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The only time I ever get asked what I do is when I get stopped by the police (there will be random stops of vans travelling back from the Highlands then theres been a tip off that drugs might have come ashore somewhere)
So every now and then I get pulled over on some remote backroad for a bit of polite small talk and one of the questions will be 'whats your occupation'. The trouble is I don't really know - or I do but its difficult to summarise. But when an officer of the law asks it feels like the answer matters. On the last occasion:
"well officer I'm sort of an artist but I don't make art very often so usually I work in film and tv but thats not what I'm doing today'
"what are you doing today?'
'Long story.'
'OK...... do you mind if we have a look in back'
'Be my guest'
Opens van door to reveal a severed head and a burnt corpse.
-
My accountant quite enjoys going through all my receipts and trying to figure out what I get up to "you bought £2k worth of wildflower seeds, and £28k worth of high explosives in the same week - were they for the same job?" "Yes"
My accountant quite enjoys going through all my receipts and trying to figure out what I get up to “you bought £2k worth of wildflower seeds, and £28k worth of high explosives in the same week – were they for the same job?” “Yes”
Surely there's a killing me softly joke in there somewhere.....
Eat: Haddock and new potatoes.
Drink: Red Wine
Listen: Friday Night Comedy.
actually I *am* a rocket scientist
Make the lights and other things work on motorways/highways and build solar farms - just finished on the biggest one in the UK
Wind people up on here
Uni I became a tree surgeon for about 9 years. Then I got my rope access tickets and dodged around the railways, industrial and commercial projects now I'm leading a team structures examiner on the railway.
Here's a picture from my glory days when I used to properly work
test software
did start getting into cybersecurity but got pulled back to work on covid stuff
now just counting the days till retirement and unfortunately it's a big number to count
Aerospace Research Engineer/Scientist focusing on generation after next math, science and technology for aircraft, spacecraft, rotorcraft and all the bits that design, build, connect and maintain them.
I love my job…most of the time.
My job title is 'Scotland Director'.
Don't tell Nicola.
you bought £2k worth of wildflower seeds, and £28k worth of high explosives in the same week – were they for the same job?” “Yes”
One way of scattering the seeds I guess.
I´m a government approved Austria guide.
Currently working a lot in the Wachau Valley, Linz and Mauthausen concentration camp.
I do many varied tours, walking, biking, alcohol based, historical, art, gastronomy and much much more.
I have my own company, I´m my own boss and love my life.
I do many varied tours, walking, biking, alcohol based, historical, art, gastronomy and much much more.
Winning.
I spent 15 years building, testing, commissioning, warranty and handover training for Sunseeker yachts, now I look after service and training in the EMEA region for Seakeeper stabilisers.
Rubber technologist...
Civil Engineering design. Used to design roads and sewers for residential and industrial developments, now flood defence. Feels much better.
I do many varied tours, walking, biking, alcohol based, historical, art, gastronomy and much much more.
I have my own company, I´m my own boss and love my life.
This sounds amazing. Well done, @iolo!
I've always wondered if people on here guessed what I did. There are some whom I've met and know, but discounting them, I've tried to keep it subtle.
@stretch… we may well have crossed paths, and you won’t need more than 2-3 guesses for who I work for!
Rubber technologist…
I've a BIL who is global engineering lead for rubber products....
I'm a Mountmaker.
Create displays for museums.
Industrial/process engineer in Automotive. Surprisingly interesting most of the time, but get dragged in to too much politics between manufacturing plants recently.
@matt_outandabout - I may even know your BIL - it's a relatively small industry 😀
I draw things, usually cars but occasionally other things too. I draw things using pens, pencils but mainly using computers, I also 3D model the things I draw using computers and then make them look nice and shiny and almost real, I now do this using VR (which is nothing like it seems in the movies). Occasionally I muck about with 3D printers and a variety of CNC machines (which is a lot slower than in the movies but still very cool). Some of the things I have drawn have been turned into real things that, to my constant amazement, actually work. A few things that I have Drawn/CAD modelled/made shiny/played with etc. are driving around. Some of my time I spend teaching students how to draw, play with CAD, make stuff and think about things too.
I also drink a lot of coffee and read the internet.
Automotive Environmental Test Engineer (bit boring now) and EV HV safety engineer (quite hands-on and much more interesting).
Explaining it was a lot better when I did chemistry cos very few people understood it.
"Synthetic organic chemist"
"Yes but what do you [b]do[/b]?"
"We make chemicals for university research labs, pharmaceutical companies and so on"
"What sort of chemicals?"
"We have about 25,000 in our order book, do you want me to explain it all?!"
That usually changed the subject fairly quickly. 😅
I teach older kids how to point lenses at stuff, and younger kids how to splodge paint around. Some might say more importantly I am also responsible for the well-being and progress of 180 11 year olds.
2nd line IT Engineer
I consider how to move trees about, build roads and bridges, manage quarries, tell machine operators what to do and wrestle with an absolutely crippling clutter of ****-wittery. Occasionally I come on here and laugh at peoples opinions regarding parallel activities in the places where boring trails are built.
I help teams, depts, functions, organisations figure out what they need to do better (and why now) then create the tools to make it happen.
Social Work qualified. Manage a team of social workers who assess and support family members (kinship carers) looking after children because their parents aren't doing an especially good job of it.
I'm a Technology Manager for an international payments application in a US bank.
I'm responsible for making sure we follow banks tech policies but also deciding how we respond to and implement new regulatory and business requirements upon the system.
It's ok - I certainly don't dread going to work, but I'd retire tomorrow if I had the means to do so...
I think I exemplify a ‘portfolio’ career.
Former member of the SAS, indie legend, astronaut and secret agent. Also a gigalo.
I am part of the team who run the cloud infrastructure and databases for a small technology company - who in turn provide software to the energy industry.
After 25 years selling climbing equipment and outdoor gear, I now work with disabled people helping them to ride and walk in the outdoors.
For the last 12 years, we never made anything for Sunderland built cars, all heads went to Renault, Dacia and Daimler Benz. Cylinder heads we used on engines, were brought in from Japan. Never did find out the reasoning for that
Hmmm, knowing what cars your place actually made, and the connection with the others mentioned, I can hazard a guess, but I’m struggling to actually define it, something to do with using Japanese engine parts in an ostensibly Japanese cars, while the engine parts you made are for European partner companies. Or something.
After over thirty years in various aspects of print, design and prepress, I started working in vehicle logistics with British Car Auctions, which then led to doing a similar job for one of the places I dropped off cars at, and picked up from, which repaired and refurbished them, prior to them either going to dealers, or mostly to auction, which then got taken over by Cazoo, a perfect fit for them. Been doing logistics for them for nearly four years, now I’m training on a secondary contract that was won during lockdown, and has been retained; we, and the other sites, basically build driving school cars for a major national learner driver company - we get transporter loads of brand new cars direct from the various factories, fit the dual controls, and apply the vinyl decals to the cars, which is the bit I’m learning to do. So far, fairly successfully, to my immense surprise!
It’s certainly not easy, trying to make large pieces of sticky-back plastic adhere neatly and tidily to a three-dimensional object that has blended curves mixed with straight lines, using soapy water, squeegees and a 1600w hot air gun.
Then after a bit, they come back, have the extra bits removed, are cleaned up and, if necessary, repaired and then sold.
I’ve certainly had worse jobs in the past.
I am a Workshop Manager in a bike shop situated between Furry Creek and Anal Intruder. Some might say that I am 'living the dream' in BC, which is just as well as I can't afford to go anywhere else 😀
I sometimes wonder how people ended up with their jobs. For me, I was permanently stoned from 1993 to 2006 and when I came out of the bud induced haze, I found that I still knew more about bikes than anything else. And it beat my dreary office job at HSBC. So I jumped on a plane to Whistler....
I sometimes wonder how people ended up with their jobs.
Unwillingness to give up mathematics, natural inquisitiveness (am a science geek), late discoverer of Biology, and a need for improved income with an impending increase in family size, were my motivations.
And I'm a published bone fide rocket scientist who fancied something a little easier 😀
Apologies
I do
Focall.
Academic (Chemistry). Mostly, train people at undergraduate or postgraduate levels. A lot if time us spent writing grant applications, some of which are occasionally funded, writing papers, teaching students, plus other admin stuff (committees etc). Every year I have to explain to my dad that I don't go on holiday from July until October ("this isn't France, you know").
Help (primarily)b2b businesses integrate the use of video, eg client testimonials as a tool for advertising, internal training videos, health and safety videos, recruitment videos etc
Just me at the mo with a lot of hiring in talent per job. Hopefully me+1 full timer toward the end of the next financial year
Early days but love it so far. Nice to make a real difference to businesses
Software solutions architect for a big American company specialising in Identity and Access Management.
At a very high level I automate management of user accounts in computer systems.
I am a compulsive tidier
I join companies and sort their IT systems, teams and processes end to end, get bored and leave. I wish I didnt as I fed up looking for a new job every three years.
Looking now as I have just finished working for a travel company, now thats been fun over the last two years, I did convince them to throw everything out and buy new so I cant be bad at this.
I wanted to do Sports & Exercise Science at Uni, but discovered computers on the way.
I'm the son of a local virgin and her carpenter husband. I don't need to work but my time with you is precious. I will see some of you again.....
Full time water fairy
Ride bikes (typically only one at a time)
Fix bikes
Think about riding or fixing bikes
Procrastinate
Eat too much
Earn money in hospitals to enable the above.