It’s so full I just stand on the ladder and throw new stuff over the junk near the hatch to land on the oldest junk at the back. I plough a path to the Christmas decorations every December. Most of the ‘spare’ wallpaper, rolled up rugs and carpet offcuts don’t match the current decor and all of the paint will have dried on the tins. Bashed lampshades, Nokia phones, faulty film cameras, roof racks, old Hi-Fi, records and cassettes, VHS Videos, expensive SCART leads, broken tents, kiddy clothes, 4 x winter wheels & tyres that don’t fit the current car, damaged suitcases, my deceased MIL’s favourite hat and her wedding dress, a dog guard for a 1999 Audi A4 and off cuts from long replaced DIY projects are some of pointless crap that come to mind. There must be a couple of tons up there and it isn’t a load bearing floor. There’s a heavy wooden drawer full of Haynes manuals (including a Peugeot 104), various 1980s car magazines and a Kylie calendar strategically placed directly above my side of the bed. If the ceiling collapses, my last moment will be happy and someone else can clear up decades of detritus after my funeral.
