Blooming badgers

Laid new turf in front lawn Friday and had a small part rolled up that night. So l built BDS 4000 (badger defence system) which consists of pinned down chicken wire looped back on itself at the edge of the lawn which is right on top of a small retaining wall. The wall is, at its lowest, a foot.

This morning it was utter devastation and BDS 4000 clearly needs major development work… I can’t see where they have got in.

So have they jumped it? And please help with your ideas…. The madder the better

I’m confused as to how you know it was a badger ?

Along with what the badger was actually doing ?

This is all new to me.

They tunneled in… Badgers are very good at digging

Rumour has it Dick Fosbury trained under a badger regime

A badger (to my knowledge) can’t jump. Can climb. You need to fill in all the holes of the chicken wire. Try sealant. If the sealant pokes through the holes and falls out of the back whilst applying, then simply prep the wire fence first by affixing gaffer tape to the back. This will allow anti-badger-sealant to affix, thereby avoiding fresh sealant falling through the holes in the wire and spoiling the lawn.

An extra precautionary-measure might be to lay Marmite around the base of the fence. This should confuse the olfactory senses or may even offend the badger sufficiently to drive her away without further ado.

Divert their interest with mashed potatoes.

I hear having another pet is quite effective in persuading them round to the neighbours.

How was it a badger?

Well unless the local squirrels have been pumping iron not sure there are many other animals in sunny Brentwood that can roll or drag a whole length of turf about.

Oh and did l mention the badger set that takes up a good portion of next doors back garden

And they defo haven’t dug thier way in.

this url tells you all you need to know.

https://www.wpr.org/badger-pole-vaulter-claims-bronze-1928-olympics

(note: it’s probably not worth following it if you’re looking for images of pole vaulting badgers)

How high can a badger jump?

Depends on a couple of factors…..is your Badger tubeless and what pressure are you inflating it to?

Divert their interest with mashed potatoes

This. Everybody knows, Badgers love mashed potatoes!

Forgot to say – ensure zero garden furniture etc within a mile of the lawn. While badgers can’t literally jump they can and will utilise anything going in order to get some air. Sneaky badger @ 55secs

NSFW (earworm) etc…

[video]https://youtu.be/t8ZGAzsGi2s[/video]

You sure it wasn’t a Honey Badger?

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c36UNSoJenI[/video]

I’m confused as to how you know it was a badger ?

There was tyre sealant all over the patio

Not sure how hight they can jump but they don’t half shift when you put a chain ring into them at 20mph.

Also, shotgun.

Those two videos are great for different reasons.

The first one when the badgers are in the conifer hedge, the road side edge of my lawn is a low (and staying that way) conifer hedge so now l’ve got visions of my badgers doing that… Lol

And as for the Honey badger… l knew pound for pound and they are pretty much the hardest animal, but didn’t realise how clever they are….. As an aside l did read somewhere about Wolverines being excellent at mountain rescue, as their super intelligence makes them easy to train!?

Any way BDS4100 is operational… I’ve secured the corners better (think one may have been the weak spot). Bottom of the (rolled/looped back on itself) chicken wire is pinned down more. Under the conifer hedge l’ve zipped tied the top of the chicken wire to it, so that the wire is tight against the bottom of the hedge in case they were climbing over that. But really didn’t think they’d scramble over semi loose CW?

On a late shift today so when l get back it’ll be dark…. Would be good if l caught them in the act, then l could see how they are getting out and so possibly how they are getting in?

Badgers? Jumping?

l knew pound for pound and they are pretty much the hardest animal

I think a Tardigrade would take issue with you about that 🙂

There was tyre sealant all over the patio

Chapeau.

Son – is that you? I genuinely thought only my 8 yr old would ask “how high can a badger jump”, usually about 1.5 seconds after he’s asked “does Lionel Messi have a Smiggle pencil case?”.

Son – is that you? I genuinely thought only my 8 yr old would ask “how high can a badger jump”, usually about 1.5 seconds after he’s asked “does Lionel Messi have a Smiggle pencil case?”.

Yep. Where does Batman go to the toilet?

No.

As any 70s schoolboy kno, how high is a chinaman.

@welshfarmer – That HB video has brightened my day no end 😆

[Quote]I think a Tardigrade would take issue with you about that [/quote]
Know what you’re saying, but I also know which would shit me up more if I found it on the other side of a freshly-opened door. 🙂

There was tyre sealant all over the patio

I always thought badgers could jump to about throat height…

Try beer. When I was in Zambia they had an issue with honey badgers breaking into the stores and necking all the beer. You can probably get some good badger brew ales that would distract them from the boring turf roll.

Either that or check you haven’t pissed off your mental neighbour

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

I always thought badgers could jump to about throat height…

You’re thinking of – um – whatever this is

I’d jump pretty high if a gurny faced muppet shoved his fist up my arse.

I’d jump pretty high if a gurny faced muppet shoved his fist up my arse.

No need to bring the Chuckle Brothers into this!

They’ll be looking for insect larvae or building a latrine most probably.

RSPCA reckons “Erect a strong chain link badger-proof fence around the garden (or vulnerable crops) that is more than 1.25m high. The base needs to be buried into the ground by at least 30cm and extended at right angles underground for 50cm – facing outwards from the exclusion area.”

https://www.rspca.org.uk/ImageLocator/LocateAsset?asset=document&assetId=1232737643055&mode=prd

So they can probably get over your fence.

Give these guys a call if you’re absolutely certain it’s badgers – they might have some advice.

http://www.ebpg.co.uk/

They’re protected by law. Just saying.

Lower than white men, unless they have been trained by Kris Kross. 😉

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=010KyIQjkTk[/video]

[video]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI[/video]

Thanks ehrob …. but I actually think filling the holes in the chicken wire with sealant might be easier than the RSPCA option …. 🙂

But thanks for your efforts and rest assured Ive no intention of hurting any of our stripped faced friends

Judging by the Stoffel video, your badger(s) are out to enjoy p*ss*ng on your chips.

Nerf Sentry Gun 😉

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbkLjjlMV8[/video]

Invite this chap round to stay. Badger hates him and will soon clear off.