Forum menu
Food getting stuck in your teeth
@IdleJon - perhaps you need to meet me and my mate on one of our dog walks/pub crawls in the Matlock area. You could help us with our research into the theory of tumbles?
Lolz at Hannah,that shoehorn looks like it could be weaponised 😆 🤣
I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..
TBH that’s an any age, always remember my mates funny story of one of his nuts popping out whilst he was sat down,in front of another mates mum who was taking his jeans up(she was a seamstress and the length of his jeans were bugging her).
Whenever I was there my only embarrassment was always caused by their jack russell shagging my leg.
That and at 47 years of age, i am finally contemplating a pair of slippers as all of a sudden our wooden floors at home have become really hard!
I just wear ‘sliders’ on our stone floors.
slippers are just meh, you’ll end up wanting to wear brown cardigans and brown nylon trousers that are one inch short.
@dudeofdoom - it’s sitting on them when older that becomes a problem, not exposing them! Although, occasionally now I discover my flyhole undone and I’m never sure whether I’ve forgotten to do it up or unzipped in preparation and then forgotten what I was about to do!
I wear socks and sandals around the house, largely to annoy judgemental arseholes who are labouring under the misapprehension that I give the slightest of ****s what they think about what I wear at home. 😁
largely to annoy judgemental arseholes
You share your house with judgemental arseholes? Otherwise how do you make it known to judgemental arseholes what you are wearing around the house? I am intrigued.
I wear socks and sandals around the house
i just made my peace with Cougar, welcome brethren. Calvin Kline socks and Birkenstocks all the way to the TV remote.
Can someone explain , I dont get this one – is your cock changing colour? I dont think thats due to aging……
TBH I can’t remember the colour of mine 30 years ago, although Mrs DoD did have a good laugh at the colour it went on my last great off,had the matching nuts that time and couldn’t get my jeans on as they were so bruised 🙂
Another one. The after effects of Dad strength. When you have a 14yo ripped athletic son whose goal is to win against Dad strength one day, but you have to hide the fact that you urgently need to lie on the floor and straighten your back out and take the pain away after he’s gone to bed.
I’m 45 next week and I can tick off far too many of the above points.
I’ve had 2 falls this last week, I slipped on ice and, well I won’t tell you the other thing I slipped and landed in, but I’m still scrubbing myself in bleach 4 days later. Due to this I ache all over and my knees that decided to give up last month hurt even more.
@dudeofdoom – it’s sitting on them when older that becomes a problem, not exposing them! Although, occasionally now I discover my flyhole undone and I’m never sure whether I’ve forgotten to do it up or unzipped in preparation and then forgotten what I was about to do!
Ah yes, I tend to wear the under armour or decathlon sports shorts if boxer day, baggy boxers aren’t much fun, pj’s used to cause me the most nut crunch.
I did look at a scrotal lift but does look a bit oooh 🙂
I wear socks and sandals around the house, largely to annoy judgemental arseholes who are labouring under the misapprehension that I give the slightest of ****s what they think about what I wear at home. 😁
just socks and sandals 🙂
Food getting stuck in your teeth
Teeth getting stuck in your food.
I did look at a scrotal lift but does look a bit oooh
Is that like a Stannah so they don't catch on the stairs?
I'm 58, so Yes to most of the above, apart from shoe horns and discoloured wedding tackle!
I actually put slippers on my Christmas wish list this year. Nobody got me any 😟
Although I've been wearing North Face quilted tent mules for years as pseudo slippers. In the (probably mistaken) hope that they are somehow less uncool than full-on tartan grandad slippers.
scrotal lift
Is that something you get from Machine Mart?
Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and see how long it takes to smooth out again…
Anything over a second and you’re officially worn out….
FFS! Just tried this and it was about three seconds. I’ve drunk about fifty gallons of coffee today though so I’m blaming that.
Bought some Hugh Heffner style pyjamas from M&S (Modal Cyberjammies). And very comfortable they are too. The fact that they are desirable seems to be an indication of advancing age. Indoor footwear is a pair of Birkenstock slippers. Wool outer, cork insoles, rubber sole. Even the kids want a pair now!
Is that like a Stannah so they don’t catch on the stairs
Ah funny(dark humour) story of unintended consequences of a stannah.
One of my mums relatives/acquaintances was bought one by her family as a gift as she was getting on and the stairs must have been a problem, anyway did nothing bout moan about it and just used it for moving the ironing upstairs until the day she tripped over it and fell down the stairs and then moaned no more 🙁
So the moral in the tale is don’t look a gift stannah in the mouth 🙂
Is that something you get from Machine Mart?
I think the day I had to invest in a creeper was the day I realised this aging things bad news,at the age of 30 just chucking the carpet on the floor wasn’t going to be a thing anymore.
If I’m going away, the ‘essentials’ I pack now have this at the top of the list…

Since I turned 50 my previous cast iron and asbestos-lined guts have been wreaking a terrible revenge for all those years of abuse
I tend to have a yogurt if I eat spicey, but is heartburn/indigestion an aging thing?
Well apart from having a heart attack 🙁
but is heartburn/indigestion an aging thing?
It is for me. I’m 52 now and I’ve only had it the last couple of years. I bloody love spicy food but it now involves waking at 3am (probably for my third wee of the night) feeling like I’ve been gargling battery acid. It doesn’t stop me tucking into the jalapeño’s but I have the Gaviscon waiting within easy reach for the inevitable
I thought you were going to talk about falls on the icy paths binners?
Though being pushed over by the wife isn't really an age thing is it 😉
but is heartburn/indigestion an aging thing?
Hiatus hernia innit.
More likely to have it if you are over 50.
Names to faces recall is going noticeably now with folk I don’t see often. Arthritic aches in fingers and just ‘worn out ‘ aches in knees , ankles and shoulders, largely owing to a variety ‘dismounts’ cycling or windsurfing over the years. Hairy ears ? Yes. Varifocals? Yes. Darkening meat n veg? No. Peeing in the night ? No.
Married a lady 16 years younger just over a year ago. She probably does get irritated by my snoring and farting now and again.
I’m 62 and three quarters now.I think that ageing is like being a child, who want to impress by being almost 6 or 7 … except that in older years it’s wishing it would all stop passing so quickly .
I thought you were going to talk about falls on the icy paths binners?
I’ve always been like a cat in a skateboard, balance-wise. Nowadays I’m just scared I’ll break my hip
Feeling the cold more and developing raynauds after being an all season wearer of shorts - it's not possible now! Not a physical complaint, but the ever reducing tolerance and patience levels with people...and don't even mention the bizarre variety of menopause symptoms!
55 years old, no significant signs of aging yet that I've noticed apart from historic unrepaired injuries (snapped ACL, Torn Meniscus) causing pain when over exercised. I have gotten in to the habit of a midday power (sic:lazy) nap though. Going to be tricky when I have to go back to the office more than one day a week 🙂
Oh workwise, while I haven't turned into a grumpy old employee I've certainly become an apathetic employee re work, it gets done but certainly don't go looking for additional or more 'interesting' challenges. I've very much a 'meh', why bother attitude re upskilling myself which is from my perspective understandable as I'm not planning on staying gainfully employed for too much longer.
I did look at a scrotal lift but does look a bit oooh
Refer to my earlier comment regarding clothes pegs. They really are multifunctional!
And is anyone else mildly disturbed by the similarity between Stannah and Stwhannah? Maybe my eyes are starting to go!
Sharting… last time that happened to me must have been in my teens. Quite significantly. Definitely a story for another thread.
I must say this has cheered me up immensely. Not only for the comedy value but also at 61 3/4 I have not succumbed to many of these ailments. No slippers, no weird Pyjamas, no saggy scrotum
Last shart was a couple of months ago. Just been shopping in Lidl and thought that I'd go for a cheeky coffee before heading home. I was just about to cross the road to the cafe and the prrrrrrp! Became a flup! Jesus ****ing Christ I've shit myself!
I waddled the short distance back to the car, put a bag on the seat and uncomfortably drove home. When I got home the result wasn't as bad as I'd thought with no leakage🤣
I'm solidly blaming that on some medications at the time though. It is not a regular occurrence 🤣
Jesus Christ @longdog
I've just nearly 'had a fall', off the chair at work, guffawing at that last anecdote 🤣🤣🤣 I'm now crying I've laughed that much
I must say this has cheered me up immensely...
Agreed. I can still make it through the night without having to get up. Feeling like that's a win
No slippers, no weird Pyjamas, no saggy scrotum
That picture is going to take a while to fade unfortunately
The lack of embarrassment at sharting is indeed one of the great things about getting old. You don't give a shit even at the same moment as you are
just socks and sandals
Mrs Cougar appears to be a woman with some very specific tastes!
I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..
I wonder what Danny Hart does?
Wearing "outdoors" type clothing by default. I have become Man at Millets.
One of my Scouts helpfully pointed out that my trainers look more like hiking boots than his hiking boots do. Another one of the little comedians (my daughter as it happens) did say that my "action slacks" were an improvement on the "sad old man jeans" that other leaders like to wear.
🙂
So in the next few months my scrotum is going to head to my knees? I guess I'll hold off on the "our time" profile until then
So in the next few months my scrotum is going to head to my knees?
And change colour in the process. Apparently.
You share your house with judgemental arseholes? Otherwise how do you make it known to judgemental arseholes what you are wearing around the house? I am intrigued.
Well, you lot now all know. QED.
just socks and sandals 🙂
You can have that one for the bank if you like.
Well, you lot now all know. QED.
Wouldn't it be easier to just lie rather than going through the indignity of wearing sandals with socks and hating yourself for it?
Right then, I need some help with my definitions. Just been walking the dogs, I took them down a 30degree grassy slope. In an instant my legs went up in the air and I was on my ar##! I cursed loudly then picked my muddy self up whilst looking round to check whether anyone had seen me.
I class this as a slip, a category I’d forgotten. I don’t think it was a trip or a tumble and I don’t think it was a fall as a) I’m not in the right age group, b) I was able to curse loudly and, c) movement continued after impact to absorb energy.
Any thoughts anyone?