[Closed] Trainspotting moment - what would you do?

Bit of a twist, and "mate" is now definitely "acquaintance", so something didn't sit right with me so I re-read everything from the last 24 hours, it suddenly dawned on me that it's the school holidays and why on earth would first lady (getting confusing so will keep to matts naming convension) be wearing her school uniform in the Christmas holidays?

I confirmed with bessie that it is in fact Christmas holidays and she couldn't work out why on earth would her mate be wearing her uniform. After a bit of a conversation it turns out that "acquaintance" hadn't worn a "hat" and not checked with the first lady before plunging his sword, she had come round to teach him a lesson but got cold feet when coming round and I messaged her, trying to find an angle to get back at him but after setting me up with her bessie decided not to screw her over (thanks first lady ).

Bessie and first lady have now decided that my acquaintance needs a proper lesson. We've [b]ascertained[/b] that he doesn't read this forum, him only knowing what I had read off to him and them having copied most of your advice onto an agony aunt Facebook page as the source. So it looks like the first lady is either going to go down the caught an std or I'm knocked up route, either that or reporting him to the uni for something but I've talked them out of that as that could get out of hand and official quickly.

I'm as for the under a thumb comments, yep but not sure I care! This post is actually a request of bessie as apparently you are wise enough to know what's the best thing to do!

Is it wrong that I find that "ascertained" has jumped out at me for being the misplaced word in all of that?

I'd have opted for:

We know that he doesn't
We've concluded that
We've found out that

Christ, how bored am I?

also...clinic for me in NY I reckon...

You must have something pretty exotic if you need to get it treated in New York.

Bessie and first lady have now decided that my acquaintance needs a proper lesson.
...
it looks like the first lady is either going to go down the caught an std or I'm knocked up route, either that or reporting him to the uni for something

This is the problem with sleeping with teenagers, they've got the emotional maturity of, well, teenagers. She had unprotected sex with someone she barely knows and now wants to get back at him because of... what, shame? Guilt?

If I were you (him? I've lost track, who cares) I'd tell anyone plotting a fake pregnancy scare story to piss off and come back when they're adults. Physical age aside, she's clearly not old enough mentally to be sexually active. Your not-quite-a-mate dodged a bullet there.

As I understand it, some lad has caught an STD off Donald Trump's wife and his mate is planning to teach him a lesson by scuttling Dick Turpin's horse in the woods after Christmas, while someone's dad watches.

From "my mate might be a peado"

Also, whilst I'm on one and as he's allegedly reading this,

Mate / acquaintance / whatever: you're a ****ing idiot as well. You pull some random trollop in a night club then go bareback riding (with the sort of girl who will let a random stranger have unprotected sex), you deserve for it to turn green and fall off.

If you're going to go paddling in muddy water, wear your wellies. FFS.

If you're going to go paddling in muddy water, wear your wellies. FFS.

Cougar - Moderator

If you're going to go paddling in muddy water, wear your wellies. FFS.

Cougar is the Spirit of Dark And Lonely Vaginas... ready to trap the unwary, the show-off, the fool...

Cougar is the Spirit of Dark And Lonely Vaginas... ready to trap the unwary, the show-off, the fool...

😆 Lovin' yer work!
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The whole thread is a flight of fancy.

Mr Waters is troubled by Cougars comments

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this all sounds made up, like a very unconvincing Hollyoaks storyline to me

Yes does sound very made up. Its gone from a double date scenario on page 1 with everyone happy to a machiavellian plot on page 2.

If that's the way you treat your mate then I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies.

I have sent my acquaintance a link to this post so he should be in the clear about where I stand

If there is any truth in this nonsense then maybe grow up and speak to the guy rather than sending him internet links and other facebook related shite.

this all sounds made up, like a very unconvincing Hollyoaks storyline to me

Audience testing, innit? The producers have heard we all buy Maseratis and Audis and want to target this lucrative market so have posted this storyline up to see if we'd be interested. TBH if I was writing a soap to try and lure in middle-aged Audi-driving IT consultants I'd probably go with underage schoolgirl sex too...

like a very unconvincing Hollyoaks storyline to me

Is there a convincing Hollyoaks storyline?

Anyway, let's get back on topic
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this all sounds made up, like a very unconvincing Hollyoaks storyline to me

Bloody hell it took you all long enough, so probably best I come clean... 😳

These posts are based on a series of "events" that a PHD student at my uni "apparently" went though in his final year at uni and was as told to us at a Christmas party for the sailing club. According to his story this all "happened" last year and "my" perspective being his and STW being replaced by a mix of twitter, tumblr and facebook, cycling replaced by sailing. This has been a cumulative effort from the 3 of us that were assigned to his table as newbies to the club. 🙁

None of us believed him and surprisingly he could provide almost no evidence. I have modded a few minor (very very minor) details to fit with the STW crowd but most is written as a direct word for word "what happened", not 100% sure of the time line but pretty sure I haven't added anything from how we were told it.

I've tried to keep to as faithful as the actual story, but for those of you that are wondering, yes it did continue from here and got even crazier;
-"bessie" gets involved in the public tumbr shaming (we even put together an account on here to do this)
- First lady ended up knocked up, [i]apparently[/i]
- She ended up having the kid and putting up for adoption, [i]apparently [/i]
- First lady now goes to Cambridge, [i]apparently[/i]
- He goes sailing with dad of bessie, which is "why he often can't come out with us", [i]apparently[/i]. Think he forgot about him being paralyzed here

oh yeah and to add the icing on the cake, bessie is now his "long distance girlfriend" now at Uni although she "doesn't believe in social media". We gave up spotting plot holes at this point as how did they communicate and I'm pretty sure that she shouldn't be heading to uni for at least another 7/8 months...

Sorry for the slight deception but it was too funny a scenario not to pass on! 😆

so it was a made up story based on the events of another made up story. well thanks for sharing, i'm sure we all got a lot out of that!

Don't know why you're disappointed, I'm absolutely made up for him.

Is this a successor to the Edinburgh Defence?

I'm not sure which reality makes you more of a dick

How can anyone be botherrd making shite like that up? Anyone typing all that nonsense for a bit of attention must have something wrong with them

Treeman-dous fun, eh readers?

A possibly more credible sordid story posted on a cycling website - [url= http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=40012&t=12765242 ]Original post quoted halfway down first page.[/url]

It can be lonely at Christmas

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How very odd.

I'm not sure whether I'm more confused or perplexed!!

OP - I sincerely hope you get the cat aids, yes the bad kind. 😈

How can anyone be bothered making shite like that up? Anyone typing all that nonsense for a bit of attention must have something wrong with them

OP - I sincerely hope you get the cat aids, yes the bad kind.

Well. That's a few minutes of my life I'm not getting back.

Is this the first draft of inception?

Well. That's a few minutes of my life I'm not getting back.

Should be the forum's strapline.

Well. That's a few [s]minutes[/s], [s]hours[/s], weeks of my life I'm not getting back.
Should be the forum's strapline.

Fixed it 🙂

Looking forward to,
Standing trial after first date thread.

It is not made up.

It got such a bad reception he is trying to pull the, I made it up m and manoeuvre to save face

To quote my old boss Jim Reid (RIP).... what a ****ing bag of ****ing boll**s.

But, hey, it's Christmas so let's just say.......it's a ****ing bag of fu**ing bollo**s.

Massive yaaaawn.

Jim Reid's dead?

That's going to make touring next year a challenge.

http://thejesusandmarychain.uk.com/