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[Closed] Where is Mark Francois

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Usually the most chopsy and belligerent of the swivel eyed loons, but strangely MIA.

Could he have more pressing things on his mind.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 1:39 pm
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He's away on location, filming

He's the new James Bond


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 1:42 pm
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Arguing with himself in the bathroom mirror after checking his maid's paperwork.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 1:42 pm
 Spud
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Yomping on Dartmoor but couldn't get over the first stile..


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 1:55 pm
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Painting 'Up Yours Delors' on all the sea mines he's planning to put in the English channel on Jan 1st.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 1:56 pm
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He was on TV last week on some news program. He was still telling us how Brexit will still be fine as the EU needs us more then we need them


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 1:57 pm
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Keeping a low profile due to what are, I'm sure unsubstantiated rumours..?


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 1:59 pm
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There were stories circulating a few weeks back that he may have committed a serious offense.

No idea whether they were dismissed or otherwise. Happy to be corrected / updated.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:00 pm
 dazh
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I've been very much enjoying the 'where's Mark Francois' threads on twitter. It's like a big collective running joke. In fact almost every time a tory MP pops up someone asks them about his whereabouts. They must be sick of it by now.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:05 pm
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There were stories circulating a few weeks back that he may have committed a serious offense.

Caught inflagrante delicto with a picture of a Lancaster bomber perhaps?


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:05 pm
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Somewhere a poor copper is having to trawl through his hard drive

grim


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:08 pm
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Apparently he has been getting someone to proxy vote for him in the HoC which is a privilege that he may not be entitled to.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:08 pm
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He's been seen puffing round Llandegla on an e-bike.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:10 pm
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I believe that his manly military exploits have caught the attention of the monarch, and he is waiting at home, awaiting an invitation to pleasure Her Majesty at a later date.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:12 pm
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Caught inflagrante delicto with a picture of a Lancaster bomber perhaps?

Pretend you're an average man having sex with a Lancaster bomber by being Mark Francois and having sex with a 1/72 scale model Lancaster bomber.

I reckon that once Francois has resolved his current indisposition he'll be a shoe-in for Miniature for Defence.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:12 pm
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Death by horse dick.

In an infinite universe this will definitely happen to a Tory scumbag.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:12 pm
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Arguing with himself in the bathroom mirror

is he tall enough to see over the sink ?


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:15 pm
 tomd
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My nice tory MP Simon Clarke quit last week as minister and got kicked out by his wife over an (alleged) affair* with a colleague. People assuming it's a woman. But Mark has disappeared too. Makes you think, and you might need mind bleach when you consider he's 6'7".

*obviously conducted in a socially distanced CV19 compliant way, which might explain why the story has been supressed. Reeks of an injunction.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:18 pm
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Oberleutnant Mark Francois is apparently on a covert operation.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:47 pm
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If the wildly unsubstantiated rumours have any truth... he would need a stool (to stand on)

I thought I was better than that, but apparently not.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 2:55 pm
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Francois in a gimp mask... try bleaching that from your brain..


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:01 pm
 kilo
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On an o/t matter good to see the party of law and order assessing ex-Dover MP Elphick’s sentencing for three counts of sexual assault as an “excessive sentence”.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:03 pm
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Francois in a gimp mask… try bleaching that from your brain..

Better than without...


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:06 pm
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Francois in a gimp mask… try bleaching that from your brain..

ann widdecombe will do it.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:06 pm
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So what's the punishment if (as Twitter says) somebody has been voting on his behalf contrary to the rules?


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:43 pm
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So what’s the punishment if (as Twitter says) somebody has been voting on his behalf contrary to the rules?

It's a very limited and specific breach of the rules, so no bother.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:44 pm
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martinhutch

It’s a very limited and specific breach of the rules, so no bother.

😁


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:46 pm
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In an infinite universe this will definitely happen to a Tory scumbag.

In an infinite universe it will also happen to you. Be careful what you wish for.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 3:54 pm
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Mark Francois is an odorous little toad. His misuse of his proxy vote is just one more example of the erosion of democratic norms in the U.K. by the Conservative party.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 4:32 pm
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Where is Mark Francois?

So many possibilities.

1. Fallen down the back of a sofa.
2. Disappeared up his own anus.
3. Disappeared up Dominic Cummings's anus.
4. Attending a conference for puffed-up, short, fat little tossers.

Of course, reading between the lines of a story from about a month ago.....there could well be another explanation.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 7:00 pm
 MSP
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Wasn't his last public sighting to threaten the head of the armed forces with Cummings?

...makes you think!


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 7:17 pm
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Is it not that he's just too small to see?


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 7:18 pm
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Maybe he's gone back to his old job advising Danger Mouse?


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 7:19 pm
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The hashtag on twitter suggests a huge step up from just being an odious shit.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 8:13 pm
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The hashtag on twitter suggests a huge step up from just being an odious shit.

Go on, tells us what it is...


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 8:31 pm
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Just search for his name on twitter.


 
Posted : 16/09/2020 9:30 pm
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I'm sure this is not related to this discussion but I posted it here as it's an interesting article

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-55293545


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 12:35 pm
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Rotten to the core.


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 2:57 pm
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What a coincidence if he was to reappear


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 4:09 pm
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Just in time to help man a gunboat or a Lancaster bomber.


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 4:16 pm
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Could be that the Field Marshall is no longer on manoeuvres and ready to lead from the front again...


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 4:22 pm
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Dads army is going to need all the help it can get..


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 4:22 pm
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Maybe he’s gone back to his old job advising Danger Mouse?

Just seen this. I would have spat tea on my keyboard - if in fact I drank tea and using a keyboard. Despite the delay and other factors - it is still brilliant! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 4:35 pm
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There's an interesting description of Francois in this article:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/dec/08/codpieces-zeppelins-best-brexit


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 4:56 pm
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Fell out with Dangermouse.


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 5:52 pm
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