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[Closed] Why pay someone to **** in your pants.

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[#2438376]

So, I need to loose some weight. I've got a weakness for fatty foods.

It's easy to cheat with online Boots questions. So I get some Alli pills. "Loose 1lb for every 2 lbs you loose your self".

First few days are no problem and I feel better. But then I realise the USP of these £1 a day tabs.

Once you have an "unhealthy" meal (an omlette with cheese in my case) you crap your pants. Simples. Theres no nice way of putting it.

They call it "wind with oily spotting".

It's shit. In your own pants. No warning.

The notes with the drugs say "a treatment related side effect" or something. Basically eat bad and you shitz your pants.

It doesnt take me too long to realise that I can save £30 a month and just decide to shit in my own pants when I have some cheese or a take away. Pretty close to an eating disorder imo.

Or I could have missed something?

Gross. Gullible. C'est moi!


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 12:55 am
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Ooh, this one's got legs, I reckon!

Qualitage Friday night entertainment! 😀


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 12:58 am
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🙄


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 12:59 am
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[IMG] [/IMG]


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:01 am
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It says it stops you absorbing 25% of the fat you ingest, where do you think that fat is going to go? It won't ooze out your ears, fat is heavy so will ooze out southwards.....


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:01 am
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khani - a pic is worth a 1000 words etc!


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:02 am
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Slippy arse cheeks?


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:03 am
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dan-I know. On a good day its like someone has poured a bottle of oil into the crapper.


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:04 am
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I took them for ages. Never soiled myself. I was a bit loose, but my sphincter control is adequate.


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:05 am
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😆 ........... 😆 . 😆 . 😆 ......... 😆
😆 ........... 😆 ........ 😆 ......... 😆
😆 ........... 😆 ........ 😆 ......... 😆
😆 . 😆 ..... 😆 . 😆 . 😆 ......... 😆 😆


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:05 am
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Pretty good incentive not to eat bad then.


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:06 am
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Pretty good incentive not to eat bad then.

Exactly. Why pay £30 a month. Im on a winner here. Send me £30 etc....


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:08 am
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I guess in the (unlikely) event you recieve any suprise backdoor action you'll be pre-lubed :mrgreen:


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:09 am
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😯


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:10 am
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I took them for ages. Never soiled myself. I was a bit loose, but my sphincter control is adequate.


This implies that the OP's isn't, which implies something else.....
I'm going to bed before it degenerates even further


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:10 am
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what happens if you take double?


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:11 am
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what happens if you take double?

Nothing. Self regulating or somesuch,


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:12 am
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Well thats boring


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:14 am
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Strangely, boring is something I hanker after just now.


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:16 am
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I've just come back from the pub.
Off now to see if they'll let me back in.


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:18 am
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[img] [/img]

?


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:20 am
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Remind me NOT to play tail gunner on the next STW/TBC ride....


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:20 am
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Druidh - dont worry. Thats me finished with em. Totally. Smelling of roses I'll be. A bit fat, but fragrant!


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:25 am
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Has anyone else got an ad up here on the right for Harvey Medical group?

It clearly shows a lady in pink knickers and suggests hair removal of the foo foo zone.

Surely the ad man should be banned..


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:34 am
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No, I've got one for betterbathrooms.com
Pic does contain toilet as well as a bath, but it looks unused.


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:39 am
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It clearly shows a lady in pink knickers and suggests hair removal of the foo foo zone.

Ooh - there has to be a silver lining to this embarassing cloud of mine. Can you post pics?#


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:43 am
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Micro finance empowers 🙁


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:45 am
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From the Harvey Medical Group site especially for you....

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:46 am
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Cork bung? Wouldn't a rubber one be better?


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:47 am
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what happens if you take double

saw that in a film once


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:50 am
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over the counter Picolax anyone......


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:51 am
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I can't see the mods banning me for displaying an image i've seen advertised up there, in THEIR ads.

Hey it's not much, but far worse has upset many.
[img] http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/imgad?id=CJaY07Ohhd2YLxCsAhjvATIIHLzctcIL12k [/img]


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:52 am
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At least this thread brings up this Google Ad

[img] http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/imgad?id=CJaY07Ohhd2YLxCsAhjvATIIHLzctcIL12k [/img]
/p>

Tried some fat busting pills that my missus had and came very close to shitting my pants (think there might have been a dribble). It was basically a shit, but with a complimentary dose of greasy horrible orange liquid chucked in for good measure.


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:52 am
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Beat me sharki....


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:53 am
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Well there's an offer! 😆


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 1:58 am
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I thought it was a well known side effect of Alli that it causes involuntary sharting if you don't stick to a low fat diet properly? Doesn't actually recommend to wear dark clothes on the packaging?


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 2:00 am
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Thanks STR.

Tried some fat busting pills that my missus had and came very close to shitting my pants (think there might have been a dribble). It was basically a shit, but with a complimentary dose of greasy horrible orange liquid chucked in for good measure

I'm not the only gullible eejit here then!'


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 2:03 am
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Bare hands, or a paddle sharki?

Or were you just thinking fists? 😕 😯


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 2:04 am
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mrsToast. Sorry. Ive never been on a diet. If I had this would be the end of the world!


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 2:07 am
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I've noticed the very same effects if I drink a couple of pints of OJ in the evening before bed and a quadruple espresso 1st thing in the morning. Not any cheaper than those pills but at least I'm hydrated for a few hours 😆


 
Posted : 05/02/2011 10:02 am