[Closed] You know that you have been out of the office too long when :

The supermarket? Better be able to run faster than the security guards though. Doubt you'll need the bike for that kind of jog 😉

You go in for the first time in 53 weeks to return your kit as you are being made redundant and you don't really recognise the inside of the building, or remember where your desk is to collect stuff you'd forgotten was even there. The pair of pants in my desk draw was confusing, till I remembered I cycled in without some one day, so stashed an emergency pair at the back of the draw!

You forget the alarm code last week.
(Sorry to all the business park users)

...they've sold it.

We've had to buy pens for the kids to do their homework out of our own money

When you feel getting out of bed at 8.45 is an early start....

The reason for the rising bills is coffee and bog roll

You only dress your torso for Teams calls

You only dress your torso for Teams calls

When your boss stops asking for the camera to be turned on and just accepts it.

You have disturbing dreams the jaffa cakes you left in your office drawer last March have evolved and staged a hostile takeover of the board.

You settle at your desk part-way through a Teams call and realise that the reason people around the office are choking, eyes watering and wafting their hands about is because you farted. Just like you’ve done without thinking for 12 months or more at home with impunity

You've forgotten the security code for the bike lockup.

You can't get into your formal work shoes as you've not worn shoes often or for long for 12 months.

You can't remember if you cleaned your teeth this morning, or not

You’ve started and completed a contract without physically meeting your colleagues or even getting a pass to the s****y new office that was supposed to be your teams’s base.

There's nobody left working for the company who actually lives in Manchester any more.

You stream your teams meeting over discord to take the piss out of your boss with your mates - whilst drinking - at 11am.

You also forget to mute teams.

I’m a degenerate.

I just get my stationary delivered to my home address 🤗

You have no idea where your work shoes are.

You have become so used to the privacy of working from home that when the office does open for one day a week, you can’t get through a morning without a dangerw@nk.

Your office has moved 1/2 mile down the road to what was a building site when you last went in.

When you move back to the office, there are two new staff you have not met in person since they started....

I'm part of a team of 10 who have never met each other.

Gonna be weird going back

You’ve totally forgotten the train timetable / the cycle route in and out of the campus!

When you move house after a year of WFH and fint a plastic box with a key and 2 fobs, and you forget that they are of the office and bike shed...

..when you find Hammersmith bridge is closed to cyclists and you don't remember any alternative routes.. then don't know where they've put the bike racks (complete with my massive lock and chain)

Your work trousers a long way from fitting comfortably. I had to go in to the office the other week for a few hours. Had to try and hold my stomach in the whole time I was there to prevent an embarrassing button-popping moment.

When you still have winter commuter tyres on on your commuter bike, from last year. I should really change them to slicks, just for knowing that I did it. even though I would normally have done that in April.

You print stuff on actual paper? How quaint.

I only WFH for about 2 weeks last March, but we can always tell when an office goes back (I work for an IT support co.) because our helpdesk gets flooded with requests for password resets, printer issues and such. Also a few issues when a user restarts a PC that's been left on and locked for 8 months.

...you've forgotten about the bar of Dairy Milk you stashed in your desk drawer on the last day in the office last March in anticipation of a depressing return to the office. Thanks past self, nice work 👊

When you go back in and all the monitors on angle-poise arms have wilted and look like dead flowers.

You don't recognise your colleague because he's washing the car of the boss next door (he likes washing cars, he's still my superior too!)

When you think nothing of revealing that you're wearing pink running shorts to work in.

We get a monthly email asking if we need any stationary supplies sent to our home addresses - it seemed a bit ridiculous to ask them to post me an A4 notepad though so I did the unthinkable and bought one from my local Tesco