Catcher in the Rye’, it is indeed superb if you read it when you’re 16 – as I did – but I read it again recently and found myself just wanting to forcibly drown the narrator in a vat of his own wee.

IMO
The fowler family business by jonathan meades – wonder why I even persevered with it.
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance by robert pirsig – never finished it, got bored.
Meteor by dan brown – awful plot.
And the ass saw the angel by nick cave – its so flippin difficult to read!

Oh I forgot –

Anything by Clive Cussler. Badly written (apart from very precise descriptions of cars) and completely stupid plots. Non-sequiteurs rule!

TenMen, good call on the Magus, is a fantastic book.

Post Office by Charles Bukowski

A miserable book, with miserable characters written in a miserable way.
(Highly recommended to any Smiths fans out there)

I’m constantly disappointed by so called classics that I feel I have to read in order to call myself educated and literate. Maybe I’m just a philistine. This includes.

Tale of Two Cities- did they really make a film about this turgid nonsense

Moby Dick- found out a lot about the New England whaling industry but not a lot else

Heart of Darkness- same as for Tale of Two Cities only the movie (Apocalypse Now) was much better

I just bought the Heart of Darkness.
I’ll put it on the bottom of the pile 🙂