That Pork does look good Chewkw.

*eyes Chinese menu on notice board.

MrOvershoot - Member

Sorry chewkw see my edit

But I will have a go at that pork

Ahh sorry to hear that ...

Hope she is going to be fine.

🙁

jambourgie - Member

That Pork does look good Chewkw.

*eyes Chinese menu on notice board.

Usually it's called Pork belly with yam/taro but I doubt they will have that one notice board. Not all chefs want to cook this as the preparation takes time as the pork is cooked 3 times ... boiled, fried/grilled and steamed ...

But if you see Chinese ordering them then go for it. Might be more expensive than other dish but this is proper stuff. 😀

Sadly I think she is starting to suffer cognitive decline and has pulled back 20 years in her mind as she keeps asking me about stuff that happened back then as though its the present!
She's being kept in overnight for observation as the carer called the paramedics at lunch time due to her strange behavior.

See my other edit

MrOvershoot - Member

Sadly I think she is starting to suffer cognitive decline and has pulled back 20 years in her mind as she keeps asking me about stuff that happened back then as though its the present!
She's being kept in overnight for observation as the carer called the paramedics at lunch time due to her strange behavior.

See my other edit

😐

Being serious for a sec, try a hot chocolate fondant. It really is a piece of piss. Follow Ramsay's recipe below with or without the Tia Maria. Whatever time suggested just keep an eye on them and wait for the very top centre of the pud to raise up to the same height as the edges (which will rise first). Pop out and serve hot with a dollop of whisked double cream with a hint of vanilla.

http://www.redonline.co.uk/food/recipes/gordon-ramsay-s-chocolate-fondant

Always an impressive dessert IMO.

Forgot to add - depending on the size of your mould, I make two larger fondants from the above measures. Bigger is better where these are concerned.

http://www.jamieshomecookingskills.com/recipe.php?title=bolognese-sauce-with-pasta

Do this so you can have the sauce ready and simply concentrate on cooking the pasta to give you time to concentrate on other things. The beauty of this depends not so much on the ingredients but rather on for how long it is cooked. I did it with pork yesterday and made two women very happy.

A bolognaise sauce breaks the golden rule of early date food, if you get the eating wrong it can make a right mess

Or it gives you the opportunity to show your table manners with finesse.

A chick I shared a house with brought home a big block of stilton and asked what could I do with it, and I did chicken in stilton and asparagus thingy. she was super impressed.

12 years later, we got babies and houses.

so play cant' cook, wont cook. get her to bring an ingredient and you try to make something up. if its shit you can laugh about it.

See if she likes pulled pork.

Steak
Salad/capers/dressing
Beetroot
Two bottles of white wine

A hardcore porno movie.

If you've got time, these are astonishingly good. 2-3 of hours slow cooking in the oven ahead of time, then 20 mins with the sauce on to finish.

[img] [/img]

[url= http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2248636/stickiestever-bbq-ribs-with-chive-dip ]BBQ Ribs cooked in coke[/url]

[Insert sucking meat off a bone joke here]

Very sorry to hear that MrOvershoot.

Steak
Salad/capers/dressing
Beetroot
Two bottles of white wine

A hardcore porno movie.

Steak and white wine? FFS... 🙄

You could recreate a colliery--complete with pit wheel--from cake, like wot that bloke off of Bake Off did, that was very impressive

hora - Member
Steak
Salad/capers/dressing
Beetroot
Two bottles of white wine
A hardcore porno movie.

Now you're my kind of date!

Except the white wine.

Needs a nice motepulciano that

get down on one knee now. (I think I have failed in avoiding innuendo fodder)

Unless you're dating Heather Mills.

A bolognaise sauce breaks the golden rule of early date food, if you get the eating wrong it can make a right mess

Bolognaise is [i]perfect[/i] early date food. If you can't have a laugh together then you're doomed from the off. I also recommend something that'll give you both really vicious trumps.

Except the white wine.

Needs a nice motepulciano that

Its not to impress you, the ladies like a white?

Disagree with Bolognaise. You don't want her to feel stuffed/full - she'll be too paranoid to rip her clothes off with the lights on. 😉

If you want to go with Lasagne and Garlic Bread, [url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/classic_lasagne_07638 ]this[/url] and [url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/focaccia_with_garlic_and_35777 ]this[/url] are ace recipes.
RM.

I do pretty much all our cooking for the last year or so, for various reasons but mainly because my wife is so busy at work that she struggles for time.

If I was cooking to impress a new lady I'd consider the following menu as an option:

Starter: Pan fried scallops with black pudding on a pea puree.
Main course: Twice baked potatoes with salad, steak and pepper sauce.

Very, very easy to cook but should impress as long as you get decent steaks and make sure you cook them properly (make sure the pan is very, very hot, oil the steak not the pan, make sure you don't overcook them and also give them time to rest before serving). Also pay a little bit of attention to presentation.

The other crowd pleaser that I cook often 'cause it's easy is pan fried cod server on a bed of kale champ with a poached egg on top.

Lasagna/bolognese sauce should really have chicken liver in it though IMO. Got a Claudia Roden recipe which I've done a few times and has gone down extremely well (even with those who didn't think they liked liver and didn't get told it was in it before eating 🙂 ).

(even with those who didn't think they liked liver and didn't get told it was in it before eating

I find that blitzing it up in a food processor first before cooking it helps to hide the fact that it's there. I never tell anyone there's liver in mine until after they've eaten it either.

The last time I did this it was a success.....

The key is a menu that can be fully prepared the night before, leaving you free to serve beautiful food, and impress with your smooth talking without stressing in the kitchen.

I started with a crab and smoked salmon terrine - this is really easy to make, and can be kept in the fridge for at least a night, so you just have to serve it on date night. It is delicious.

Main - tuna steak, served with a (pre-made) chilli, ginger and garlic butter, and some purple sprouting, carrots and a couple of new potatoes - keep it light.

Dessert - I think I cheated and bought Gu ones.....It was in the bag so to speak by that point. Hope it goes well!

Four hotdog sausages on her plate. Nothing on yours. Tell her you just want to watch.

I did this from Waitrose

[img] [/img]

6 mins in the microwave; bottle of wine.
That was the last time I got my.. erm, fishy rice n peas. Good though *sigh*

Four hotdog sausages on her plate. Nothing on yours. Tell her you just want to watch.

[img] [/img]

Last cooking to impress date I had I did venison steaks, light salad, good bottle of red. Talking point was I'd shot and butchered the venison myself... I suppose I should have checked if she was a veggie in advance.

Can I suggest a plate of diamond jewellery ? That is the only cooking that would impress me. I quite like sapphires too.

And she clearly isn't that interested in food, if as you say, she is a rubbish cook.

And she clearly isn't that interested in food, if as you say, she is a rubbish cook.

ALL girls like to brag. Come on, just look at their facebook page after the meal- you'll see them gushing(!) etc over the fantastic meal they've just had made for them.

And she clearly isn't that interested in food, if as you say, she is a rubbish cook.

I know several women that are rubbish cooks but are still interested in good food - as long as someone else is cooking.

Twice baked potatoes

What's wrong with cooking them once but just do it properly?

I'm still wondering how hora managed to find that picture of the hot dog sausages so easily.

Or maybe it's from his personal collection????

Rachel

Does seem a waste of good sausages!

If your going with sausage which to choose?
[img] [/img]

Carbonara a la fettucini. Takes seconds and tastes amazing.

I think I've solved it:

You'll all have to cook me a meal and I'll then decide which meal impressed me the most.

🙂

Rachel

Those are some quality stairs it looks like polished beech with stainless steel hand rails mmmmmmmm nice.

What's wrong with cooking them once but just do it properly?

You bake them once, the scoop out the insides and mix with sour cream and chives which you then put back in, sprinkle of cheese over the top then bake again until the top is crispy. A bit of a hassle but very tasty.

The key is a menu that can be fully prepared the night before, leaving you free to serve beautiful food, and [b]impress with your smooth talking[/b] without stressing in the kitchen.

You are Swiss Tony and I claim my free guide to the impressing of lay-deeez 8)

Actually - make that cook a meal for both emsz and I. We can't be influenced by anything other than the cooking, so you're going to get a fair result.

Sometimes, I amaze myself.

Rachel

Rachel, do you have your own hoola hoop ? mines bust. 🙁

Actually - make that cook a meal for both emsz and I. We can't be influenced by anything other than the cooking, so you're going to get a fair result.

I'd love to but I'm not convinced my wife would approve of the idea!

Gutted epicsteve - it was your fish/egg/kale thing I was looking forward to the most!

Actually - make that cook a meal for both emsz and I. We can't be influenced by anything other than the cooking, so you're going to get a fair result.

I'd love to but I'm not convinced my wife would approve of the idea!

Bring out the big guns- stuff a marrow!

[img] [/img]

Bit late to this, hope I can help: Try some, or all, of the following, all are easy and reasonable impressive in their own way.

Starter
Scallops with pea puree and pan fried black pudding or chorizo
Smoked salmon risotto (OK as a main as well but can be a bit too much)
Prawns/langoustines cooked in tomatoes with a bit of chilli and crusty bread

Main
Tartiflette
Sea bass fillet with sweet potato mash, pancetta and chilli salsa
Pork fillet stuffed with either wild mushrooms or sun dried tomatoes with crushed garlic new potatoes and a white wine and mustard sauce. Add greens of your choice.
Venison fillet with red wine sauce made with black olive tapenard. Serve with confit potato and a token bit of greenery.

Dessert.
Fake ish cheesecake. Basically vanilla mascarpone with homestead fruit coulis and served.
Chocolate mousse served in champagne flutes with home made ginger shortbread.
Cheese. Everyone likes cheese and it means you have an excuse for getting the Port out as well.

If any of those sound appealing just post back and I will send the receipts.

oooooh - tartiflette is the new leader....

Rachel

Tartiflette is always a winner. Not sure I'd cook it for a first date as it's not exactly a subtle dish but by God it's good.

Scallops with pea puree and pan fried black pudding or chorizo

You've copied my starter from earlier in the thread! It is very easy to make and very, very good. My tip to enhance it a bit is to add some parmesan when you're making the pea puree.

I'm liking rach's idea best, although, wait there, while I just check the bannister in the picture again....

Lunge.

not tartiflette my love, all that cheese just repeats. no one needs burping 😆

edit, god it's mesmerising. 😯

epicsteve, my apologies, clearly it must be a good idea in that case! If you're feeling really posh you can make a little Champagne reduction to go with it as well, works a treat.

Rachel it's all smoke and mirrors just words don't be fooled.

You've copied my starter from earlier in the thread!

Sort it out like adults.

i mean err, it's degrading and you should be ashamed of yourself..

emsz. You can insult me, my cooking or even my wife. But please, don't insult Tartiflette, it is food royalty and should be treated with the reverence it deserves.

(You are of course right, but they is irrelevant, you get more from Tartiflette than it can ever give to you...)

Nothing too spicy, heavy or rich as you will be banging away and don't want reflux, eggy farts or a shart. From either of you.

I'm writing a dating book.

Sort it out like adults.

Some of these are getting to the point of trying too hard I reckon. You might as well just offer her cash.

/me really rather loves lunge's attitude to the mighty Tartiflette...

Rachel

in any other setting, I'm at the front of the que for tartiflette, but on a date?

seriously it'll only end badly 😆

Some truth in that emsz - it' a bit of an "omg I'm so full I might explode" kind of meal. Not ideal for later, I grant you...

Rachel

@ grum ,furiously tapping non existant like button!

I'd do saffron, chilli and crab risotto, this one

http://chriscskitchen.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/a-variation-on-nigella-lawson-chili.html

Healthy, tasty and not too heavy. It's nice with home made chocolate tart after.

Tartiflette is amazing but it's an energy food, best saved for the evening after a long, busy day in bed.

STW-standards are slipping... 🙄

Sausages wrapped in bacon.

It's a date make it special,add cheese.

[img] [/img]

joolsburger - you're proposing giving her crabs?

It's one of those foods where your like "oh go on then, just one more spoonful" and you end up with a tartifette baby, and then before you know it, your asleep on the sofa. 😆

Ah!!!! Maybe that's why the OP was served very average food - he wasn't supposed to eat it - he was supposed to get himself up them stairs, instead!!! 😆

Rachel

Of course living in a bungalow means tartiflette followed by rumpy pumpy presents no problem whatsoever.

Cook off?

I've got scallops and black pudding in the fridge so might make the pea puree/black-pudding/scallop thing tonight. My wife is working late and it'd be a nice treat for her when she gets home.

I've been experimenting with Japanese cooking of late - I reckon that'd impress on a date. Suchi to start followed by an Udon noodle soup topped with a poached egg and teryaki beef.

Forget your wife and Rachel I'm on my way , what's your address?

I don't know the first thing about Japanese cooking and kind of wish I did.

Rachel

I don't think I could do rumpy pumpy after tartiflette, I'd heave.
😳

I'm thinking no starter (tooo try hard) then something a little bit warm (spicy) or tapas, or something spainish-y then maybe creme brulee to cool it off a bit.

I'd be anybody's after that 😆

Brave girl admitting that on here...

The Japanese cooking is a new venture for me. My first efforts at suchi weren't great but after a couple of goes they looked decent and tasted good. I've done udon noodle soops a few times and I use teryaki with steak quite often (I made steak sandwiches with toasted ciabatta, teryaki beef and a beetroot and tomato salad on Monday night), but I've got quite a few things I want to try.

I make cocktails as well - that'd also impress on a date I think.

where d'you live? 😆

where d'you live?

With my wife...