“Throbber” is a great word. 🤣

Walloper

Oxygen thief

Roaster 

Weapon.

Chode has always been a go-to.

Clod

Tool.

Wazzock.

Pillock.

Gobbin.

Barmpot.

("tell us where you're from without telling us where you're from")

Pretty much anything with "absolute" in front of it gets the message across.

"That bloke's an absolute pancake"

Plant pot.

Dohnut.

You can mix and match them as well, you weapons grade roaster!

Wazzock…

Tube

You can mix and match them as well

Never ending supply 

Plum 

Melt 

berk isn't as popular as it used to be 

Tube

You sir, are a ******* tube.

Works better with a Scots accent.

Prefix any of them with ‘weapons grade’ .

Whopper

Muttonhead

Cad

Goofball

Onanist.

Can be used in (relatively) polite company without sounding sweary and many won't realise the meaning.

Walloper also a favourite.

Oik
Gobshite
A Bollox
Eejit

Numptie.

OP - curious why you're looking for non-mysoginistic insults, but at the same time saying "Throbber" is a great insult. You do know that is referring to a Penis?

Why is one bad, but the other good?

Remember seeing "Trump is an absolute Roaster" at his golf course demonstrations years back, stuck with me.

From days gone by - Berk, Prune, Wotsit

melt..as in 'what a melt' or 'shut up you ******* melt'.

Come to think of it, the Scotts are the masters at the obscure put-down.

 OP – curious why you’re looking for non-mysoginistic insults, but at the same time saying “Throbber” is a great insult. You do know that is referring to a Penis?

Why is one bad, but the other good?

• Because most of the time a masculine insult is gender appropriate 
• Because in comedy terms it’s “punching up” rather than “punching down” as generally being a man is a privileged position in society

Moonunit

Come to think of it, the Scotts are the masters at the obscure put-down.

We are. But our speciality is actually stringing them together into a string of insults that may be directed and the mad radge that knocked your pint that's about to get laid into. Or at best friends as a friendly hello.

Goyt.  Smeg Head.  Anything from Red Dwarf.  

Walking Dumpster Fire.

I like the more surreal, unexpected ones or insults that manage paint a little picture, I have used/heard in the past:

"...Absolute Jazz-hammer"

"...he/she is a gigantic effort sponge"

"...intellectual equivalent of whispering in a hurricane"

"...Mind like a cotton wool cage"

"...He soars like a breeze block"

"...like arguing with a turnip..."

"...brain full of unicorns and silly string"

"...actually too thick to be embarrassed by their own stupidity..."

"...the brightest spark in this forest fire"

"...the strongest argument I've encountered for eugenics"

"...the strongest argument I've encountered for contraception"

"...I'd happily buy him a pint... of bleach"

Must be someone on here who can do a Throbber logo in the style of Thrasher mag?!

Stroker

Cockwomble still takes some beating

A recent addition came courtesy of Nihal on five live

You absolute lunch!

Needs to be said in a Danny Dyer type accent for full effect in the same way that 'gobshite' needs a scouse accent

Come to think of it, the Scotts are the masters at the obscure put-down

There is something about the combination of accent and language which multiplies the impact of the put down.

berk isn’t as popular as it used to be

Found out fairly recently that Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang. You'll have to look it up yourself, definitely at risk of the ban-hammer and NSFW.

Gripper. A ****er too stupid to move his hand.

Found out fairly recently that Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang. You’ll have to look it up yourself, definitely at risk of the ban-hammer and NSFW.

Definitely doesn't meet the OP's criterion

Insults don’t work as well with Received Pronunciation.

There is something about the combination of accent and language which multiplies the impact of the put down.

Boost, ya wee goblin! Yer da' sells Avon!

English translation: Go away, as you are mildly irritating, and your father is not very manly.

Found out fairly recently that Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang. You’ll have to look it up yourself, definitely at risk of the ban-hammer and NSFW.
Definitely doesn’t meet the OP’s criterion

Also true.

Bawbag is another joyously Scottish one

Yer da’ sells Avon

Avon calling?

Fun sponge

Pretty much all of what Richard Hammond says in THAT rant

Gland

Wet wipe.

Belter.

And like throbber can also be prefixed with 'turbo/weapons-grade/uber' to give others an indication of the magnitude of said individual.

Back-eye
(Credit @nobbingsford)