Viewing 38 posts - 1 through 38 (of 38 total)
  • Patethetic Excuse Generator
  • StirlingCrispin
    Full Member

    Fed up with having to make up fresh pathetic excuses to get out of riding with your mates?

    I have curated a list of pathetic excuses – all used recently as pathetic excuses by my pathetic mates.

    Generate your pathetic excuse now!
    (fresh pathetic excuse generated every 5 minutes or so).

    https://tinyurl.com/33jeh9ab

    Post below if you want your own pathetic excuse added to the list.

    winston
    Free Member

    If I go out there will be nobody left in the house and my cat is scared of being alone.

    true story

    sirromj
    Full Member

    I can’t ride because I’m debugging my pathetic excuse generator.

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middlin...
    Latest Singletrack Videos
    a11y
    Full Member

    I can’t ride because I’m editing the thread title on STW…

    tthew
    Full Member

    That’s excellent.

    I just got, can’t go because I don’t want to be hungover again.

    If that’s genuine, it’s a corker!

    sharkattack
    Full Member

    “I got into bikes accidentally and I don’t even enjoy it anymore.”

    rickmeister
    Full Member

    I can’t go out riding right now. These pork pies won’t eat themselves you know!

    Stevelol
    Free Member

    I just cleaned my bike

    v7fmp
    Full Member

    “It’s too scrabbly”

    what does that even mean?!

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    (A self employed person) I might have work that day. (And that’s much more important than my friendship with you or taking a rare day off two days before Christmas!)
    😐

    DrJ
    Full Member

    Aah – I thought this thread would be about DPD and Evri not delivering anything due to the unexpected arrival of Christmas.

    ojom
    Free Member

    ‘I need to somehow revive my sourdough starter’

    ‘I read online i should be tapering this time of year’

    ‘I’m building a raspberry Pi to calculate thermal efficiency of my hot tub which i think i can power from my Tesla with Octopus between 2am and 5am’

    Del
    Full Member

    Aah – I thought this thread would be about DPD and Evri not delivering anything due to the unexpected arrival of Christmas

    Ha! I thought ups! 🤣

    andrewh
    Free Member

    I just cleaned my bike

    Does anyone else sometimes take an inappropriate bike because that is already dirty and the more suitable one is spotless?
    This once lead to a fractured wrist trying to ride down from the 3 Brethren on the gravel bike as I’d just finished cleaning the HT🙈

    nickc
    Full Member

    I can’t come, I’ve accidentally stabbed myself in the foot, and my shoe is filling with blood.

    saucemerlin
    Free Member

    That component hasn’t arrived.

    I’ve fettled something that wasn’t broken and now it is.

    It is dark, I might fall off.

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    The espresso machine isn’t working.

    saucemerlin
    Free Member

    I can’t ride today because I’ve not been riding enough lately.

    Phil_H
    Full Member

    I’ve just taken a sachet of picolax

    I can’t get my feet into my Lake winter boots.

    Seriously how the hell are you supposedly to get mxz304s onto your feet?

    saucemerlin
    Free Member

    I might be needed at home.

    neilthewheel
    Full Member

    My kit is still drying.

    Edit: Ah, now I understand.
    How about, “I can’t ride because I’m too stupid to follow some simple instructions”.

    doomanic
    Full Member

    “It’s too scrabbly”

    what does that even mean?!

    If a reference to available grip.

    StirlingCrispin
    Full Member

    ‘I need to somehow revive my sourdough starter’

    All these excellent excuses will be added tomorrow.
    Although “I just cleaned my bike” is already in there.

    Scrabbly – like blown out but with stones.

    Thread title. Doh! I got it correct the first time I posted.

    jkomo
    Full Member

    I’m a massive ****.

    jamesoz
    Full Member

    My Tyres dont match

    I might sober up

    I can’t afford to charge my Ebike

    fazzini
    Full Member

    I can’t tide today. I need my beard to grow more so I don’t feel inadequate riding my gravel bike.

    reluctantjumper
    Full Member

    This was a genuine one back when I was younger:

    “I can’t, it’s THAT time of the month!”

    Said Stuart.

    His then girlfriend suffered with very heavy periods and he had to be on standby for the two days every month. Very noble of him but he could have warned us it was a possibility rather than the whole group finding out when the text is read out.

    Sandwich
    Full Member

    My one was most appropriate:

    I’ve caught the wife’s cold! (I’ve caught her flu but close enough).

    Phil_H
    Full Member

    I’ve sprained my gluteus maximus!

    grumpyrs
    Full Member

    “The panda may be pregnant”

    blackhat
    Free Member

    I am fettling my woodburner

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    There are no ambulances today. No, really.

    big_scot_nanny
    Full Member

    <div id=”post-12658682″ class=”bbp-reply-header d-flex justify-content-between w-100 p-0 mb-2″>
    <div class=”bbp-reply-author d-flex align-items-center flex-wrap”><span class=”bbp-author-name”>a11y</span>
    <div class=”bbp-author-role”>
    <div class=””>Full Member</div>
    </div>
    </div>
    <div class=”d-flex align-items-between”></div>
    </div>
    <div class=”p-0 loop-item-3 user-id-2786 bbp-parent-forum-180315 bbp-parent-topic-12658617 bbp-reply-position-4 even post-12658682 reply type-reply status-publish hentry”>
    <div class=”bbp-reply-content p-0″>

    I can’t ride because I’m editing the thread title on STW…

    </div>
    </div>

    Ha ha! Excellent!

    StirlingCrispin
    Full Member

    There are no ambulances today. No, really.

    Hah ! Brilliant. Had a lot of that during Covid and have also added: “Keeping safe like Boris said”.

    Also:
    “Broke my finger placing it in a spinning front wheel” – genuine !
    “”I can’t feel my arms” – genuine. Heal fast Ang!

    Excuse #114:
    “Arguing with a Big Hitter on Singletrack”

    Clover
    Full Member

    Re Lakes winter boots. I hear you. I have got it down to 97 seconds per boot. On a good day. They are warm.

    a11y
    Full Member

    Thread of the week – well done!

    “I can’t ride my bike because I’ve disappeared up my own arse” 😀

    zerocool
    Full Member

    If I don’t want to do something sociable I just blame it on a poorly kid.

    13thfloormonk
    Full Member

    Can’t ride because I just punched myself in the face trying to put my bib shorts on this morning 🙄

    (happened this AM, was both painful and a shock and thus annoying annoying enough it was almost enough for me to go back to bed and sack off the ride altogether)

Viewing 38 posts - 1 through 38 (of 38 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.