Cameron and the Pig

wow

maybe it’s a coincidence but of all the online spaces i visit this forum has the highest concentration of both a) high earning middle-aged blokes and b) people saying ‘hey, we all did stupid shit when we were younger…’ 😮

#swine/eleven

might have to skive off work for the morning just to read all the jokes on twitter 😀

What is being alleged is not part of a normal, well adjusted persons youthful high jinx – its shagging a dead pig. You have to be pretty deranged for that to be considered excusable or in some way acceptable rather than the repulsive acts of a potential pyschopath!

So he has a hard on for lardon… Someone squealed. If I wrote Corbin’s speeches from here on in they’d be Peppa’d with references to this.

I give in. I don’t give sufficient of a shit.

b) people saying ‘hey, we all did stupid shit when we were younger…’

I managed four years at uni without once putting any part of myself inside a pig, dressing up as a Nazi, snorting coke, or burning £50 notes in front of homeless people.

Maybe this is why I got a public sector job and joined the Green Party? Perhaps the “hey, we were all young once” crowd could indicate their voting preferences?

It’s funny isn’t it? My Uni indescretions included drinking too much, falling over, completely failing to snog Debbie Pearson and falling asleep in a ditch. No farm animals involved.

I managed four years at uni without once putting any part of myself inside a pig, dressing up as a Nazi, snorting coke, or burning £50 notes in front of homeless people.

Maybe this is why I got a public sector job and joined the Green Party? Perhaps the “hey, we were all young once” crowd could indicate their voting preferences?

well quite. when i was at uni i could typically be seen at 5am on a sunday in a squat or under a railway arch consuming class A narcotics (maybe this is why i got a 2:2 and went to work in a pub) – it turns out that i was still comparatively strait laced compared to some 😕

poshness / dead animal sidenote: i know a guy who, for some reason, had a dead squirrel in his freezer. he told me that once during a fairly depraved night at his, they played some drinking game, the squirrel came out, and the forfeit was that you had to have a nuzzle off the squirrel. He is probably the poshest person i know.

Seems like the Bullingdon Club was just a bad taste party for the super rich.

I don’t think the rugby (or hockey) clubs at my uni could afford a pig. Didn’t stop them from dipping their todgers in their pints every other Wednesday at the local student dive.

Are we still all in this together? If so I’d want to be somewhere near the front of the queue.

maybe he had a long term crush on…

Thinking about it, it’s very brave of Cameron to come out as hamosexual.

I’d like to think that this was the culmination of a heartfelt romance with picnics in the park, boating, a night at the pictures and an intimate dinner. It’s a shame it didn’t work long term really, I could see him marrying a putrefying pig carcass and taking it home to mother. However it appears that this was just him satiating his carnal desires and leaving the poor sow sullied and bereft. Still I imagine Gideon ate it as we all know how much he hates waste.

Did he actually **** it though or just dip it in, massive difference…

Lolz!

Charlie Brooker ?@charltonbrooker

Shit. Turns out Black Mirror is a documentary series.

11:05 PM – 20 Sep 2015

*couldn’t be bothered to screen shot.

Did he actually **** it though or just dip it in, massive difference…

The “I didn’t inhale” defence?

I can’t see him standing in front of the press and saying look, “Yes I did that but it’s ok, I didn’t ejaculate”

“I did not impale…!”

Hehe, well, just dipping your bits into something although a bit silly is at the end of the day not that abnormal (hang with me!), go to any piss up where it’s predominantly young Males and this shit happens all the time! Now, getting your wee chipolata out, fluffing him up and then smashing a dead pigs head that’s perched on someone’s lap is something else entirely!

go to any piss up where it’s predominantly young Males and this shit happens all the time

Is this where I went wrong? Every piss-up I ever went on was mixed. Is this a single-sex public school thing?

Hehe, well, just dipping your bits into something although a bit silly is at the end of the day not that abnormal (hang with me!), go to any piss up where it’s predominantly A CERTAIN TYPE OF young Males and this shit happens all the time!

When I was at uni it was generally the exclusive territory of swaggering, shit-thick, rugby-obsessed, popped-collared, guffawing southern bell ends that everybody else viewed with utter contempt, and a weary resignation to the fact that they’d inevitably do far, far better than the rest of us in life, despite being a bunch of utterly charmless, loathsome cocks, due to the shitty way our anti-meritocratic society is structured.

go to any piss up where it’s predominantly young Males and this shit happens all the time

Really? REALLY?

Went out on lots of male only pissups including several stag dos and never saw anyone ******* a dead pig. We obviously move in different social circles.

#edit – binners pretty much hits the nail on the head there.

via Imgflip Meme Maker

In the interest of balance I think it only fair we cut CMDs head off and get a pig to **** it.

Maybe it is because the majority of us couldn’t afford an afore mentioned pig.

I was on the university rugby league team for 3 years (president in my final year… I think, could have been secretary) and the worst thing I did was turn up with a KitKat to a union funding meeting and nearly got lynched by the anti-nestle mob.

go to any piss up where it’s predominantly young Males and this shit happens all the time!

I have been on many, many pissups over the years. I’ve been on sessions which have been predominantly young males, predominantly middle aged males, women, mixed ages, mixed sexes, mixed sexualities, the whole gamut. I have friends who are variously straight-laced, kinksters, furries, gay, bisexual, trans, again you name it.

And never, not once in nearly three decades of parties, gatherings, lash-ups, stag dos and holidays, has anyone said to me “I’ve got this great idea… you get your nob out whilst I go and find a dead pig.”

I’d respectfully suggest if this “happens all the time” that what you’ve got there is a quality control issue.

Well this story provides Cameron with a serious headache imo as it would appear to be impossible to disprove.

Ashcroft claims that an unnamed person, who presumably wasn’t present when the alleged incident took place, in turn claims that they saw a photograph of the alleged incident ….. talk about hearsay ffs.

Cameron can’t accuse Ashcroft of lying as he can’t prove that the unnamed person didn’t tell Ashcroft what he claims they did.

This Ashcroft allegation doesn’t imo tell us anything with any certainty other than that a former very senior Tory politician is not only a greedy tax-dodger with a long history of using coercive tactics, but also clearly vengeful.

No wonder he made it to the top of the Conservative Party.

I’ve been on sessions which have been predominantly young males, predominantly middle aged males, mixed ages, mixed sexes, mixed sexualities, the whole gamut. I have friends who are variously straight-laced, kinksters, furries, gay, bisexual, trans, again you name it.

……….. nearly three decades of parties, gatherings, lash-ups, stag dos and holidays

Couger – [frothing]

Calm down dear.

To late for an edit now, for sure dead pig willy dipping is at the most extreme end 😆 and 😆 @ Binners, a fairly concise description! Not me, can’t say I’ve ever felt the need to dip my shiz into anything other than my current partner!

I think the important question here is whether ‘little Dave’ was flacid or standing to attention ?
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fwiw, Ive been to various alternative clubs in london and seen quite a lot of extreme stuff from performers and partygoes and Ive never seen anyone penetrate a pigs head.
I suspect that there ill be a cabaret/stage show at some of the halloween events that will involve a cameron mask and a pigs head, however

What is being alleged is not part of a normal, well adjusted persons youthful high jinx – its shagging a dead pig. You have to be pretty deranged for that to be considered excusable or in some way acceptable rather than the repulsive acts of a potential pyschopath!

or have gone to Public School, where such things are considered run of the mill….

Perhaps the “hey, we were all young once” crowd could indicate their voting preferences?

Indifferent.

met a guy in the pub recently who claims to have done the deed with nicola sturgeon…

i fail to see the difference

or have gone to Public School, where such things are considered run of the mill….

I believe dead pig ****ing was on Friday afternoons after rugger practice.

Japes.

CMD better hope the alleged picture never surfaces*, or itll be Tory Sleeze x100

if only Ed Balls was still an MP, you can bet he’d be oinking away at PMQs

*I imagine MI5 have already done their best to make sure all copies have been destroyed by now

met a guy in the pub recently who claims to have done the deed with nicola sturgeon…

i fail to see the difference

I wouldn’t worry about it: Nicola thinks you’re an ugly fecker.

What bad news has slipped under the radar today, then?

Pigface’s absence from this thread is suspicious.

they’ve decided to stop providing free school meals.

Nicola was quite impressed.

even jeremy vine doesnt know what to say

https://vine.co/v/ePiuw33TWij

Leaving the unfortunate misogyny aside for a minute, I’ve been very drunk on occasion, very, very drunk…but I have never ever contemplated putting my winkie in or near an animal, alive or dead.

It amazes me that elements of the right-wing press who’ve called Corbyn out on allegedly having sexual relations in the 1970s with a real human being can make excuses for what the Prime Minister did as a university student by saying words to the effect of “a dead pig? Students do it all the time. Still, Diane Abbot, eh?”.

I’m waiting for the newspaper headline:

Sam’s man in ham ram scam

they’ve decided to stop providing free school meals.

they have indeed