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Not that as bad as most but funny because of the look of bemusement on the women's face as she stared at her "beached" BMW after attempting an illegal right turn over a traffic island on the Hammersmith Road.
A couple of years ago a woman turned out of her work carpark and turned straight into a traffic island (I think she was in a rush). She climbed out and jumped up and down shouting 'FARRK FARK FAAAARKKK'. I would have laughed but it was a MX5 that she was driving 🙁
An ex of mine saw nothing wrong with driving home from the pub on a regular basis. Watching her get out of the spaces she was parked in was hysterical, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash until the space was big enough.
Strangely she doesn't drive anymore.....
Hav also witnessed a couple of people driving the wrong way on dual carriage ways, a few people reversing along hard shoulders and back up slip roads, and one guy trying to join a motorway from the exit sliproad?
we had a porsche garage opposite my old workplace. they were unloading some new cars from a transporter and having a shuffle around one day and one of the staff obviously had a bit of throttle/brake confusion and punted a 911 into a Cayenne. Both cars still had the paint protection plastic on and the 911 looked a right mess - it's amazing how much enegry they have after travelling 20ft at full throttle.
she just stood in the car park with her head in her hands crying.
wwaswas, that story reminded me of [u][url=
epic parking fail[/url][/u]
If ever you needed confirmation of BMW X5 drivers...
As a pedestrian in Helsinki I watched a woman turning out of a junction beach her car on one of the big snowbanks that line the inside of EVERY junction for half the year. She did it slowly and I could see it about to happen.. funny 🙂 I'd have helped but I didn't know what to do. Thinking back I should've helped her dig the bank from under her car...
I also nearly killed myself and about 15 other people in the minibus I was driving on the A30 in Cornwall, dual carriageway. I'd passed a lorry which was the only other vehicle in view, left plenty of space and was about to pull back in. Checked my mirror, started to move and then a car came flying up the INSIDE at at least 120mph. Must've slalomed between me and the lorry. I was a bit shaken, then I looked again to move back and another car did the same thing. Racing tw*ts. It would have been total carnage.
Seen lots of things in my time but I like this one.
Saw an old man driving down a lane with a series of very tight bends, he decided to ignore the bends and just drive in a straight line up kerbs, across verges through the fields.
His missus looked petrified, white knuckles hair on end, whilst he just went on non plussed.
Outside our work. Police motorbike with lights and siren going, lorry pulls right across in front of bike. Kills Policeman.
I don't know if this "bad" driving, but in Cairo, I got a taxi to go to the railway station. I left in plenty of time, but the taxi driver was in serious hurry, as flat out as possible all the way. On the last stretch, we were behind a police car and ambulance, both with blue lights flashing, he went right up behind them and started flashing them to get out of his way.
A white van overtaking a line of traffic going up a steepish hill with a blind top to the hill, he made it, but a car tootled the other way about 5 seconds after he disappeared over the top, seconds away from carnage, its a 60 mile an hour road!
Idiot!
Driving in france, from dijon up towards the coast. I'm doing 80 or whatever the dry speed limit over there is. Car behind goes to overtake me, failing to notice motorcyclist already going round. Motorcyclist backs off to avoid being crushed against the central barrier, then when the car pulls back in, he comes up alongside it and starts kicking the shit out of it!
Couldn't believe it. They where probably doing 90 odd whilst this was going on.
Saw the car later on, side of it was completely shagged. Every panel dented in
My mother bless her used to have a mini traveller (old style half timbered) and my dad could never work out why it did bugger all to the gallon, putting it down to short journeys. One day he went out with her driving, she got in, pulled out the choke knob, hung her handbag on it and drove off.
A white van overtaking a line of traffic going up a steepish hill with a blind top to the hill, he made it, but a car tootled the other way about 5 seconds after he disappeared over the top, seconds away from carnage, its a 60 mile an hour road!
Standard procedure on the A68 (Northumberland to Edinburgh). I must see at least two dodgy overtakes like that every time I drive it. Not to mention the folk determined to do 80+ on it, despite the sharp bends, blind summits and SNOW.
One day he went out with her driving, she got in, pulled out the choke knob, hung her handbag on it and drove off
I learned to drive in a Fiesta with a manual choke. If you left it out for long enough the engine basically stopped working.
On a similar 'what do women think about' thread.. my dad once installed (ironically) an oil pressure gague in a car they had way back. He didn't secure the lines well enough and when my mum was driving one came off and all the oil leaked out. Fine, his fault - he accepted that. Except my mum continued to try to drive until the engine seized completely solid. He was utterly astonished how she managed to ignore the what must've been god-awful noise of the engine grinding its way to seizure without thinking 'what's that noise?'
Piston:
That made us laugh.
I reminded me of my assistant, who swore blind she was a good driver, on her life (even though her sister tells stories on many near misses).
Anyhow, we’ve pulled into a park, off the A1)M) near apex corner, rejoining the 3 lane carriageway, she joins the middle lane, doing 30, there’s only one car for miles, he’s in the middle lane, doing about 80.
I braced for impact and poor bloke, he slams on his anchors and stands it on its nose.
To this day, she swears blind he was driving too quickly and he had to get out of her way – not that she even saw him in the first place.
She’d had a few accidents, but mostly, she’d seen dozens in her rear view mirror!
Molgrip. I think when an engine seizes, the pistons stop moving and you stop, depress the clutch quickly! but no end-of-the-world cacophony.
Not quite on a par with some of these, but in the flurry of snow we had here in Belmont a couple of days ago, no fewer than 6 new holes appeared in walls and fences along the A675. I don't understand why people expect their car to behave like it would on a summer's day on 2 inches of snow on top of black ice. Morons...
zokes between 11pm and 5am and you'll see that drunks drive all year round during these times...The snow and ice offer less forgiving conditions for a alcohol-fogged mind.
On the giant roundabouts coming down from Stalybridge to Ashton every morning you'd see fresh holes ripped in the railings where drunk drivers had driven towards them at high speed in a straight line then presumably just pilled on into the roundabout 😆
Around our way - every morning around 5.30-6.30amish you can hear the familiar quick two-blips of the siren 'whoop-whoop' of a Police car alerting a car to pull over for a breathalyser...
A guy at work told me a good one. He was going through a divorce and has just seen his missus so a bit stressed out. He went to get some petrol. Pulled up to the pump, unfamilier car, wrong side. Grrr pissed off pissed off slams it into reverse and floors it .......
Right into a couple of pumps which he manages to severely damage.
Petrol starts pissing everywhere
Alarm sounds
Major evacuation incident
Sheik Zayed Road in Dubai is terrifying
Major evacuation incident
You know, for once that really does have a double-meaning when you throw in a leaking petrol station and metal on metal..
Seen plenty but have been guilty of stoopid things myself a few times...
As hora above, passed my driving test back in the mid nineties, got a car and headed off to visit mates in London...tried desperately to plan my route to avoid the Hangar Lane gyratory...but still managed to end up having to do a righty on it just after getting off the A40 to head towards Ealing - I nearly shat myself, never having negotiated anything other than two lanes during lessons etc...suddenly I'm faced with getting across around five lanes with London drivers - I'm sure I scared some of them shitless. 😯
Best ever was in Dallas when I was there for work. Driving back from yet another 3 hour Mexican lunch - I'm sat at a mahoosive junction - traffic light controlled crossroads. Four lanes of traffic on either side (so eight crossing eight with islands down the middle to separate each four). I'm in the right hand lane waiting to make a right turn. One colleague is in the passenger seat, two more in the back (all yanks). Lights go green, I go back into UK mode, go straight past the four lanes I should have turned into and make like I'm doing a right turn at home - straight into the wrong side of the road. It's empty, for some reason not a soul around, the guys in the car start screaming at me and then I realise what's happened when I see four sets of headlights coming towards me...thankfully all slowing down. All I can do is mount the central reservation which must have been around nine inches high, scrape the shit out of the undercarriage with three yanks about to faint. I must have looked like a total tw4t - but it was funny. Strangely enough, I was never allowed to drive to lunch again.
On a personal level, my sister gets my vote.
Years ago on a Saturday night my parents were at their friend's house and my sister called them asking if she could borrow money to go out that night. My mum said yes but she had to come round and get it. My sister asked if she could drive their Mercedes to get there and they said no.
She went in the huff about this and went out to get her car instead. In the garage was my MGF, in front of the garage was her Punto and behind that was my parents Merc. She had to reverse the Merc out to get her car out so still in a rage because she wasn't getting to drive the Merc, she jumped in and went to reverse it out. It's a quiet cul-de-sac so she's looked about and saw no one was there and she's floored the accelerator in a fit of rage but the EPIC FAIL moment was the fact she'd put it in first gear instead of reverse so she shot forward into the back of her Punto which she then rammed into the garage door which then hit the back of my MGF.
I don't think I spoke to her for 6 months after that.
MGF? interesting choice of car - maybe your sister did you a favour
Nope. My MGF was an excellent little car. Don't believe the hype.
My Mrs had an MGF when we met and it was ****ing hopeless. Terrible scuttle shake and truly shameful build quality. They went bust for very good, sound reasons.
saw police car driving down a high st. on a busy Saturday afternoon at about 50-60mph, no emergency sigals or anything and then locked the wheels up and skidded sideways to a halt when a pigeon landed on the ground in fron of the car to eat some crisps someone had dropped.
saw a police car with four police inside driving along the M4 between Bath and Swindon during really severe high speed winds well in excess of 95mph (no emergency signals) and the car was being blown right across three lanes sometimes and the driver made no effort to slow down.
seen loads more. A near head on collision sticks in my mind when some idiot decided to overtake in a dip. We were at the brow and could see the car coming the other way, knobber obviously didn't. Screech... cars skidding into the hedges to avoid each other.
Saw a driver enter the M4 slip road at Maidenhead heading towards Reading and went across all three lanes, through the central reservation (at the time there was a gap there) and across the three lanes on the other carriageway, missing our van and a head on collision at 80+mph by about 1cm and then ending up in the ditch.
The list is endless...
Plenty of bad but 'the worst' in terms of consequences and the effect it had on me and the family:
Heading out of Bath on the A36 a few years ago, on 'Good Friday' of all days, for those who might know it, the Warminster Road. 30 limit up-hill. Me driving, family on board, in a queue of traffic doing 30. I see a red Corsa attempting some diabolical overtakes in my off-side mirror. Pushing his way past people in the face of oncoming traffic, I move left and let him by. He looked possessed.
Ahead of us is a Landrover with another family onboard. The road narrows and he's stuck behind it.
At the end of a straight there are a series of S bends, it goes from 30 to 40 to NSL.
We lose sight of the Corsa and Landrover as they head around the bend.
I slowed anticipating the worst and sure enough around the next bend the Landrover was across the road, the Corsa on it's side and the oncoming car smashed up (I forget what it was - probably couldn't identify it front on come to think of it).
As anyone who's come across a proper collision will testify the results are not pretty.
Corsa driver was not wearing a seat belt and got thrown out of the drivers window, taking off the back of his head. He was still conscious and combative though and screamed for a good few minutes before going quiet.
Thankfully no-one else involved was seriously (physically) injured but the woman and young female passenger (daughter?) who he collided with and the family in the Landrover who witnessed his death were understandably traumatised.
I put gloves on before trying to deal with him but ended up cutting my hand on broken glass trying to cradle his head on the floor - my blood mixed with his, my suspicions confirmed, he turned out to be an IV drug user so I had an agonising wait for Hep and HIV test results.
His parents phoned me a couple of days later, he'd had an argument with his girlfriend. They wanted to know how he had died and I lied and said "peacefully".
Ride and drive carefully out there 😉
my mum in her smart car trying to do a 3 point turn 😯
I'm not saying who, but I've been in a car with someone who really thinks they are a good diver, but in reality has absolutely no skill at all.
They spend all their time either flat out on the gas, or hard on the brakes, and really is a danger, but just can't see it. Too close, too hard, too fast, no observation, no concentration, no smoothness. An utter mess.
I've been in their car a couple of times, once in heavy traffic, and I was absolutely scared witless. Never again, if I can possibly avoid it. I'd rather walk.
If it's a STWer you're referring to, I reckon I could have a stab at who it might be...
My two favourite are the guy who pulled out to overtake (I was on my bike) in sight of a T junction managed to lose control of his car mount the pavement and hit the grass bank. Bit of a brown trouser moment for me as he was quite close.
Second was a guy who was so impatient that on a single lane bridge about 5 m long he decided that he would overtake me by mounting the curb with two wheels and trying to get past.
seen a few people drifting (full on tail out) on round abouts in rush hour traffic - some in better control than others but still pretty stupid!
1996, Walking down the to the pub to watch Euro 96, hear a screaming engine..... Mini flies up the road, clips the roundabout (2ft high), mounts the pavement opposite me and knocks down the bus stop much to the horror of the 6 people stood there!!!
As the car went passed i saw the driver with her head bent backwards over the seat.....
i ran in the nearest shop and got Them to call the emergency services then set off up the road after her.
She had made it around the bend before her engine seized having ripped out the sump at the bus stop and people were helping her out of the car.
She was very elderly and asked "was i going a little fast back there"?
...... HER RIGHT FOOT HAD A PLASTER CAST ON IT !!
Policeman suggested she wouldn't be driving again ...... saw her a month later driving the same car!!!..... go figure?
I rolled a baby suzuki 4wd thing fairly spectacularly. That was utter rubbish driving. It was on a straight dirt road. I forgot I wasn't driving a hi lux, I swerved to avoid a bird, as it started to slide I lifted off rather than powered thru - spun then flipped corner to corner. about 3 rolls IIRC. No glass left in it, whole body at a funny angle not an undented panel. No injuries fortunately bar a severely bruised ego.
FAIL
my scariest time in a car was just after I left school and was working in a small engineering office to get some work experience before going to uni. Well the boss had a habit of falling asleep (there's a name for it) and also did this while driving I soon found out. Thank god for rumble strips on the motorway 😯 Hill starts (or should that be stops) weren't much fun, stopped at traffic lights and he would fall asleep and start rolling back, its not easy when your the new kid nudging the the company owner to tell him he's fallen asleep at the wheel again 😯
i forgot about a guy from work, that i don't know, came out of car park. rear wheel seized - car slid to a halt, he got out kicked the wheel and drove off, the wheel of course seized again - this time he continued driving - engine bouncing off the limiter - rear nearside wheel completely locked, tyre smoke every where, tyres are screeching by the time he's caught up with me (walking) 1/8th of a mile - got out and looked at it really puzzled like!!
moral of the story - replace the wheel bearing when it starts to rumble!
One person driving the wrong way? Consider yourself lucky. I was on the A64 t'other day and EVERYONE was going the wrong way. Honestly, dunno what's happened to driving standards in this country.
We went to Goa last year & spent many a happy hour in the Fishermans Cove just watching the driving antics. Not one accident though.
TBH...
I don't think any drivers are good. I think it is easy for people to convince themselves they are better and more capable than they are, smooth and safe in inverse proportion to their egos.
Every time I ride on the roads I see stupidity, dangerous driving, arrogance, selfishness and impatience. These are standard qualities of a human being upon sitting behind a steering wheel and starting the engine.
Even Disney could see that:
http://www.copenhagenize.com/2010/01/driving-makes-you-goofy.html
Not the worst driving by a long way,but....
A member of our esteemed constabulary driving his patrol car,pulling away from traffic lights whilst holding his radio/phone to his face,& not seatbelted up either.I was stood alongside waiting to cross the road at the junction.
FFS,if roles were reversed he'd soon have flagged me down & issued the fixed penalty.
I once worked with a guy who was about 6' 4" and drove with his nose pressed against the windscreen. It meant he couldn't see the speedo properly so had to choose a car with a dangly bit on the speedo needle so he could roughly work out what speed he was going based on the position of the dangly bit.
1980s. My mum getting me and my sister ready to go to school, when my father appears, walking up the drive. A short time later, a tractor appeared with a trailer. On the trailer is his Audi Quattro with half a hedge where the front wing should be.
FAIL.
15 years later, I've been to see a friend in Myrthr before he went travelling for 6 months. Driving home in the p*ssing rain, I realised I'd missed my junction to get on the A40. Forced to join the opposite carriageway, I booted it only to realise I'd entered a tight 270 degree bend way to quick. Lifting off, the back end let go and the thought that went through my mind was "In F1 they countersteer to flip it round" when BANG! I bounced the back of it off the Armco and rolled to a halt on the grass on the inside of the bend. Standing there in the rain, the car was a good 18" shorter.
FAIL.
It's all in the genes it would seem... 🙄
I once saw a 3flatcaps night ride end in a sprint for the yew tree , culminating in 2 lads going down .
Riding along with a mate on the road bikes, mondeo overtakes us-nice and wide, immediately mitsubishi FTO over takes us and mondeo and disapears off down the winding undulating road...1/2 mile later....FTO upside down steam escaping from the crumpled body, c0ckend driver clambering out in his shiney suit!
Been showing off his new heap of crap to his mate in the mondeo, but didnt know the road went into a dip/tight right
He hit the black/white chevron sign which he drove up and was flipped over!
Cue me and my mate stopping and giving him a right mouthfull and laughing at him at the same time
There is practically a warning everyday on the radio in this part of Germany of someone who is driving in the wrong direction on the Autobahn. I just can't see how someone could be so stupid as to mistake the exit lane for the entry lane. It became such a problem in Austria that they have now fitted those flaps in the road that only let you drive over them in one direction on a lot of the exit roads.
After rolling my Rover last year when a tyre blew I'm probably not best placed to comment, but having a place in The Gambia opens your eyes to some amazing driving, & some equally amazing uses for a car. Thankfully speeds are never that high.