It has begun. Xmas survival thread

Sister in law has arrived… fun stops here.

My condolence slackboy. I lost my old man a couple of years ago as well, first christmas was difficult.

This year we are looking after a dog.

And as usual the SIL and the MIL.

I might start the foundations of the patio now.

In a hotel in Kerry with Mrs Kilo, the SIL and MIL, just spanked three bottles of champagne and watched the muppet movie, so not going to bad so far.

This thread is pure schadenfreude (not the deaths, just the family based misery)

My dad died in 2017. Last Xmas was strange. Doesn’t feel any better this year. Sort of like there is no focus to the family as despite all my siblings being 30s we still went “home”. Doesn’t feel right to do this now. I’m hosting a limited range of familly. Don’t mind the cost but I could do without having to project manager Xmas. Feels like a job.

In the pub with my boy. Beer and pool!

We’ve got a new cat and it never tires of destroying the decorations. No need for the telly as Jan Åga Fjortoft is having the bestest time ever.

Thanks everyone. The lakes was bloody gorgeous today

karaoke now 😃

Ah, we had to leave pub before karaoke, but it is now time for dead pig by the tonne!

I’m not sure much sympathy is forthcoming

My boy just told the SIL not to speak with her mouth full which makes up for me not being allowed to watch Kellys Heros!

A cheery Junior finally phoned Madame and she now has her nose in the copies of Cheval magazine I got her for Christmas. So far so good.

Really not feeling it this year. Going to be with the parents so will be a day of them moaning, bickering and passive aggressive shit. Luckily I’ll be taking my Nan along so she’ll keep me sane.
Feeling quite alone and shitty, just want the next couple of weeks to go by, trying hard not to think of everyone else having a fun time

me & the cat have got this christmas lark locked down

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comfy Christmas cat #minka #catsofinstagram #cat #cats

A post shared by Low Speed Adventurer (@rocketdoguk) on Dec 24, 2018 at 10:46am PST

Kilo – threesome AND keeping it in the family….

@Slackboy my condolences, in May it was my farther so this year will be difficult,for me there is too much pressure to make things perfect, when to be fair I clearly would rather miss the day,but a brave face for my kids and wife (who’s mum will be coming round who’s also quiet Ill). Might have to start on the wine early and hope it helps skip the time till the 26 th when I get back out on the hills…

I’ve got to survive being with my uncle for 2 days. He’s a DM reading, swivel-eyed idiot who point blank refuses to see anyone else’s point of view on anything and never shuts up! Survival technique is to go for a ride tomorrow morning before going down to my parent’s house, picking him up on the way. Then I’ll try taking the parent’s dog for a walk (a long one!) before food and presents. Then I have to drop him back off at home before back to my parents to stay the night. Go for a ride in the morning, probably just along the canal for a few miles, and repeat the day before until my sister and her family come round for boxing day. Then it’s home and back to work Thursday.

Christmas would be fine if it wasn’t for my uncle but seeing as he has no family of his own and no friends (everyone locally avoids him if they can!) we don’t really have a choice. When it gets to the point where my parents are no longer around I’ll happily escape for the day on the bike and see no-one, boxing day would be to see my sister as she does her own family thing on xmas day. Used to work xmas day to avoid the hassle but work shuts down now so I can no longer be the office guardian building epic Scalextric tracks round the place. I know all that sounds a bit bah humbug but I don’t like the whole ‘It’s christmas, you MUST have fun!’ crap that seems to happen. A quiet, simple meal and exchanging of a single present each would do me fine.

My parents in law are being fun sponges as usual. I reckon I’m two beers away from not caring any more.

Got the wife’s folks and her gran coming for dinner tomorrow, love em, super people, love looking after them for the day, and Mrs Nobeer glows when they’re here.

Canny wait.

All the best STWers. X

Condolences to all those that are missing family.

No outlaws, just a few friends over tmrw, all prep done, feeding Mrs M Sloe G&T’s at present. Rode over to the pub earlier on the SS, Mrs M and the hounds spanked me.

Working Boxing Day, first shift after passing out so slight trepidation there.

Well I just failed to sing carols and told my mother to shut up, love this time of year but hate the absolute pretence of it all. Can’t we just have a bbq and get pissed?

You are not alone Mike. I told the MIL that “this is our house and we dont do that here”. 5 days to go!

she’s fun really. just never stops talking. Never.

Why you lot waste time with this malarkey is beyond me..

Get some headphones, grab either a guitar or slam on some Euro Dance music and bounce around the house like I am..

🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🥂🍻🍻🍻🥃👍🔥

Just had a disagreement with the missus as she wants to cover the floor in glitter! Aagghhh.
Have also had an awkward moment with a Slovakian friend who had her own rules for junior monopoly. Wtf.
On the plus side ,we did waitrose in 36 minutes and skating at Somerset house this morning was aces.

Kilo – threesome AND keeping it in the family….

I’m in Ireland not Norfolk!

OMG I’m so drunk.

It’s marvellous.

Got in laws & brother/sosyer in law staying with their daughter. They just announced they are expecting another too.
In laws are pretty good but FILs idea of Xmas TV is repeats of top gear on Dave, at max volume.

Our kids were up at 5 and I only finished drinking with the BIL at 1, so making Xmas dinner for 6 adults & 5 kids will be fun. My wife has had flu all week too!
Tomorrow the other BIL turns up so we are doing it all again for 8 adults & 7 kids!

I got a good bike ride in yesterday morning fortunately.

I went to the Co-Op yesterday, the pub is next door and predictably the inevitable happened and I was found hiding in there !
Lovely ride in the sunny Pentlands yesterday, junior MissNZCol got up at 8 and made up with a stuffed Tiger for Xmas. Grandparents all fussing so we are off out riding !

Spent a couple of hours longer than I should have in the pub yesterday, so need a couple of drinks with lunch before im above par.

The mother has just announced that she’s just putting the sprouts on.
The old man has 3 plugin air fresheners on full whack to mask the smell of cooking, I’m being choked by them and he’s being arsey when I’ve switched them off.

It’s going to be a long day. Luckily I’m escaping to pick myNan up shortly, i’ll Take the long route and drag it out as much as I can

Have also had an awkward moment with a Slovakian friend who had her own rules for junior monopoly. Wtf.

Did you quickly move on to Twister?

Just finished a fat full breakfast. Kids are straining at the leash to open presents…

Sister in law has arrived… fun stops here.

Drac’s sister? ;-)

Just finished a fat full breakfast. Kids are straining at the leash to open presents…

Brekkie before presents? Holy ****, Victorian dad or what? 🤣

Half the pressies opened, forced the kids to eat something other than chocolate then off to the BiL for lunch for 12, plus 4 dogs….
FiL is a grumpy judgmental prick, I give it 20min before I tell him so (literally, it’s that rapid!) then I’m crawling into a bottle of bourbon from which I’ll emerge on Boxing Day to play with shotguns!

Can not understand people’s mentality at all at this time of year. Just popped around to the sisters who has one small child. The mountain of plastic chinese tat toys that the kid will never get the chance to play with because by the time she gets to toy 15 she will be grown out of it. Then around to mums who is just as bad even though we are all past our 20’s. The consumerism and copious spending is quite sickly really. I could have suggested better ways to have spent the money into actual useful items that you make use of all year.

The consumerism and copious spending is quite sickly really. I could have suggested better ways to have spent the money into actual useful items that you make use of all year

It’s easily possible to do both. My presents were a pair of Five Tens and a coffee machine.

My lad got nothing that won’t last, all useful items. Well apart from going to watch the wrestling, but that’s memories!

Bah humbug, we don’t all buy useless shite rmac, mibbe be a better idea whining at your family instead of us lot.

Can I just say thank you for this thread and its associated wry smile – thank you all and Merry festive whatever.

For me is about keeping everyone else on track and taxiing, can so relate to the comment about it feeling like project management rather than a break :/

Thank you all for making me feel a little better, now off to mentally curse family .. a lot.

James