Bike names that should exist.

The Trek unnecessary new standard or UNS530 in Trek parlance. The Stooge McDuck

Evil Pritti
Giant Mediocrity
Trek Decapitator

The Niner T9 Balloon fat bike

Cannondale Cracknfail

Cove Cottager

On-One Jobseeker

On-One ‘noffagain
Planet X Plosion
Cannondale Hill’ncrawlup (say it quick)
Surly Xpression

CX bike called The Flagellator

I’m still annoyed that after I independently came up with Chromag it turned out someone else had done it. (spoiler: It was Chromag). So I named that bike the Iron Chicken instead, and tbh that’s a bloody good name for a steel bike.

Not forgetting…

What about a bit of direct honesty in a bike range

The Cheap Intro
The Basic but Good
The Extra Shiny Bits
The Overpriced Range Topper

I like the Santa Cruz theme.

SC APR
SC Credit Check

They literally actually call their premium carbon range the ‘CC’ range…

On-One Jobseeker

Best.

I ride a rigid 29er. Perhaps I should name it after what I say when I’m trying to follow my mates on full bouncers or burly hardtails down steep techy stuff.
The Salsa ‘s**t! s**t! s**t!’. Or the ‘no f***ing way I’m riding down that!’.

On-One Warranty Replacement.

Holdsworth Mike Ashley.

Surly Beard Oil.

Yeti Bourgeois.

Santa Cruz Stereotype.

Orange How Much?

Ellesworth Shitting Dog.

Dawes Past Glories.

Pashley Gammonette.