TopGun certainly is not so bad its good. It is just an awful awful film. 😀
Anything with Tom Cruise in it. Generally a series of close profile shots with interspersed action by not Tom Cruise.
King Kong the remake one.
I have tried watching it 4 times now, and have fell asleep half way through on all 4 occasions.
The wife wasn't impressed when I fell asleep through it the first time (we was dating then) - so she put me through it again, and again, and again - just to prove a theory.
It's crap.
I LOVED TopGun when I was a kid, I rember Tom and ER going upside down and giving the Mig 'the bird', unauthorised fly-bys, F14 barrell rolls with 'smoke' pouring off the fins at the back, fatal tailspins, classified battles over stricken ships, several scenes which were actually in Iron Eagle, GPZ Turbos and 80's soft-rock, credits - END.
Watched it again in my 20's and some shit had added in soft core homoerotic porn, piss poor karaoke and soft focus Mills & Boon love scenes.
It's a bit crap though, first in a series of Tom Cruise films which all have the same story bar his occupation and because of that it can't be the worst film in the world, because 'Cocktail' exists.
This thread demonstrates (amongst many other things) that:
- people like very different things;
- most of the films we all actually see aren't [i]that[/i] bad;
- a hyped or big-budget film that isn't amazing is easily rounded down to "worst film in cinema history";
- loads of people blatantly watch things they're too tired to concentrate on, and blame the film if they nod off. This leads to films without explosions getting a pass.
🙂
This thread demonstrates (amongst many other things) that:- people like very different things;
- most of the films we all actually see aren't that bad;
- a hyped or big-budget film that isn't amazing is easily rounded down to "worst film in cinema history";
- loads of people blatantly watch things they're too tired to concentrate on, and blame the film if they nod off. This leads to films without explosions getting a pass.
And that people can't tell a bad film from one they didn't enjoy.
And that people can't tell a bad film from one they didn't enjoy.
Oooh. Hark at he! Went to film school did we?
😉
Especially for Three Fish .... This weeks Guardian [url= http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/aug/06/hard-to-be-a-god-review-mud-blood-and-holy-hell ]film of the week [/url] sounds like the perfect way to shoot down my theory that all they recomend is pretentious twoddle.
It's 3 hours long. It's in black and white. It's Russian. I doubt it contains any exploding helicopters.
Sounds great! 😀
If you could do us a review......?
Inbetweeners 2. Been out for a while but I have just got around to seeing it. Well, 20 minutes of it anyway, couldn't handle anymore. Loved the series and the first film, the 2nd was just unbearable.
watched some crap last night, well started to watch , about vampires in NZ, a mockumentary. switched it off after 5 mins and cant even remember the name
Especially for Three Fish .... This weeks Guardian film of the week sounds like the perfect way to shoot down my theory that all they recomend is pretentious twoddle.
As a rule, I don't read reviews; I'd rather watch something with an open mind and clear from influence. Thanks, though, the trailer looks interesting - I'll see if I can find it to watch. I suspect it would be much more instructive for all if you wrote a review yourself. It's written by the brothers who wrote the work that Andrei Tarkovsky's '[i]Stalker[/i]' was based upon, so should at least have an impressive foundation.
There is some outstanding cinema from Russia. I recently watched '[i]The Belovs[/i]', a documentary by Victor Kossakovsky. It's about a brother and sister who live together on a farm somewhere in rural Russia. He is a drunkard with a tendency for 'philosophical' outbursts; she does practically everything needed to keep the place going. In the scene below, the sister listens to the film-maker's audio recording of an earlier argument between the two siblings. Not in the least bit pretentious; quite the opposite, on fact.
I would right a review, if it weren't for the fact that I'd rather remove my own kidneys with a teaspoon than sit through 3 hours of that. Sorry. Life's really just too short. The Premiership starts tomorrow. And that's two matches!
My comment on guardian five star reviews still stands. Those bastards owe me some time!
just tried to watch 44 inch chest starring Ray Winstone as Ray Winstone, Ian McShane as Ian McShane and John Hurt as somebody who swears even more than John Hurt. Gave up after an hour in favour of walking the dog.
I would right [sic] a review, if it weren't for the fact that I'd rather remove my own kidneys with a teaspoon than sit through 3 hours of that. Sorry. Life's really just too short.
I suspect that the length of the film wouldn't be the primary obstacle to your producing a worthwhile review.
If you buy the popcorn I'll meet you at 'Home' tomorrow then. We can pen a joint review over lattes afterwards.
I won't take anything sharp. Stops me self harming. Though I can't promise I won't start rocking back and too, gently sobbing
Yep. 100% agree. Furthermore a genre film, say Dog Soldiers or The Descent, or whatever is going to be more concerned with horror/atmosphere/gore/effects than they will continuity, realism etc.
Yet people still gleefully wax lyrical at the drop of a hat about how amazing Dogegg Soldiers is. It's not, it's crap. Bad Taste is how a terrible film should be done.
Surely Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull deserves a mention? Endless pointless CGI effects, awful acting, just utter rubbish. What was Harrison Ford thinking of?
One of many "lets see if the corpse will twitch" follow-ups of that time. See also Die Hard 4.0, Rambo, Die Hard Again But Even Crapper, Rocky Balboa, A Good Day to Just **** Off and Die etc.
* I now know that the Netflix star ratings are posted by under 16s
Nope, just vindictive gits like me who like to give the worst imaginable crap 5 star ratings 😀
Alien 3 is interesting. If you read about the production, the development process that led to the final film it's fascinating stuff. If you're interested in that kind of thing of course.David Fincher is a fantastic film maker and had a very clear vision of what he wanted. The studio and producers had very different ideas. It's amazing it's as good as it is.
Watching the two cuts is like watching two completely different films, Finchers cut made so much more sense. Alien Resurrectiojn suffered from the same thing IIRC.
(and can I just add that I'm glad we are referring to them all as films and not 'movies').After years of Hollywood corruption I'm now making a conscious effort to re-train my brain into defaulting to English again.
Quite. Also, it's a film or video. Not an "edit".
Malvern Rider
DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF KURT RUSSELL!
Iron Sky
Really? It's supposed to be crap, like really crap. It just ahd a better budget than Sharktopus (if you've not seen Sharktopus you REALLY should. It's awful. Hilariously so.)
bad even by the standards of "films with Jeff Bridges".
[img] 
[/img]
You what?
I think Roadhouse falls in to the 'so bad it's good category'.
Anything written or made by woody allen.
entourage the movie
The Mist
There Will be Blood
Contact
There Will be Blood
Now you're just trolling.
I watched Sharknado 2 last night. It just had to be done.
Can't wait for Sharknado 3.... 🙂
Now you're just trolling.
Nope, it's bloody awful.
Nope, you just didn't like it.
Nope, you just didn't like it.
Ah Ok I guess you know better than me then because I thought it was awful.
There Will Be Blood wasn't the worst film ever by any stretch, but it was a hell of a lot more boring than I expected.
This.There Will Be Blood wasn't the worst film ever by any stretch, but it was a hell of a lot more boring than I expected.
Too many long, moody silences and angsty looks. Still enjoyed it, but it wasn't as good as it could have been.
Ah Ok I guess you know better than me then because I thought it was awful.
Well, it's big of you to acknowledge it. Quite surprising, too.
Jupiter Ascending - Earth and other planets are essentially bees hives; at some point harvested some sort of life giving elixir. All owned by a galactic royal family, their 'king' has died leaving the siblings arguing over the inheritance. There's a girl on earth who's special for some reason.... Then I questioned why I was trying to follow this storyline that was really stupid and hard to follow, so turned it off.
Oh wait another.
Noah.
My god that was awful I didn't last 20 minutes.
I used to rely on the presence of Jack Nicholson as a reliable indicator that a film wouldn't be awful. Until I saw Wolf.
Highlander 2 is still worse though.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0236157/
Disco Pigs
Poster says "90 Minutes You will never forget", genuinely only movie I have ever walked out of at the cinema, so it was about 40 minutes I will never forget.
Possibly not the absolute worst film ever but for something that was hyped up and got good reviews Gangs of New York was an absolute shocker .
Matilda (1978)
We were on a Family ski trip to the Alpes, by coach.
The other coach in the convoy were watching ET which we hadn't seen and all our rep had was this film about a boxing kangaroo struggling to get recognition from the boxing association!
[url=
Cougar - Moderator
GTFO, Highlander is awesome.
Absolutely.
Highlander 2 on the other hand ... That gets my vote. It's the only film I've seen at the cinema where I was ready to walk out of. I only wish I had. I stayed to see if it got better, but it didn't. Bonkers how the same director came up with such an utter turd to follow up an excellent film, and manages to be an insult to the first by rewriting the events in such a puerile way.
Matilda (1978)
We were on a Family ski trip to the Alpes, by coach.
Carry On Don't Lose Your Head
We were going on a ski trip, by coach and this was brought by someone. Not sure if that was the same year we had Braveheart running on a perpetual loop as well. FML.
Not sure if Apocalypse Snow was any worse but it was at least amusing to see monoboarders get a good kicking.
Flatliners. What a load of tosh .
squirrelking - Member
Carry On Don't Lose Your Head
We were going on a ski trip, by coach and this was brought by someone
I recall a school trip on a coach and we got Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
Not entirely awful plus it's watchable for cheesy bad film comical value now. Also interesting to spot Milton Keynes locations doubling for Metropolis 😆
[i]Can't wait for Sharknado 3.... [/i]
I caught the first 15 minutes of Sharknado 3 on Monday night. Erm, well, wow.
Little Fockers.
Enjoyed the first Meet the Fockers, the second was ok but this 👿
Clearly scripted to allow the film to cash in by churning out a title without actually having to get the cast together - almost all of the scenes/shots involve people in different locations so that they can be spliced together and the storyline is as you'd expect. And Robert De Niro doesn't even have the decency to look embarrassed.
Without reading the previous 8 pages to see if anyone else correctly guessed the worst film ever..
The answer is
OPEN WATER
Case closed.
Uniting two threads - this and the Liam Neesan one - Battleship is presently on 4. We've opted to watch it because it looks spectacularly awful! It's living up to expectations so far!
Diana, starring Naimoi Watts - I put it on when my mother came around, because she loves royalty. Even she said it was 'a bit dull'. I'd never been so happy to see the Eiffel Tower!
I think the Human Centipede would have been more entertaining.
[quote=binners ]Uniting two threads - this and the Liam Neesan one - Battleship is presently on 4. We've opted to watch it because it looks spectacularly awful! It's living up to expectations so far!I've watched that and couldn't make up my mind whether they really were playing it as a spoof.
Quite enjoyed Battleship 😕
