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The My Turn Post
 

The My Turn Post

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So my next project is get the house in a state it can be marketed…

Gosh, on top of everything else that must be quite a challenge! But you are clearly focusing on doing positive things, which is really impressive and of course hugely important.

Now we just take each day as it comes.

And that is of course the key.

Good luck and thanks for the update 🙏


 
Posted : 03/09/2023 10:33 am
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Thanks for the update, I ve had a similar experience but as everyone is unique I can only take my hat off to you! You’re right about the small moments. People can’t and won’t understand so it can be very lonely. Use those people close to you, be kind to yourself and accept this different path.
i chat for a living so have very few useful skills but I can wallpaper if you need a hand with the house!


 
Posted : 03/09/2023 11:20 am
 fgk
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The news we all knew would arrive one day, but never really able to prepare for came this week.

The most recent scan has shown that my wife's tumour has started to grow again, and a new area in a different part of the brain has appeared. We were expecting this might be the case. Her memory and speech had deteriorated in recent weeks.

Her case was reviewed, and no further treatment to slow the tumour's growth is to be offered. Her care will now be transferred from the hospital neurological teams to our local palliative care provider.

We were advised that things now will most likely advance 'rapidly'. The outlook is of the order of 'weeks / months'.

Focus now is to spend as much time with her as possible.

Edit: PS put the move house plan on hold until...


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 3:10 pm
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So sorry to hear this fgk 


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 3:27 pm
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fgk, I'm desperately sorry to read your post.

My thoughts are with you all right now and I'd give you a big old man hug if I could.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 3:35 pm
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That's sad news @fgk.

All the best for the immediate future and like @Poopscoop there's a cyber man hug owed from me too.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 3:42 pm
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FGK, my heart goes out to you. Be strong. mf.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 3:45 pm
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Im so sad to hear that.  As you probably remember i have both professional and personal experience of this.

Please just ask if i can help in any way.  You have a pm

Two lessons for me from my recent experience that helped be greatly 

1 tell everyone everything  It makes it much easier for everyone 

Ask you friends and family for help when you need it.   Folk want to help.  Dont be shy about asking


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 3:46 pm
hightensionline, kayak23, Bunnyhop and 3 people reacted
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fgk, so sorry for you all.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 3:56 pm
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I'm so sorry, @fgk


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 4:04 pm
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Sorry to read this. 


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 4:10 pm
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Focus now is to spend as much time with her as possible.

Indeed. Focus too on how you have done everything that you could possibly do for her, something which is very important to remember when you are grieving. My heart goes out to you and your son, no doubt you will be able to support each other.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 4:19 pm
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So sorry to read this.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 4:33 pm
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Massive respect to you for how you've coped with the past year or so, and I'm really sorry that things have reached this stage. Another big man hug from a stranger.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 5:01 pm
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Incredibly sorry to read all of this, you have gone through so much and have been so strong. Make the most of the remaining good times and keep focusing on your son. More big man hugs too.


 
Posted : 04/10/2023 5:12 pm
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@fgk. So sorry to hear what your wife is going though and what your son and you are dealing with. I hope you both get to spend time with her - right until the end. I imagine it is a lonely experience for your wife, son, her parents and you - but as said above, people want to help.

Take care.


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 10:14 am
 nbt
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Big virtual hugs @fgk,  for you, Mrs and Jr.


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 11:08 am
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So Desperately sorry to read this.

Sending love and Manhug.

Words just never seem enough .......


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 11:12 am
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That’s really sad to read fgk.
All the best. And hold your lad close.


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 11:17 am
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So very sorry to read this.
As others have said, reach out when you are ready.

bunnyhop x


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 11:17 am
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Ffs. Sorry to hear this.

As above words don't really express my sympathy well enough


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 2:28 pm
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So sorry to read this.


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 6:20 pm
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Really sad to read your last post. Thoughts with you, your wife and your son at this difficult time.


 
Posted : 05/10/2023 7:40 pm
 fgk
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I can't believe it is 4 months since I last posted.

Mrs FGK made it to Christmas. Which was important for our son and us all.

About 6 weeks ago she deteriorated very rapidly. Literally in the space of a few days went from being mobile to unable to walk unaided, and her speech became very muddled.

The palliative care team were brilliant, and supplied us with all the equipment and care visits so that she could be cared for at her parents. Her parents also have health issues and one of her relatives came to stay to assist with the care.

As she continued to deteriorate we realised we would probably not be able to cope. There were no spaces in the hospice but were offered a bed in a care home. It was a tough difficult decision but last Friday she moved to the care home.

It's a nice place and the staff are lovely. We can take the dog to visit.

It feels so brutal just watching her slowly shutdown like this. As things stop working it just feels like one shitty crappy hopeless milestone after another.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 3:31 pm
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I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through emotionally but hopefully Mrs FGK is comfortable and has the added emotional comfort of knowing that those she loves (including your dog!) are close by.

Thanks for the update and my best wishes during this truly challenging time for you and your family. I am sure that the strength and resilience that are obvious from your posts will help you all.

But equally I am sure that you also recognise the importance of freely expressing your feelings.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 3:50 pm
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I've been through palliative care at home, during my dad's cancer, and I think you've done the right thing. You'll get quality time with your wife and not be continually exhausted by the work and lack of sleep, keeping track of meds, and the constant anxiety of not knowing what to do. I was broken afterwards.

Cancer is brutal, as you say. Hopelessness in slow motion. You're a good father and a good husband, so take time to remind yourself of that.

If I can suggest anything, it's to take photographs with you when you visit. Those are my best memories of my dad's last few weeks - we looked at pictures of the people, places and pets he loved. He smiled a lot at that.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 4:20 pm
hightensionline, doris5000, theotherjonv and 3 people reacted
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So so sorry to hear this, no words other than come in here to vent if you need to


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 4:26 pm
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I am so sorry to hear that. Your wife is in great hands, and you have done all you can. I hope you can find peace in the time you have.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 4:29 pm
 scud
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Enjoy your time together, and I think that if there is anything you or your son need, please make sure you reach out on here, there will be somebody who can no doubt help, not religious in the slightest, but you're in our thoughts.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 4:37 pm
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This is so hard. I can only echo what others have said.  Pictures is a good one - Julie and I sat thru a few slideshows of our adventures in her last week

Remember I have both professional and personal experience of this. I am here if I can help


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 5:54 pm
hightensionline, benos, J-R and 3 people reacted
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fgk, I dont know what t to say.

I hope you enjoy some precious moments together at this incredibly difficult time.


 
Posted : 23/02/2024 5:55 pm
 fgk
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My wife passed away on Saturday morning.

She fought bravely and with determination for the 7 weeks she was in the care home. Her deterioration felt both too quick and agonisingly slow at the same time.

Although we have known this moment was coming for more than 18 months nothing can prepare you for it. So sad.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:20 pm
hightensionline, crossed, reeksy and 25 people reacted
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So sorry to hear that, please reach out for help if you need it


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:29 pm
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I am so sorry. I'm welling up at my computer having been lurking on this thread throughout.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:38 pm
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I'm so sorry fgk.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:50 pm
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virtual hugs fgk. take all you need dude.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:53 pm
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I hope you and the lad come through this ok, look after each other.

horrible situation.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:53 pm
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So very sad. Hugs and supportive vibes to you fgk.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:56 pm
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****, I've been dreading this update.

I'm so sorry for your loss @fgk, take acre of yourself and your son.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 12:58 pm
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So very sorry for your loss mate. Look after yourself and your lad. Thoughts are with you both.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 1:00 pm
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My condolences and a huge man hug for your loss. Make sure you can get some time for you from your friends and family. Your son will need his dad to have a chance to bend in the current storm rather than break apart.

All the very best.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 2:28 pm
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Every condolence to you from a stranger and relative newcomer to the forum like myself. It’s been heartbreaking to read through this thread and I cannot begin to imagine the scale of emotion you’ve been feeling over the past couple of years. I am sure that you and your son can find the strength to support each other through this next period alongside other family members and friends. I’m very sorry to hear this.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 3:05 pm
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So sorry to read this, I've been following since your first post. I can't begin to imagine your sorrow, sincere condolences.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 3:11 pm
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Thoughts with you mate.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 3:24 pm
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Balls, **** cancer.

The day before I went away 2 weeks back I heard about an old school friend, the year below me, who recently went with bowel cancer, it's so hard to process that people younger than you are no longer around.

Fgk, please rant on here more if you need to, some people (not me usually) are incredibly helpful at times like this.


 
Posted : 02/04/2024 4:26 pm
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